Problem: My friends GF
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  1. Problem: My friends GF

    Alright, my first thread - and post - in this forum.
    First of, I'm happy I found this and I hope you guys could help me with my problem. I've asked other friends but they're simply not as experienced as you are.

    I should begin with a short summary of who I am.

    I'm a 20 year old guy who live in an apartment in Gothenburg, Sweden with one of my best mates. From what I've heard from friends and girls I'm a nice, pretty confident and a fun and exciting guy to hang out with. People I know often finds excuses to visit me and my friend in our apartment, yes, girls do too.
    My looks is from what I've heard worth 7-9, different girls like different thing.
    I'm well built, decent body, medium long hair with a medium blond color and I work to keep my body in the shape it is.
    When it comes to girls, I don't really have a problem. Oh well, sometimes I'm a little too shy but when I pull myself together I usually number close or more.
    I've just recently started with the Game with GREAT success and I don't really want to leave the Game at this point which I'll explain later in this post.

    Now, let's move on to my problem.

    My friend is a nice guy to me and our other friends. He talks a bit to much and have problems telling the truth sometimes. Rather than saying what he actually drank he likes to be "cooler" than that. If he drank 8 beers he likes to say he drank 16. If he hooked up with one girl he likes to tell us he hooked up with 7-8.
    Yeah, you recognize the type. The thing that is the most annoying thing about him is that the number of beers or girls change everytime he tells the story.. And he tells the story atleast 3 times to each and everyone who is "close" to him. He has problems making friends and the friends he made, he made through me and they stay friends with him because they're nice, not because they like him.
    In short he's not an adorable person - and that is how he acts with us, his friends.
    With his girlfriend, he's just an ass. A giant ass.
    He cheats on her (rather tries to) behind her back and everytime they hang out he yells at her and then he goes to bed.
    The girl's brother just died an he uses that as an excuse to blame every problem they have on her - fair right?

    Well he introduced me to her and we went to Stockholm about 3 months ago with her and her friend. I watched him treat her like the dirt on her shoes, yelling at her (personally I don't yell at my dirt but you get the point) and blaming her for his shirt that was unwashed...
    "We don't live together therefor I have no reason to come to your house and wash your shit" she replied. This sent him into a frenzy and a fight that lasted for about 2 hours.

    Recently I've been hanging out with her alot and testing everyday, trying to be a nice guy - a friend.
    We went to a movie and took several long walks talking about everything from problems to the meaning of life. She is a really nice girl and she deserves better than him in my opinion. I'm not saying that I'm that person but she really thinks that.
    In her texts she explains everything and anything. Just recently she told me that she's really in love with me and she dreams sex-dreams about me everynight. Everytime she thinks about me she gets all warm and gets that butterfly feeling instantly.
    But I do NOT want to leave the Game that shortly after trying it out. I want to learn more instead.
    I don't feel the butterfly feeling at all when I think of her, not yet atleast, but I do feel the bond or whatever we have..

    I'm not a person who easily falls in love. I've been in love once and she wasn't available for me since she was together with my best friend. This was like 4 years ago and at the newyears-party we went to we slept together and she told me that she's been waiting for that for 4 years. She explained that she was in love with me too four years ago but I didn't have those feelings anymore and explained it to her.

    Well, back to the story.
    My friends GF (the one I talked about earlier) is coming over tonight to explain the sexdreams to me and I have no idea what to do.
    Everytime we've met, there has been a sexual tension in the room and I'm guessing that she want to fulfill her dreams..
    I'm not the kind of person who likes to betray his friends or hurt girls feeling by saying no if they throw themselves at me.
    I have really no clue what I should do tonight. She wanted to drink and smoke some weed with me and that's no help to me or to my thought and problems.

    So I ask for help from you.
    If you were in my shoes, what would you have done?
    How would you handle the situation I've gotten myself in?
    I'm really clueless and I need the help of experts.

    I apologize if you find some grammar or spelling mistakes, English is not my first language.


  2. Guys, meeting her in 45 minutes!
    I need some help quickly... Please.

  3. #3

    Your friend is a dick but you are asking for a whole heap of trouble. I would tell her she needs to dump him and that nothing can happen between us until she does. You live with this guy? Bad news bro.

  4. The douchebag is not the guy live with.

    She is going to break up with him but here comes another problem.
    They're going to Thailand in a week for 15 days and she doesn't want him to be heartbroken (in his case he'll just get mad, furious, outragesly aggressive, you name it).
    I don't want to talk to this girl, build up more attraction and them she goes to Thailand with this idiot friend of mine.
    It feels like she's keeping him as a BF for comfort or the feeling that she's in a relationship.
    I don't know what to do.

  5. My advice:
    Stay out of it for the moment, it's not your problem.

    Sleeping with her would cause a lot of drama. And she would come as a rebound off her last boyfriend. Emotionally damaged etc.

  6. I have met her now and she went out since I'm going to work in 5 hours, just thought that you guys should know the night we had and you'll have some more information to read and hopefully help me.

    When we met, I stood without a shirt in the hallway (she came to my apartment too early). Earlier that night I had invited some of my mates and some girls I was hanging out with but they hadn't showed up yet. So there I was, topless with her friend and the girl in the story staring at me. I'd be lying if I didn't enjoy that moment but as soon as they said, "Hi, you're looking sexy tonight" I blushed and excused myself for opening a door like that. Obviously they didn't have a problem with it since they both continued staring and nodded as if they were in another place in their heads.
    Anyways, as soon as I put on my shirt and got out from my room the other guys and girls I had invited came and the party began. The party was alot of fun and I had a good time. The girls noticed my pre-selected alpha male position in the group of guys and startet to flirt with me. That's when A (I'll refer to the girl in the story by using the letter "A" from here) pulled me away to my room. I asked her what it was all about. Of course I knew the deal but I wanted her to explain it to me herself. She did and told me that she never felt so strongly about a guy before and yada yada yada, etc. etc... She told me that she was embarrassed about telling me this and I responded:
    "There's nothing to be embarrassed about, A. Just follow your feelings, what are they saying right now?"
    I know that's a cheesy line to say but I felt that the moment and the sexual tension was just right. After that line I leaned in about 5cm=2 inches and she threw herself at me and we started making out.
    We were making out, kissing everywere except the nipples/vagina/dick and we were in our underwear. I noticed she wanted to go further but I said no since her BF still is a friend of mine and that she needed to break up with him. She told me that she couldn't wait for that day and wished it was me she asked to go to Thailand with her instead of her boyfriend. His ticket is already payed for and he took vacation for two weeks so that's kind of ruined.

    Well, back to the bed. When we were making out and touching eachother, I felt her body shiver as soon as I accidentally touch her ner her nipples or vagina and it was not an uncomfortable shiver since she moaned quietly at the same time.
    When I touched her she would always grab my hand and place it on her boob, wherever it was.
    I feel compelled and confused at the same time. I want this girl. I've realized that now but her boyfriend is a huge obstacle and a friend of mine. It doesn't matter how great or how bad he is at being friends, he's still a friend.

    I'm still asking - no begging you guys for help. Please help me.
    I'm sorry if there's more spelling or grammar faults in this post. I'm not quite sober at the moment, sorry.

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Jun 2009

    Depends on how much a friend is this guy is to you. You're preselected and the life of the party. It seems like you're a natural so to be honest you could probably get sex from someone else. Its your call and it depends on your opinion of that guy. If he isn't close then why not. He treated her like shit anyway.

  8. Alright, it's time for updates. I thank you guys for the advice I've gotten from you.

    Where we stand:
    She's in love with me, tired of all the arguing with her BF and all the shit he blames her for. He's getting tired of her. Why? I don't know, he just told me over the phone.
    When we made out she wanted to go a step further and we all know what that means. She told me "I want you so baaaad" etc. and I told her no.
    They're going to Thailand together in one week and wants to meet me and get a "goodbye-kiss" from me before she leaves.

    There's a short summary for the people who didn't want to read my other long posts.

    Back to the updates! I've asked my buddies and my colleagues and their answers differs. Some say "Back off, he's your friend!". Some say "Go for it man!". Others (the majority of the people I've asked) says "It depends. Do you have feelings for her yadayadayada. How good friends are you with her BF blahblahblah. If it feels right, go for it!"
    The thing is that I might care for this girl. I might even be able to fall in love with her... But I don't want this feeling of betrayal in my stomach every time I think of her boyfriend. Niether do I want to think "What if he found out?" every time he calls me. Hell, I don't even know if I want a relationship...

    Solution #1:
    Tell my friend. The girl is lost and probably my friend too but I'll get rid of my guilt.

    Solution #2:
    Don't tell my friend until she tells him, that way I only loose my friend. I'll get rid of my guilt.

    Solution #3:
    Don't tell my friend at all and have a secret relationship. This way I can meet other girls too but my guilt stays.

    And just to clarify my thoughts about my friend. He's a good friend in some cases. He'll back me up in a fight (probably because I'm one of his 10 friends and he considers me to be his best), he'll.... He'll........
    I really can't come up more reasons why he's a good friend. I'll list the reasons why he's a bad friend instead.
    He's annoying, scares people off with his attitude (kind of emo but not quite), TERRIBLE wingman (worst ever, trust me), he's too clingy and calls like 6 times a day just to say the same shit he said in the last phone call, rages too much, tries to be better cooler stronger than others and some more reasons.

    In short, I wouldn't care about loosing him as a friend but I still feel guilt.

    That leaves me with solution #2 or #3. I like #3 the best to be honest but it's not the way you treat a girl that's madly in love with you, is it.
    That leaves solution #2.
    What do you guys think about this? No guilt, getting rid of my clingy friend (all our common friends were friends with me first) and get the girl but I'll have to stop with the Game.
    This reasoning leaves me another solution.

    Solution #4:
    Stop talking to the girl, still be friends with her BF (after I told him she threw herself at me which she did) but the girls and her friends will NEVER talk to me again.

    I'm in for a rough part in my life.... Not to mention deep trouble.

  9. #9
    Join Date
    Sep 2006
    Silicon Valley

    There's also solution #5, which is not tell your friend and stay as far away from the chick as possible until their relationship is completely over. It's a very bad idea to get into a relationship with a chick who is so willing to cheat on her bf. How do you know she won't cheat on you if you get together? I understand the guy is a dick to her, but a normal chick would stop putting up with his BS a long time ago and break up. The fact that she's still with him means she has a hard time being single and will likely jump from relationship from relationship. The state she's in now, she's not a good long-term prospect, and probably not worth the trouble it'll cause if you get with her.

    My 2 cents,


  10. #10

    I think you made a mistake hanging out with her alone.

    Does he know you and her slept together a few years ago?

    See how things go when they get back from the trip. It might be their last fun time together, and then split up. She might "confess" being with you. He might "confess" cheating on her. Just keep seeing other girls and not care about what's going on with her. No goodbye kiss for her, just agree to take them to the airport. Picking them up at the airport... you have no idea if she's going to break down and tell him what happened during the trip. She might even say they fixed things up because of the trip, but after a few weeks, she'll be back to talking to you again.

    Get to work on setting him up with drama queens that'll keep his interest, and beginning to move on from her, to the point he doesn't really care if she's even there.

    But if you see any close friend treating a girl badly, that's reason enough to stop being friends with them and cutting them out of your life.

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