Themes

Consider this the sister article to Click! (previous posting).

In Click!, the key point was that “game,” does not necessarily fall into place with one defining “click”; rather, it is a process in which many smaller clicking points take place.

This is only half the story.

Behind the many clicks lies a deeper foundation of themes. While clicks are usually tied to practical tactics, themes are more so correlated with personal development, emotional maturity, and self-understanding of the social world. Moreover, while clicks take place at specific points in time (typically the inflection point where knowledge meets applicability), themes are cultivated over time, and permeate through all levels of progression in game.

Again, for your edification, enjoyment, and my personal reflection, here are the themes which have held a heavy influence on my core values:

- It is your right as a man to hit on that girl. Access your masculine core, hit on her (really hit on her), and be completely unapologetic about it (Mr. M – January ’10)
- Everything I say is right, and everything is going according to plan (Future – March ’10)
- If your life is not interesting, go do something about it. Get lost in adventures, go do cool shit. (Future – March ’10)
- Take the best parts of game, and the best parts of being the cool, social guy you are, and do that. Forget the weirdo shit. (Braddock – March ’10)
- Girls have feelings, dreams and aspirations just like you do (Future – April ’10)
- It’s okay for a girl to hurt your feelings, it’s living proof that you’re still human and not just a robot (Future – April ’10)
- At some point, you will need to seek out the girls that you actually like, because otherwise, as your game continues to improve, you will have plenty of girls around you, but still feel empty (Future – April ’10)
- I have complete faith in your becoming an instructor, but realize that it is only a title, that we are still human, and don’t let it all get to your head (Future – April ’10)
- Girls, just like anyone else, want you to see them how they see themselves. If you’re open to it, and she’s attracted, she’ll be open to it too. At some point, take a sidestep away from game and get to know her for her (Future – April ’10)
- It’s not bad… it’s not good… it just is. People are people, and they will do what people do. Don’t judge them for it. (Future – April ’10)
- Comfort isn’t “boring” unless you think getting to know girls, and building actual bonds, is boring (Future – June ’10)
- You have the potential to be epic, I want to see that happen (Future – July ’10)
- Even when you want a girl with every fiber in your body, you have to know that you don’t need her (Future – September ’10)
- We’re nerds… shit like WoW is funny to us because we can relate to it (Future – September ’10)
- At some point you need to make the decision of whether the juice is worth the squeeze in what you’re doing, you’ll need to find your passion/purpose, and then you’ll need to follow it with everything you have (Mr. M – October ’10)

… and the takeaways:

Tactics vs. Themes: Realize there is a difference with tactics and themes. Compared to the tactical “clicks” in Click!, none of the above themes can necessarily be taken out into field and “used” on a girl,. Instead, these are themes of how to understand yourself and the social world in which you live in. The themes help you comprehend the chemical reactions that are your emotions, and paint the backdrop for the runway in which you understand and interact with others.

Timing: Tactics tend to be black and white; you find the ones that are congruent with you and the click happens the instant you realize you are able to incorporate it into your actions. Themes are cultivated over time; they are grown and customized to best fit your core values, and are continually changing based on your life experiences and mentorship influences.

Mentorship: Different mentors will “speak” to you in different ways. Tactically, you will relate to guys that are most congruent to who you are, and the type of game that works with you. For me, I best relate tactically to guys like Mr. M and Braddock, who have broken game down into its 12,000 working pieces. I am able to pick up hundreds of small working points from watching just one of their demos, because everything from the content of their words to the movement of their subcommunications is similar and/or registers with something I can see myself doing. Conversely, my housemate and close friend, Trigger, relates less to these guys and best to a more state-based, kick-the-door-down, type of style, as seen in the likes of Helicase and Fielden.

The key point is that the mentors who influence your themes, may not necessarily be the ones that speak most to your tactics. While others have been key mentor in terms of inner/outer game breakthroughs, Future has been the most impactful in terms of shaping my values and over-arching outlook on male/female interactions, particularly regarding the “human” element to should be sustained in game. For one, I have spent the most time with the guy out of all the leads, and he’s a close friend, but beyond that, I can appreciate the breadth of his life experiences and the maturity at which he views most situations. In my opinion, not many people can bring that to the table.

Similar to tactics, the mentors who influence your themes will vary from person to person, as you will invariably relate better to some people than others. Just remember that those that most influence the working pieces of your game may not be the same ones that influence your overall outlook on game.

Paint the Whole Picture: With regards to getting better with women, neither themes nor tactics are more or less important: both are fundamentally necessary. The themes that shape your core values will dictate when/how/which tactics click with you, and the two are connected in more ways than you can imagine.