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11-20-2010, 12:58 AM #1
No matter how much I think I've grown with my self and advanced with women this past year, I always come back to feelings for my Oneitis. I wrote a whole journal of my bad experiences with her this year to remind me why I shouldn't think of her but my thoughts still go back, especially when she gives these replies to me during the times when I miss her... like tonight:
Regressing back to thinking of Oneitis again
Me: remember when you texted me "Husband" several nights ago ? I was sleeping but I dreamt you were mad at me. Then you started crying so I held you in my arms.
Me: I also know you only call me "Husband" when something's wrong. Never randomly.
Her: When I miss you a lot...
I just melted all over inside when she said that =/.
I'm going against all game theories with this...
Me: I've wanted to hold you in my arms all year
Me: I've wanted to see you everyday since I've came back in town
Her: You can't be sober husband
Me: I'm completely sober sweetheart. Its been in my heart all year. You make me nuts.
Her: Prove it.
Should I just show her the forums that I've been crazy about her this entire time?
I don't even know how you can prove sobriety over text messaging.
She does it to me again
Me: That I'm nuts about you or that I'm sober? I don't know how you can prove sobriety over texting.
Her: I'm with (questionable best guy friend)
Me: Does he want to breahtalyze me? lol
Her: I guess?
Me: Sounds fun, let me grab it. Where is the party at.
Her: Drunker (she probably means get drunker.)
Me: It's not practical for me to come this late anyhow. Have fun with your girlfriend (s).
What a dipshit I am for falling for that trap.
I can't tell if she's playing games still because we've played so many mind games with each other this year or if I'm over analyzing and just completely misinterpreting her now. Why would she mentioned she's with her guy friend after asking me to prove to her? She doesn't trust me to be sober either. I haven't been drunk for over a month.
11-20-2010, 10:09 AM #2.
- Join Date
- Feb 2010
Get this girl out of your life until you sort your inner game, at the earliest. You cannot be in any successful relationship while you have oneitis, and you have it bad. You can ignore this all you like but you will be in denial and get nowhere.
As for this.... "Should I just show her the forums that I've been crazy about her this entire time?"
That just shows more than anything you arent thinking clearly. As if any alpha male would show their ex gf a pick up forum to prove how much of a bitch they are being.
11-20-2010, 11:40 AM #3
- Join Date
- May 2010
Im in the same position. I honestly came to believe that there is a cycle to oneitis. For example, about 4 months ago I would say I was completely over my ex. However, the longer time passes and the longer I don't find someone that is better then her, the more I seem to revert to oneitis. This gives someone, like my ex and your ex immense power. This is what's happening now. She is probably over you or at least her feelings for you are not what they used to be. You have been broken up for a year right? If she wanted to get back together with you she would have done so already.... Cut contact. You will never be able to get back together right now just as I know I won't be able to get back together with my ex. There is just way too much emotion there.
My plan is to basically try to force myself to date someone else and to start feeling better about myself. After another relationship, graduate from grad school and just general time i'll re-evaluate my situation. Just think about it like this. Even in 5 years, if you call her she'l probably go out to lunch with you. Work some game, appeal to her emotions and it's really not that hard. Even if she's dating someone else, you can probably bounce the guy with some solid game.
11-20-2010, 11:42 AM #4
Now if I could cut off the Oneitis part from all this, I would have done so. I've deleted her from my phone and my facebook to no avail. I've given up drinking and I've given up smoking habits - two HUGE addictions in my life. One of it has caused my father recent heart attacks and strokes. She's imperious to my efforts. I work hard in forgetting her and pray that I will move far away by next year.
11-20-2010, 12:08 PM #5
I absolutely agree that if we can't find someone, or find some experience with someone better than our former Oneitis than we will have a hard time moving on.
It was SDnightfly who said that when I first came on this forum to ask for advice to forget my Oneitis. I just honestly have not been able to find a better replacement situation.
I have been through the roughest days of my life in college and she was there for me through it all. I have gotten myself in deep troubles. Have you ever been in such a life threatening situation that all you could do was anticipate the doom day of your existence and you thought that was just being realistic? Many people who I thought were my friends abandoned me. My family couldn't help me. But she didn't care what happened and moved me through it all. My life would have been bitter as hell without her. I really lucked out. My positive thinking thanks to her paid off and I dodged a huge bullet.
I honestly don't know if I will ever be in those situations again in this life. I know for certain that I will avoid them as much as I can. But it is unfair to all the women I meet that will not get the same chance to prove themselves if that is really the dumb reason that will prevent me from loving them and having a healthy relationship.
She also has a valid reason to distrust me... I know no matter how much she cares for me she will always be held back. While putting my life together to make sure I never fall into that part of my life again, I disappeared from her and everyone. As long as I was attached to the past, I couldn't end the cycle. Unfortunately her sister died during the time... my will power was so strong to resist temptations because I knew if I went back to town then to comfort her, I would have had the chance to be with her but at the cost of reverting back to all I worked on. Many women have called me an evil asshole for this... but I gave up a very important part of my life (her) at that moment for a greater cause. I chose this for myself. Oneitising is a small punishment in comparison to giving up my life.
Oh I just want to say best of luck to you. I just remembered you said you were in the same situation. Oneitis is one of the most deadly diseases in the seduction world besides AIDS.
Last edited by Drunktext; 11-20-2010 at 12:34 PM. Reason: I'm oddly OCD and like to add last minute detail
11-20-2010, 03:30 PM #6
Looks like I will be taking the non game approach to this afterall. It's looking good.
After asking me to prove my feelings to her last night and that I wasn't drunk, she is warming up to me this morning after I explained to her my reasoning for texting that late and that I wasn't drunk. It was cute because she waited for about 5 hours before texting me back with her girl game. These are the best responses I've received from her all year. She just wanted to see how far I was willing to go for her.
11-20-2010, 06:10 PM #7
- Join Date
- Sep 2009
- Sydney, Australia
mate, i really feel for you, as clearly your head is fucked up with this girl. but seriously, you need to get yourself together right now. now ! enough already! some of the stuff your coming out with is borderline embaressing (not being harsh, we've all been there). i'm sure she was a tidy girl, but this is really some unhealthy shit you're dealing out.
it's a PUA cliche, but if you've got oneitess you really need to get out there and fuck three other girls ASAP. just do it. dont think too much, just do it. it will help. we've all been there, but you need to get the fuck out of this mode as soon as humanly possible.
11-20-2010, 06:38 PM #8
My head was so fucked up with Oneitis this past two weeks I agree. The more I fought with it the more I was getting buried in the quicksand. I gave into it yesterday and I feel great today.
Fucking girls doesn't do anything to my oneitis thoughts. It's big a myth that having sex will cure oneitis. All it does is give you a chance of breaking your condom, getting diseases besides oneitis and the girl pregnant which I have not. Oh and it's bomb when you can find a woman who can fit your whole penis in her mouth and licks your butthole AND she looks like your elementary school teacher. Also you accumulate a lot of unwanted girls on your facebook who ask "How are you? Do you remember? When are we hanging out?" I thought they were DHV on my facebook for commenting all the time but they don't always make appropriate ones and I have a lot of little cousisns who aren't over 18 and kids who want to befriend me from church. I need to grow up and keep stuff like that under the table but I digress.
When I started working with supermodels recently I got my mind off of my Oneitis briefly. I'm going to be honest though. Even though the rate at which I started talking to supermodels was extremely rapid compared to most guys on this board because I worked in an industry that supported that plus I built up my confidence way over my head... it's going to take me a couple more months before I will date a supermodel.
It's not like I'm not dating or screwing other girls right now . I just can't stop thinking of my Oneitis. I have stopped going out and wasting my time at bars and nightclubs. It was a waste of gas money and health staying out late. I WILL be continuing my lessons to pick up elite HB20s until I date one. If she wants to fuck guys on the side that's fine with me too =).
Oh and Oneitis said yes when I asked her to be my girl tonight.
11-21-2010, 03:53 AM #9
- Join Date
- Sep 2009
- Sydney, Australia
fair play to you. maybe you're viewing all other women as being other in themselves, external and somehow beyond comparisson with your oneitis. objectively what your describing doesnt sound like a healthy mindset, but then thats what onetitis is. by definition it fucks you up. but if you're feeling like indulging it at the moment, then fine, be with it. accept that it's here now, but in time, like all things, it will pass.
sometimes we can hold on a little too closely to supposed PU logic, if you feel like being hooked and under the sway and whim of this chick then, fine, be in that place. but you should also realise (and you seem a bright guy, so i'm sure you do) that she currently holds a lot of power over you.
11-21-2010, 05:35 AM #10
maybe there's just some girls who we connect better with
and they will always stay with us in some way.
Instead of fighting yourself / hating yourself for feeling connected to your ex-gf, maybe just accept that you will always feel connected to her in some way, and that there will always be some emotional connection.
It's up to you how you're going to deal with it,
it seems to me that you're willingly putting yourself in situations where you know you are going to get dragged back into an emotional scenario.
maybe this is just what u want bro , u know the advice that everyone is going to give you, it's all the same advice that you've heard before.
it's your life. If you want to be with this girl, then go for it.
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