10 Secrets to a Successful Approach
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  1. #1
    Join Date
    Nov 2005
    Los Angeles, California

    10 Secrets to a Successful Approach

    (Adapted from my post in the "dating advice" section of the Love Systems website - original here - http://www.lovesystems.com/dating-ad...ssful-approach)

    You see someone you're interested in. You don’t know her. You have no “excuse” to talk to her. Can you walk up to her and start a conversation – the kind of conversation that’s going to get you the girl?

    This is a skill any man can master. And one no man can afford to ignore – if you can’t comfortably talk to strangers, you’ve excluded 99.9% of the woman whose path you’re going to cross in life.

    So if you’re not approaching SUCCESSFULLY and CONSISTENTLY, then I want you to follow me here. It won’t cost you a cent. Just print out this list of 10 things, keep it with you, and read it every time you’re out somewhere where there are beautiful women. Master these and your life WILL change.

    1. Do “warm up sets” before you get to the bar/club/party/park. Somewhere nearby, do a few approaches that “don’t count” until you’re in a talkative, social state of mind. The world’s best pick up artists do this.

    2. Be “social” not a “shark”. The guy who walks into a bar, circles around a few times, and then gets the courage to approach women one by one is going home alone. Women KNOW this type. Talk socially to everyone and have fun – you’re not a starving hunter desperate for a meal.

    3. Smile. That one’s easy.

    4. Have a couple of “go-to” openers – things you can say to start a conversation that you KNOW will work. You don’t need 50, 500, or 500. 3 or 4 is just fine. Pick a couple you like from the Love Systems Routines Manual – it’s 200 pages of guaranteed ‘things to say’ from approaching to seduction that actual top pickup artists use in their personal life.

    5. Approach right away. Once she notices you looking (she will -- women have eyes in the back of their head), you’re either going to be “confident” or “creepy”. So be confident and approach.

    [More advanced guys can play the eye contact game, but if you’re having trouble successfully starting a conversation 99% of the time, keep it simple]

    6. Use relaxed, confident body language. Get your wingman to watch you and critique. For a complete video course with live examples (including using body language to escalate physically), there’s nothing better than the Beyond Words Home Study Course featuring Cajun and Vercetti.

    7. It doesn’t matter who she is with. Attractive women rarely do things alone. So get used to the idea that you’re going to have to meet the people she is with at the same time as you meet her. (Day Game is sometimes an exception to this). Whether her friends are male or female, approach anyway. If she’s off-limits, they’ll tell you. We don’t have space to go into this in detail here, but women who have guys in their group are more likely to have a same-night encounter anyway.

    8. Eye contact. There’s another easy one. Split it equally among everyone in her group.

    9. Project your voice. OK, I’m not a successful Shakespearean actor like Daniel Vercetti – he could give you the drills that the professionals use. Here’s what I did when I had to learn this…before there even was a Love Systems: Put your hand on your chest, just below your pectorals. Experiment with your voice until you can feel vibrations in your hand. That’s the way you want to talk. Be too loud rather than too quiet.

    10. Tell them you know Nick Savoy. OK, not really. But have something to say – you’re going to have to 90% of the talking at first. Don’t keep talking about whatever your opener was about. When she starts breaking into the conversation, asking your name, where you’re from, what you do for a living – that’s when you know she’s attracted.

    Love Systems President, Program Leader

    1 - Read the Magic Bullets Handbook - it's the bible of the Love Systems community, answers 90% of the questions here, and saves you years of time re-inventing the wheel.
    2 - Follow me on The Real Savoy Blog, or my twitter account. And friend me on Facebook for exclusive dating advice I don't post anywhere else.

  2. #2

    I actually have done a number of these things consciously all the time, so these aren't just the kind of tips you read understand and forget. People should actually do these, they do work.

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Jul 2009
    North Carolina

    3. Smile. That one’s easy.
    I gotta disagree with this one - I'm fighting a life time of never smiling. I have to pay my wings whenever they see me approach without smiling. Although I notice a BIG difference in how women respond to me when I consciously smile and make strong eye contact.

  4. Very useful, thank you!!!

  5. #5

    It's not that easy. You have to read the manual with 200 pages. LOL

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Jul 2011
    Miami, Florida / Huntsville, Alabama

    For number 7, that's why you have a wingman

  7. #7

    good idea........

  8. Very useful but I am not comfortable with point number 2, do you mean I approach multiple women?

  9. #9


    While this was really great information. I would like to add my .02 from the field.

    1. Warming up. While I agree warming up is good, but I think "always ready" is better. I was getting my car fixed and I took it in early in the morning just expecting a drop off and get out but then in the waiting area I saw this bird that looked really fit and even though I wasn't "hunting" this was an easy target. So, I sat down and said, "how long are you in for? She said something. And she was nice and asked how long was I going to to be in for? And I said, "25 to life I think" and shrugged. She laughed and it was off to the races. My thinking is, if you're at home with the kicks off then you can be off. But if you're outside then you're on. Always be on.

    2. Be Social - OMG this should be screamed at any guy who doesn't get it. Hitting on every bird that stands next to you to order a drink is creepy. Meet and greet like you own the place. Don't be shy or intimidated about it. And here's the key, don't walk up to your target right away. When you're making your rounds to her, during the height of the conversation and when everyone is laughing at your table, throw an eye over to her. Let her see how much fun you're having. This is more powerful than social proof or having a wingman because it says you're confident, you're a man and you can hold a crowd.

    3. Yes. Don't forget to smile dummy.

    4. There's plenty of stuff on here and books and tapes to go as far as you want to go with this. But nothing will work unless you're out there doing it.

    5. Approach right away if you're doing a day move or an off the street pick up. If you don't approach within two minutes of you both seeing each other -- forget it because you busted your wad by waiting to long and you'll look like a creep.

    6. Mirror mirror mirror (but do it in a relaxed natural way -- and don't let her catch you doing it because then you've busted your wad). Match her breathing, feel what she is feeling. Put yourself in her shoes and then reverse it. Control her using your body language and posture.

    7. Expect male and female cockblocks (especially males). Beautiful women always have hanger ons, who want to get with them or want to be them (if they're female) and you bullying in on their fantasy isn't going to sit well with them. But be kind to them (remember you were once like them). Engage everyone in the group, but make sure your target gets a clear signal that she's on deck and you both got something going on.

    8. Yes give everyone equal eye contact. But look deeper into your target's eyes and linger a little longer coming off the gaze. Like you're both almost reluctant to take your eyes off each other.

    9. Yes it's better to speak a little louder than a little softer. Donald Trump always sounds like he's yelling but it projects confidence.

    10. Be the most interesting man in the world. Have a story -- OMG women love stories, especially good ones. Have a couple of stories in your pocket that will keep them in the palm of your hands while you speak.

    That's just my extra .02 to add to this great post.

    Good luck out there.

  10. #10
    Join Date
    Mar 2006
    Arlington, TX

    I swear I do all of them, but somehow forget smile. Or the smile comes out more like a face of fear.

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