Meeting The Parents

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  1. Meeting The Parents

    Alright, here's my new situation.
    Going out with an HB9 next week. Parents don't want her dating, so I'm going to her place for an hour or so to meet the dad and then we're gonna take off from there.
    Simple enough, right? Well, dad's ex-army, hardass, and carries a gun around in his pocket.
    Obvious points for the hour that I'm there are:
    Shake his hand firmly
    No kino around him
    Act like HB and I are best friends
    I'm sure he's going to sense any BS I pull, so gotta try to win him over so he won't see me as a threat leaving with his daughter.
    Sounds hard, but I'm up for the challenge. Any words of advice before I head off to my funeral?
    Thanks guys,

  2. #2

    Grab her ass around him. Then hint at further action with her when the two of you are across the room from him. It will make her giggle and think you are a badass. He will hate you but it will pull her towards you if he is a hardass strict father.
    Fuck it, do whatever.

  3. Just be courtous, polite and respectful or in otherwords, be a gentleman. You want to show her father that you are honorable and a man of character - the kind of guy who will be an inspiration for his daughter and will show her the good side of dating.
    I'm sure you may have seen this one already but there are some grains of truth in it too.
    • Rule One: If you pull into my driveway and honk you'd better be delivering a package, because you're sure as heck not picking anything up.
    • Rule Two: You do not touch my daughter in front of me. You may glance at her, so long as you do not peer at anything below her neck. If you cannot keep your eyes or hands off of my daughter's body, I will remove them.
    • Rule Three: I am aware that it is considered fashionable for boys of your age to wear their trousers so loosely that they appear to be falling off their hips. Please don't take this as an insult, but you and all of your friends are complete idiots. Still, I want to be fair and open minded about this issue, so I propose this compromise: You may come to the door with your underwear showing and your pants ten sizes too big, and I will not object. However, in order to assure that your clothes do not, in fact, come off during the course of your date with my daughter, I will take my electric staple gun and fasten your trousers securely in place around your waist.
    • Rule Four: I'm sure you've been told that in today's world, sex without utilizing a "barrier method" of some kind can kill you. Let me elaborate: when it comes to sex, I am the barrier, and I WILL kill you.
    • Rule Five: In order for us to get to know each other, we should talk about sports, politics, and other issues of the day. Please do not do this. The only information I require from you is an indication of when you expect to have my daughter safely back at my house, and the only word I need from you on this subject is "early."
    • Rule Six: I have no doubt you are a popular fellow, with many opportunities to date other girls. This is fine with me as long as it is okay with my daughter. Otherwise, once you have gone out with my little girl, you will continue to date no one but her until she is finished with you. If you make her cry, I will make you cry.
    • Rule Seven: As you stand in my front hallway, waiting for my daughter to appear, and more than an hour goes by, do not sigh and fidget. If you want to be on time for the movie, you should not be dating. My daughter is putting on her makeup, a process which can take longer than painting the Golden Gate Bridge. Instead of just standing there, why don't you do something useful, like changing the oil in my car?
    • Rule Eight: The following places are not appropriate for a date with my daughter: Places where there are beds, sofas, or anything softer than a wooden stool. Places lacking parents, policemen, or nuns. Places where there is darkness. Places where there is dancing, holding hands, or happiness. Places where the ambient temperature is warm enough to induce my daughter to wear shorts, tank tops, midriff T-shirts, or anything other than overalls, a sweater, and a goose down parka zipped up to her chin. Movies with a strong romantic or sexual theme are to be avoided; movies which feature chainsaws are okay. Hockey games are okay.
    good luck

  4. That's hilarious.

  5. #5
    Join Date
    May 2006

    Act like normal. All the guys before you, must have been really scared of the father and were probebly shakin like nervous. Hug her, kiss her chin. Do the stuff he wouldn't think you dare. Then he realises you're a man.

  6. #6
    Join Date
    May 2006
    Dubai - United Arab Emirates

    The amog holds the gun

    you have to bear in mind this is difficult for her farther. seeing you puts the image of you fucking her daughter...its not right is it! from changing her nappies to having to deal with you putting your dick inside her. id want to put you in the ground too.
    the key is not to come across a dick.
    be vigilante about what you do. demonstrate value about yourself, that tells him your a down to earth guy. talk about your asperations in life. dont say you want to be an 'astronaught' also dont say you want to be in the 'army,' he'll just tool you for it.
    say please and thank you. dont sit down unless he tells you too. let him be the amog. dont amog him for fuck sake...he holds the gun!
    i got on with my ex's dad by finding out about what he enjoyed...then reading up about it. he liked football and gardneing. i hate football, its for pussys. and gardening is for....the simpsons neightbours! anyways, i got us into conversation about business, talked about where i wanted to be going in the future, where he wants to be in hte future...then onto hobbies. i actually told him i dislike football and not really been into gardneing. however i do appreciate nature. i used the background id read up about gardening and from the sports on cnn. it went down well because i was honest about it, in the fact that i didnt enjoy what he did. which i think he respected, and consequently thought higher of me as a result. after the eyes of parents, the kids whom try to fit in and get people to like them too much are the ones taking drugs!
    obviously all of this 'reasherch' was so jsut so that i could pump the fuck out of her daughter for longer! she was special though, honest!
    hope you dont get shot son.

  7. This will work

    Yeah its me again. Okay the original idea i gave you for meeting the folks was a little crazy (pretending to be queer) I would not do it myself. Heres something really fun you can do that I've done, its great. Tell her in advance that you're going to act in a way that makes her parents think you're totally innocent too. Then what you do is you wear a sweater that makes you look non threatening (ironically i lost this sweater in the girls bedroom ) and you go in with the attitude that you're there to see your pal. When the parents ask you stuff about yourself blatantly lie (with a straight face, if you can) to make yourself seem like more and more of a nerd. The idea is that she'll find this hilarious because she knows you're a real badass and that these lies are totally ridiculous and you're just putting on a show, while her parents are thinking "phew, theres no way she's actually dating this guy." You shouldn't act intimidated or even particuarly respectful of the father, just be really friendly. Say you're meeting up with some other friends too, make these people up so this can't be confirmed. As you walk out the door say you'll make sure she doesn't get in any trouble. Once you leave they'll be so relieved and happy shes out with you, instead of a guy who could fuck her. But when you get outside, you throw off the sweater revieling (in my case) a Jack Daniels shirt, grab her and kiss her (if you already have kissed her in the past) outside her house before you've even really said anything to eachother, then jump in your car and light a cigarette and roar off to whatever place you've decided to go with her. This already is a story she'll want to tell all her friends for the following week. Play your cards right and it'll be a story she'll want to tell for the following year.
    Remember: to her dad you're: Smart, Charming and Dickless. Thats the guy every father wants her daughter out with. Have fun with the lies though, people in general assume you're telling the truth, and when I did this Vegas, my girl could hardly control herself from bursting out laughing, she literally had to excuse herself to the bathroom just to laugh at all my crazy lies. So yeah, you're the president of the chess club. You founded ancient greek club. You're training to play professional badmitton. You scored 2380 on your SATs. You're trying to make prom this year be star wars themed. You get the picture here? (of course this works much better if the girl already knows you well enough to know you're actually an awesome guy)

  8. #8
    Join Date
    Dec 2005
    Sydney, Australia

    Listen you want to meet the parents...if you dont...and you still meet them...your entering her might as well cut off your balls and give one to her and the other to her father....
    Hold your frame....YOUR FRAME.
    Dont get me wrong...meeting the parents is a good thing especially for the girl that you really like....but do it by your terms not hers.

  9. i agree with malibu
    enter it under your terms.
    my first serious girlfriend, i met her parents AND her grandparents... with a 6 inch mohawk and a torn up t shirt.
    after the relationship ended, they kept pushing her to make the peace with me to get back with me etc...
    be the man. your alpha, with respect to her dads alpha-ness. don't supplicate, because he'll lose respect too. don't expect him to supplicate either.

  10. #10
    Join Date
    Mar 2006
    Sasebo, Japan

    Hah, you got it easy, man. I have yet to meet my girl's 'rents. They've never uttered a word of english in their lives, and I hear they're not too fond of americans....
    But then again, they don't have guns, either.
    Don't let the fact that he's ex-army psyche you out. Most military guys are just like anyone else, they leave work at work. Trust me, we hate our jobs more than anyone, and we can't quit


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