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09-21-2010, 09:17 AM #1
- Join Date
- Sep 2007
I have been with this girl for 2 weeks now. She is very controlling in bed which is cool, since i let her be. Outside of bed, there is a parrarlel. She is very sweet, and very much in command. I find myself with too much space and I start saying stupid things and acting so comfortable that I act silly around her. I feel like I can say anything which is cool I guess. I feel I am slipping badly and most importantly feel my behavior isn't attractive, it is DLV. I can't seem to help it with her. She cuts me too much slack.
She makes me feel like a child, and I act like one.
She just got out of a similar relationship where the many she dated wasn't so much of a man. From the sounds of it, he borrowed a bunch of money (5000) and has been crying on the phone to her trying to get her back. She said he acted like a child in the relationship and she like his mommy. And now I am feeling like I am doing the same.
Can anyone shed some light on what is happening here? This girl is very sweet and very easy to get along with and takes care of me in all ways. Honestly, I don't feel allot of attraction to her at this point, but she is so nice, I am staying and hoping it gets there.
09-22-2010, 04:38 AM #2
- Join Date
- Jul 2010
first of all it's very helpful that you've already come to this insight by yourself.
i can understand your situation, it's seductive to let oneself go if s/o doesn't react on it and makes you to get yourself together.
now: since you already know what the problem is - just make the next step and solve it.
read some inner game 101's and remember that youre a man.
some points which are coming to my mind spontaneously:
-be the cause instead of the effect
-be the tower of strenght; calm, responsible, unresponsive to challenges
-be the point of energy in her life
towards the last point: i made the experience that, the more energy i give, the more i develop. in contrast to that; the more i take from others the less i develop.
it's all on you. good luck!
09-22-2010, 08:05 PM #3
- Join Date
- Jul 2006
How old is she?
Actually the question is why are you allowing yourself to act more immature than you have with other women, and why does she feel she has to take the role of the responsible, mature one?
This isn't a relationship yet, this is just about fun, fantasy, and getting to be more comfortable with each other. Don't let her take complete control of you in and out of the bedroom.
As much as you like to submit to her, you should also dominate her in the bedroom. Get into her head on what kind of fantasies she has, are they ones where she likes to be the one in control, or does she have ones where guys overpower her? Usually I associate sweet and easygoing with being submissive. She has to have a dark side sexually, even though she's prob. not going to tell you right off the bat.
If you are silly, that's who you are and that's part of what she's attracted to. This other guy might have similar qualities, but as soon as he crossed the line with his word (not paying her back and making excuses), he didn't matter to her anymore. I think she's the type of person who might be sweet and nice, but she prob. values someone's word highly. So don't break your word to her, don't make promises you can't keep.
The biggest down side to this is that if you are too close to what her ex is like, she's going to compare the both of you.
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