Not Progressing

Thread: Not Progressing

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  1. Not Progressing

    I've been reading community stuff for ages. Probably 5 years now. However my success has been dismal, I still suffer from massive approach anxiety. I think I've read too much pua stuff and now fail to apply most of it.

    I keep finding that girls don't want to meet up with me. After getting blown off so many times I almost cringe before picking up the phone to call a girl I just met, usually I just text now and it goes no where. This is really affecting my enthusiasm, I won't even persist on a number anymore because it feels like a waste of time.

    This makes me sound like a loser but I think I'm a pretty decent guy. I have tons of awesome friends (all guys) who party a lot and screw hot girls. I'm in great shape, I'm over educated, I have a great job, come from a very successful family. But I've always been shy around girls. I find that if I'm forced to talk and interact with a girl. For instance, living or working together my odds are much better.

    I've struggled more with the bar scene. I've only had a few successes when I have sex with the girl right away. Then everything seems to go better.

    I run out of stuff to talk to a lot. Maybe I need to actually memorize some routines.

    Fundamentally, I find it annoying that I have to do all this pua bs just to get a girl to like me. Why doesn't she just like me for who I am? I know what you're all going to say. But seriously, why is it that a girl won't give two shits about me then as soon as she sees me with a hot girl she's suddenly all over me. What the hell. Or acting like a asshole with cocky funny and suddenly she's attracted. This shit is soo fucking superficial! And unfortunately it's making me bitter towards women. I feel really turned off when a girl is making me qualify myself or brushing me off when she has nothing except a decent body. These are girls that I'd never be friends with if they were guys. They have shitty jobs, or have no idea what they want to do with their lives.

    Oh and I haven't had sex in a year. So I'm at a bit of a low point right now.

    Really would appreciate some advice. I feel like I need to go back to the basics.



  2. #2
    Join Date
    Nov 2009
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    Newcastle, Australia
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    Stop reading... I mean it. Stop right now and don't return until you have ten phone numbers or have had three K-closes..

  3. #3
    Join Date
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    How often do you actually go out and practise this stuff? And how many sets per night are you doing then? It takes some time to get comfortable with approaching women. You can't expect to get rid of your AA or get it to controllable levels if you only go out once per week and approach one girl.

    Do you have an idea about how many approaches you have done so far? You can't expect to have it all mastered with only doing a few approaches. I now have done about 260 approaches and I still haven't got any "real" results. Sure i've got nr closes but most of those are flakey. I do see some progress in my game albeit pretty slowly. Now i seem to be able to get a nr close every 8 approaches or so. It would probably be a bit more if I was pushing for the nr but i'm focusing on physical escalation right now. Point is, it takes time and consistent practise. I do about 10 sets per week, sometimes more, it's certainly not ideal, i'd recommend 20 (or more) if you have the time. But try to stay above 10. Slowly you will see some progress. Be a persistent motherfucker about it. There is no alternative. The world is not fair but it is what it is.

    If it's making you bitter towards women by how they are, realize that they can't really help it, they're hardwired like that. Just the same as we are hardwired to be turned on by feminine beauty. Also realize that once you're past a certain barrier they can be really really sweet.

    Hope this helps.
    [QUOTE]For everyone who has will be given more, and he will have an abundance. Whoever does not have, even what he has will be taken from him.[/QUOTE]
    Matthew 25:29

  4. #4

    Stop reading the material right now, go out and just do approaches, nothing else, and don't expect anything either. The material should just be a vehicle to convey your personality.
    If you have to read material, stick to one set of material, i.e Magic Bullets, Style's Annihilation Method, etc.
    Due to your AA, I'd strongly advise indirect approaching, and approaching alone and don't expect anything else from it.
    I've been doing this for a couple of months, and I have some fairly bad AA, but the 3-second rule is there for a reason, it gets easier if you just think, 'F**k it'.
    What's the worst that can happen when you approach, they tell you to go away, THAT'S IT. (well as long as you're not rude)

    So, just go out and do approaches with the mind set of, 'what the hell' and as soon as you can approach confidently, then move onto the next step.

  5. Quote Originally Posted by slimrazor View Post
    Fundamentally, I find it annoying that I have to do all this pua bs just to get a girl to like me. Why doesn't she just like me for who I am? I know what you're all going to say. But seriously, why is it that a girl won't give two shits about me then as soon as she sees me with a hot girl she's suddenly all over me. What the hell. Or acting like a asshole with cocky funny and suddenly she's attracted. This shit is soo fucking superficial! And unfortunately it's making me bitter towards women. I feel really turned off when a girl is making me qualify myself or brushing me off when she has nothing except a decent body. These are girls that I'd never be friends with if they were guys. They have shitty jobs, or have no idea what they want to do with their lives.
    In response to this, girls actually are interested in who you are (most of the time, given that you do have some natural value, which you clearly do). The pick up strategies are not to make you ditch your personality; in fact, it's to convey your personality (identity) in such a way that's appealing to women. For example, you may be GREAT at something and that's all you want to talk about because that's who you are.. shouldn't girls appreciate that? They should, but they won't because they want a man who is, yes, passionate, but also has diverse interests. The fundamentals of pick up (using DHV stories to hit different attraction switches) are meant to convey your identity in such a way that she is receptive to what you say. If you go out and say it (even though that's who you are, right?), it may come off as bragging (among other things, like needy), and she will not be receptive to that. Pick up strategies helps make the target receptive to who you are.

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Dec 2006
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    Quote Originally Posted by slimrazor View Post

    I'm over educated

    I run out of stuff to talk to a lot. Maybe I need to actually memorize some routines.
    What exactly is "over educated" and why can't you think of anything to talk about?

    You're probably overthinking the entire process instead of actually putting it into practice

  7. #7
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    I used to have this all the time. Just do the approach anyway and try to stay in set even if you don't know what to say. Say anything. You will train your mind to improvise and to play short on the ball. Now I rarely don't know what to say. And sure use a routine or two. But don't overuse them or you'll come across as weird.
    [QUOTE]For everyone who has will be given more, and he will have an abundance. Whoever does not have, even what he has will be taken from him.[/QUOTE]
    Matthew 25:29

  8. #8

    Sounds to me like you have little to no field experience.. this is not something you can just study like school and do well on an exam when tested.

    You need a solid wing and to get out there and make some approaches.. get shot down and figure out where you are making mistakes. Make changes and move forward again.

  9. #9

    I would feel sorry for you but...

    Quote Originally Posted by slimrazor View Post
    I have tons of awesome friends (all guys) who party a lot and screw hot girls. I'm in great shape, I'm over educated, I have a great job, come from a very successful family. But I've always been shy around girls. I find that if I'm forced to talk and interact with a girl. For instance, living or working together my odds are much better.
    I am jealous that everything else is working out for you so (Nelson Muntz voice) "haw-haw"!

    Seriously though, I know what you are going through - no progression wise. I have been in this PUA scene for ages. My GF is on her 2nd LTR since we broke up last year and I have been single throughout that year.

    I've given up studying PUA stuff now. I am not even enthusiastic about going clubs to meet girls as much as I was say 5 months back when I was out Fri, Sat and on some occasions Sun.

    I still peacock and go out if invited. I approach girls but I really am not after much more than conversation now (even that's hard with some of these London bitches). I am still disappointed when I attract and banter and get no result, but I am too busy to need a GF anyway. I want my own business and am writing a business plan; I am translating PU material; and I am "studying" Male Multiple Orgasm/KSMO/Aneros, which is easier to learn when single (although is best later enjoyed with a GF). So fuck them coz I am really busy with life right now. They're missing out on me!

    Oddly, now that I've kinda put PU to one side, I apply it less "textbookily". Not so "now kino to build comfort, now this, now that". I just go like: "we're talking, I'm touchyfeely, that's just me *kino, hug* ". lol.

  10. #10
    Join Date
    Jan 2010
    Gender:
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    28
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    45

    bootcamp?

    try a bootcamp or a day game workshop or something of that nature...you might be having a huge hole in your game that maybe you are overlooking? either way, those things are moto as hell, so if your in a rut and haven't taken one, doesn't seem like a bad idea

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