Flaky girl wants to hang out
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  1. Flaky girl wants to hang out

    Hi guys,

    I would really appreciate your feedback on this.
    I met this girl on the bus station. She's really cool: hot, smart, etc. She's girlfriend material, but that's not what I'm looking for right now.
    Anyway, I took her out on a first date to the beach. It was cool, she's definitely attracted. I went for the kiss though, and she turned her head away (possibly her first date "rules"). In between we chatted a lot on facebook, and we were totally vibing.
    So I took her out the second time and she canceled at the last minute (something happened, it may be legit). When she texted me I was already there and was kinda angry. So I texted her back "get your ass over here" or something like that. When she said she couldn't I told her that it's very bad behavior and her last bf didn't spank her enough. I didn't really know how to deal with it, but I didn't want to project any wussiness.
    Anyway, today we were supposed to meet and she couldn't make it again (this time I stayed home though, and wanted to tell her to come her and then we'll go out).
    I sent her a text message today. No answer. I called her. Still no answer. Called her again after a couple of hours. No answer.
    She sent me a text later saying that she's sorry and we can meet on Thursday if I can make it.
    So the first thing I did was calling another girl and telling her to come her so I can fuck her.
    Second thing is setting a date with another girl on Thursday.

    I know this is really a damage-control situation, but I'm wondering if I can fix this. It seems this girl wants to date me, but my recent actions lowered my value.
    I usually come off as a really really high-value person initially, because I've got some things going for me that I accomplished on my own. Problem is when it comes to setting up dating, I'm trying to find the right behavior.

    Thanks for reading,

  2. One thing I forgot to mention, after the first time she didn't show up, we were chatting on facebook and I told her: "now it's the part when you apologize and explain what happened".
    And I told her that I need to decide whether I wanna she her again or not.
    And then she didn't show up again

  3. Its probably a lost cause.

    Its a very basic rule: when you get flaked on, you do nothing. Act like its no big deal. Especially don't make an angry response. That's super low value.

    And don't make excuses. First date rules? That's an excuse.

    EDIT: Should also add that your FB chat line--unless given in the proper, playful matter which I'm guessing it wasn't--just comes off as incredibly dickish/insecure.

    Remember? You're a bad ass. Who cares if she doesn't show up for a date. Oh well, another couple of hours you could've spent doing a million interesting/cool things.

    EDIT 2: One last thought: Not saying that you should say, "Its ok. Ill agree to meet you again (and again and again as she consistently flakes)." Just ignore her after the first flake or two (depending on how bad you want her) and if she contacts you asking you why, say something about how your time is valuable and you can't be around people who will waste it.

  4. Thanks for the swift reply.

    Our date was at a big shopping mall. so I told her: "yeah, I did some shopping that I needed to do anyway".
    But if I'm already there, ignoring the fact that she didn't come would be super low value. Precisely because my time is valuable and she can't be late, much less not show up. This is the logic behind my text.

    So yeah, I'm going to ignore her for a couple of days and see how that goes.

  5. #5

    You already lost. Roissy made a post a few days ago that says if a girl flakes/cancels on you and doesn't offer up any additional plans (or provides a REALLY good reason), she is rejecting you. And in my experience, this is pretty accurate. If she wants to see you, she'll see you. It's obvious that this girl doesn't want to see you. Ignoring her won't do anything since you've only been out once and she doesn't like you anyway, so she'll just forget about you.

  6. It's cool that you mention other people's post, but maybe you should have read my post more carefully.
    The girl did offer additional plans for Thursday. After I got her message about it I scheduled a date with another girl for Thursday. Now I truly am busy

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