My cocky funny PoF profile
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  1. #1

    My cocky funny PoF profile

    Piracy rabble rousing bars and clubs
    midget porn

    About Me
    Arrrrrghhh, I was born a Pirate on the high seas. Traveling the globe in search of booty I have sunken many a maiden vessel. I specialize in buried treasure, Rum, and making all the scalawags walk to plank. If your interested in the high seas I am the irate pirate that you'd be looking for... Moreover If you actually took any of this seriously you should probably consider getting mental help immediately, if you are actually a pirate (you're already a winner in my book)... teach me your ways! And if you picked up on the over abundance of sexual innuendo you would definitely be the type of person that I could be going for! I mean lets face it, Traveling the globe in search of "booty", and sinking vessels on their "maiden voyage", who do I look like Johnny mother****ing Depp? The truth is I am probably here for the same reasons you are. No I'm not here looking for love and marriage... if you are you're a desperate stalker who will do just about anything to get a ring on the finger! The fact is I'm here to see how big of an ass I can make of myself and have some fun while I'm at it. With that said, if I come off as an ass I probably should... and if I say something completely random to you that comes straight out of left field, it's probably me screwing around with you. Please by all means take everything I say seriously. However if I come off as an ass who happens to be quirky, funny, and down right stunning... you'd probably be correct on pretty much all accounts. I mean how many pirates have you met on plenty-of-fish lately? If you message me and I like you, I would love to adopt you as my little sister so we could climb trees, drink kool-aid, and eat Flintstones push-pops. *special thanks to Cajun, one of my favorite lines.

    I think the infamous/famous Ari Golden really says it best.. "1) So 2am last night my phones buzzes from a girl asking me to come over. I called her to get directions (only met her 1 time at the bar for 15 mins) & she was hesitant because she was worried what her friends might think if she hooked up with “a guy like me”. And I was like, A GUY LIKE ME! I told her if anything she should go brag that she hooked up w/ a guy like me! 2) I am good looking, successful, funny, athletic, smart, & great in bed. I asked her how that stacked up against the guys who have been in her warm hole in the past. She got quiet because like most of you girls many of your ex’s are LOSERS! Bartenders, guys working in cubicles, pre-ejaculators. You should feel lucky if I let... you lay on your back for me & then put my picture on your desk & brag you had one of the best of all time!" *This dude gets more hot chicks then anyone I have ever heard of.

    First Date
    First we would chat with Captain Pegleg Pete, upon getting permission to board his ship we would have a nice dinner overlooking the shark infested waters below. We would then leave and allow the Pegleg Jack to continue with his raid on a small Fishing Village. We would drive to a few of the local drinking establishments, get tipsy but not trashed, I refuse to have you puking on my car, bed, couch, or anywhere for that matter later in the night. After drinks we would retire back to my place, hang out, and maybe catch a cinematic adventure before I fall asleep, I need my rest, being this unbelievably ridiculous doesn't just happen on 3 hours sleep.

    What do you think? Too over the top or just enough ridiculousness, and cocky funny to be intriguing and interesting.

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Jun 2009
    Portland, OR; Columbus, OH; Asheville, NC

    Make it more readable and someone might actually read it. Break up the text, maybe shorten it depending.

  3. #3

    Quote Originally Posted by YouWish99 View Post
    Make it more readable and someone might actually read it. Break up the text, maybe shorten it depending.
    I agree I actually broke the top portion into two. So far so good, 2 emails since I have updated. I sent 40 or so messages out as well and have about a 50% success rate with those that I have opened so far.

    The message I sent was:

    So, this is probably that part where I make myself look like every other dude here on PoF by messaging you with something ridiculously boring like “Hey you are hot what is up? Message me back please!”, or try and win you over by telling you how I think you are the hottest chick I’ve ever seen... Chances are, if you were, you probably wouldn’t be on plenty of fish and instead would be dressed all scantily clad with a pair of angel wings walking runways in New York and LA. However with that being said you seem interesting enough and might in fact be someone who is able to keep up with my incredibly stressing lifestyle as an international jewel thief / dog sitter by day, and pirate by night, I mean lets face it it’s a tough world out there. So how are you, what’s your story!?

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Sep 2007
    Ft. Lauderdale, FL

    1.) tl;dr
    2.) too try hard.

  5. #5

    Quote Originally Posted by gr8t100 View Post
    1.) tl;dr
    2.) too try hard.
    So it's too over the top?

  6. Seems try hard but who the f knows what works on POS. If you're getting 50% reply then good on you. I remember getting like 50% reply rate a while ago with C&F messages and you know what I had actually no info on my profile. So fuk it I'm gonna take my pics off and take my text off and all the bitches can suck on that!

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Dec 2005
    Miami Beach, FL

    The pirate a little bit too much. I mean ..sounds pretty obsessive?

    there is a STICKY in Online Game for POF profile. ReAD IT

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