i'm noticing a disturbing pattern among women i ask out

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  1. i'm noticing a disturbing pattern among women i ask out

    im a handsome, in shape guy so youd think i would have no problem with women. wrong. but, heres what im noticing:

    girl is attracted to me, eyes me up.

    i ask girl for her number, she gives it to me right away, no hesitation.

    i call/text girl and ask her out. i either get no reply, or she makes up some phony shit like her friendsdog died and she cant make it blah blah.

    if they agree to go out with me, they either stand me up or change their mind and text back with a horribly lame excuse.

    i see girl again after giving up on them, and when they see me, they whip out their cell phone in order to avoid talking to me. mabye they give a fake, phony wave.

    you know,this is really upsetting to me and makes me feel like a piece of shit. i m really down on myself right now. i am not acting desperate, texting every second, nor am i acting too aloof. so what exactly is the problem? i know you are all going to tell me now "youre doing something wrong" but i honestly feel i am not. i am just trying to act like a normal, decent human being. and im getting kicked in the face, and treated like dirt for it. why?

    is it so hard to just meet a nice, normal girl? i honestly feel like giving up the dating scene. i am a handsome, in shape fellow with a nice personality, and i am getting rejected and spit on by girls who, quite frankly, should feel lucky i am even giving them the time of day.

    i mean, even average looking girls are doing this to me lately. girls who should be out of my league in the looks dept. yet they are acting like they are courtney cox. i am willing to give these girls a chance though, at the start, because they seem to have nice personalities. then of course, their bitch side (real side) comes out. i just have to laugh at average looking girls treating me like this...girls who ought to be thanking god im even looking at them, much less asking them out on a date.

    what is up with women nowadays? they think theyre better than men, or dont need them? or are some of these deluded, average looking girls actually thinking they can do better than a handsome in shape guy like myself?

    im sorry for the rant, but i honestly would like your opinion on what is wrong. is it me? is it the women im going after? am i looking in the wrong places? and if so, what are the right places?

    i just keep running into snotty, rude women who think they are gods gift to this earth. i am just very disgusted right now. im desperate forsome good advice, thanks.



  2. #2

    The exact problem you're experiencing is that you're building no comfort whatsoever.

    These women have no connection with you which makes it awkward to talk to you at a later date and being women they'd rather just run the other way than risk a difficult social situation.

  3. #3
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    do you have anything to offer but looks? are you letting them know that somehow?

  4. #4

    This sounds like an innergame issue
    First thing you need to change is your language Unless the girls actually spitting on you and kicking you in your face or youve turned into a peice of shit etc then wording it like that will only help reinforce your disempowed victim state.
    Too be honest you sound desperate as your desperate for advise on how to get a women perhaps to validate your looks and besides you know girls dont just go for that.

    The first thing to remember is to not be so hard on yourself I can tell from your wording and how you deal with deflections that this is the number one priority.
    As far as pickup your rapport building and comfort might not be there when you go for the number and id also say that you might even have a slight desperate vibe that no amount of ego can hide and if you did get a girl then this 'unable to deal with it' would have come out at times.just keep moving foward and learn ,your doing great!

  5. Quote Originally Posted by maccas View Post
    This sounds like an innergame issue
    First thing you need to change is your language Unless the girls actually spitting on you and kicking you in your face or youve turned into a peice of shit etc then wording it like that will only help reinforce your disempowed victim state.
    Too be honest you sound desperate as your desperate for advise on how to get a women perhaps to validate your looks and besides you know girls dont just go for that.

    The first thing to remember is to not be so hard on yourself I can tell from your wording and how you deal with deflections that this is the number one priority.
    As far as pickup your rapport building and comfort might not be there when you go for the number and id also say that you might even have a slight desperate vibe that no amount of ego can hide and if you did get a girl then this 'unable to deal with it' would have come out at times.just keep moving foward and learn ,your doing great!
    you know ive heard this thrown at me now several times. "you must be acting desperate"...in what way am i acting desperate? is asking out a girl now considered "acting desperate"? what am i supposed to do? wait for them to ask me out? im not sure how i am acting desperate, please enlighten me. mabye im not up to speed with the times of today, but is asking a girl out now considered "desperate behavior" from a guy?

    jesus h christ, what the heck am i supposed to do? am i allowed to smile or is that "desperate" behavior too nowadays? i am very picky about who i ask out. i do not ask out any random girl, or even if a girl comes to me, i will not just go out with her automatically. i would really like further details on how i act desperate. thanks.

  6. Quote Originally Posted by tomthemachine View Post
    do you have anything to offer but looks? are you letting them know that somehow?
    id love to prove that i have more to offer, but unfortunately when these primmadonna women wont even go out with you one time its kind of hard to showcase what i have to offer.

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    wow, calm down mate... cause from that message i would say they are right, you sound pretty desperate to me...
    please answer my question..... i mean, you think just asking a girl out is ENOUGH????

  8. #8

    How and where are you meeting these women?

    I think there's something, and you have to base this on more than 5 women, that there's something you're doing that's making them uncomfortable or losing interest quickly.

    You have to expect a fair amount of women to flake. How many girls are you talking about approaching and #-closing, and over what period of time?

    To me, when someone gets blown off - they usually were seeing someone else, or someone they hit it off with more. Attractive women meet guys frequently, every day, get phone numbers at least once a day. Most of them are going to be polite, but for any number of reasons can lose interest quickly.

    I think being kicked in the face and spit on is a bit extreme.

    I think you need some feedback from an instructor who is going to be able to see and hear what you're doing, or contact the women who will give you an honest answer about why they flaked on you, but you have to be able to take criticism and not defend yourself or justify yourself to them. If the same answer seems to be coming up from different women, then it's pretty safe to say that's what's wrong. But they're not going to tell you right off the bat, because they don't want you to get mad at them.

  9. Quote Originally Posted by Lv3 View Post
    The exact problem you're experiencing is that you're building no comfort whatsoever.

    These women have no connection with you which makes it awkward to talk to you at a later date and being women they'd rather just run the other way than risk a difficult social situation.
    umm...how do you build a connection unless you actually go out on a date? i can understand if we go out once and the date bombs...fine.

    but whats the deal with eyeing me up like a piece of meat, me asking them out then they flake, and then i see them again and they treat me like im some piece of garbage?

    how do you build comfort before actually going out at least to get a drink or something? im confused here, mabye you can teach me something. im willing to listen.

    i get what youre saying about comfort, and about her being nervous about going out. but im nervous too and im willing to go out on a date and giveit a shot, so why arent these women? especially when they are obviously attracted to me at the start. i dont get it. and of all things, im a somewhat shy person and im still willing to go out on a date.

    so once again, how on earth do you build comfort with, lets say, a girl you meet at a bus stop? or a coffee shop? kind of hard to build comfort in a span of 5 minutes, wouldnt you say? i mean, what am i supposed to do? my only option is to ask them for their number.

    ive had women approach me in stores etc. basically start conversations, inviting me to ask for their numbers. and when i do, and call them, they ignore me and/or make excuses not to meet up. thats disgusting and intentionally leading a man on, in my book, and there is no excuse for it.

    people here keep telling me "desperate vibe"...what the f does that even mean? what is a "desperate vibe"? LOL. if by "desperate vibe" you mean im looking for someone to meet, possibly for a relationship, then uh, yeh, i guess i am "desperate". but i never push when a girl ignores me. i never say things like "why arent you answering my calls blah blah" i mean to me, that is what desperation is. but whatever.

    yes, i am looking for a woman to meet. i guess im "desperate". LOL so absurd and ridiculous. oh well.

  10. Quote Originally Posted by tomthemachine View Post
    wow, calm down mate... cause from that message i would say they are right, you sound pretty desperate to me...
    please answer my question..... i mean, you think just asking a girl out is ENOUGH????
    once again you just say "youre acting desperate" without offering a single explanation as to how i am acting desperate. yes, i am starting to lose a little patience with you. and please cut out the "whoa...calm down" stuff too, because that doesnt help to explain anything either.

    wtf does "you think asking a girl out is enough?" even mean? wtf are you talking about? should i whip out my johnson next time? not sure where youre going with this, enlighten me.

    call me weird but i was under the impression asking a girl out on a date was how relationships start. silly me, i guess. please explain to me the 21st century way of doing things. thanks.

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