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01-05-2010, 12:08 AM #1
Whenever you try to pick up strippers at strip clubs you will always face the same problem: You are initially not talking to the real person, but the stripper persona.
6 Signs Strippers are Really Interested in You
Unlike girls in bars and clubs, strippers are very aware of body language and what kind of interest they show in a guy. Your first mission is to distinguish the fake signs of interest from the real ones. Then, you try to shutdown the stripper persona and get to the real person as soon as possible.
SIDENOTE: There are a lot of cool tricks and techniques to turn off the stripper programming, but you will need to attend one of the to find out. We also teach how to get her stop seeing you as a customer and how to break yourself out of the customer frame. I might give some tricks away for free later on this blog. Keep an eye on it.
1. She stops asking for dances.
This is the first biggest real sign of attraction you will see. Once you and her have been talking for awhile, you still might not know if she is really attracted to you. However, when she is not asking for dances anymore and/or engaging in the conversation, she has decided to sit with you over making money. At this point it should feel weird for her to ask you for a dance because she is realizing that you are not an ordinary customer but a guy she might be romantically interested in. If you get this far, you're doing a good job but it's just a start.
It becomes more evident whenever she gets called on stage to dance and afterwards comes back sitting with you without asking for a tip or dance. That is a HUGE sign that she is attracted to you. If you get this, you're in!
2. She reveals her real name.
It's no secret that all exotic dancers work under a different name at the strip club. In other words, when you first get their name it's their "stripper name" not their real name. It's for security reasons that all the girls work under a stage name, so stalkers cannot look them up. Whenever a stripper tells you her real name, what that really means is that she feels comfortable around you. Not necessarily attracted, but she feels safe enough to open up to you and be her real self.
This is almost my default way-point to find out if the stripper I'm talking to is a little bit comfortable around me. I know that when she tells me her real name that I have almost completely have shut off her stripper programming and I am slowly talking to the real person.
3. She tells you insider information.
Whenever I feel it is really "on" when I'm picking up a stripper, I always end up on the same conversational topic: we start talking about the other girls in the strip club and the management. This is a recurring thread I've noticed. So when the stripper you are picking up starts sharing insider info on the other girls that's a good thing! For example, she might share that some girls do drugs in the dressing room, others have done extras in VIP rooms, and so on. Or on a similar note she might tell you how the management works in the strip club and what special rules they have. Either way, if she tells you anything like the above the pickup is going forward and in the right direction.
4. Dead air is not a deal breaker anymore.
When it comes to picking up strippers you need to be able to run your mouth for long periods of time. In the beginning of the conversation you have very little room for mistakes and dead air is lethal. Any dead silence is just enough time to get the stripper back to her stripper persona and try to squeeze money out of you. However, later on whenever you have a lull in the conversation and she reinitiates the conversation, that's a good sign. Dead air is not lethal anymore and you can assume that she has some feeling of attraction towards you.
5. She hints at seeing you outside the venue.
To get a strong timebridge and a solid phone number from strippers you need to build a really strong emotional connection. Strippers are the flakiest girls in the world and to avoid flaking you must have super good comfort game to build a strong emotional connection. Plus, you have to seed throughout the interaction that you want to see her again. So from time to time you slip in the conversation that you and her should meet up again and you do this throughout the interaction. Some people call this technique "seeding"; you lay down little hints ("seeds") when you're talking to her about meeting up later so it gets imprinted in her mind that she should see you again. When she does the seeding, in other words she mentions about meeting up with you, that means it is on like donkey kong. Calibrate this but generally at that point you want to grab her number, stay a few more minutes and then leave.
6. The digits.
Generally the objective in a stripper pickup is to get the phone number and get her out on a date. If you have done everything well and saw most of the other signs of attraction (see previous points) then you're almost sure you can get the phone number. Strippers only give out their phone numbers when they are really attracted to a guy. When you do get her phone number give yourself a shoulder pat. You've successfully picked up a stripper. Now you need to close the deal, but that's worth another post.
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01-12-2010, 02:15 PM #2
I have to say that these seem pretty dead-on. I danced for 10 years, mostly weekends. The listed signs point toward the facts that the dancer is not just trying to get money from you and that she trusts you. Trust = comfort.
The phone number isn't always going to be a sign, though. You need the other signs with it. Many girls have more than one phone - one for personal and one for customers. They give the "Stripper number" to customers they think will come buy dances from them. I've seen girls call a customer when money was slow, and said customer shows up and spends time and money on her. They never saw each other outside the club - it was strictly business.
If a dancer thinks she can string you along so that you'll keep coming back to spend money on her, she will do it!!
02-18-2010, 03:54 PM #3
- Join Date
- Feb 2010
I can confirm that every stripper that has been working for more than a few days has a throw away cell phone that she uses for customers. (It will always go straight to voicemail since she never answers it.)
I would follow everyone of the steps you listed and then...
7. Facebook friend her. If you have a Blackberry or iPhone then do it right there with her sitting in your lap. A facebook profile is the real her. She has her bff on there, her relatives, and posts from old high school friends. Strippers don't want their pervy customers on the same profile they use to communicate with the real people in their life. Have her accept you by logging in right in front of you if you can. If she types her password in front of you it means she trusts you.
You can then take this opportunity to neg her by poking fun at how she looks in the pictures. Don't waste too much time on playing on the cell phone though unless she uses it as opportunity to show you her friends and family. If she does that grab it away from her and show her a cool picture on your profile.
If I have been able to get a stripper to add me on her real facebook account I have always been able to meet her somewhere outside the club if I want to.
One other thing I have learned is when you meet a stripper outside the club never mention the club or her stripping again. If she talks about anything related to stripping tell her you don't want to talk about work. Put her down for stripping and be disapproving of it. The real people in her life disapprove of her stripping (they probably don't even know about it.) Don't try to rescue her or act like a savior though. Strippers meet a lot guys that want to rescue them and they look at those AFCs as easy marks. If you talk to her about the club it will just make her think of you as a customer. At this point she is not a stripper anymore and you are not her customer.
02-18-2010, 04:37 PM #4
Bonsia = money.
VeraLynn = money too.
VeraLynn / anyone else - curious, I wonder if there is a way to tell which phone number you get. I understand though that not all girls have two phones and I tend to go for (or rather, be more successful with) the ones who haven't been dancers and aren't "all business" (i.e. been dancing less than 6 months) and from my experience, these girls often don't have multiple phones. I'm seeing a stripper right now though who has been at it for years and she only has one phone. She just doesn't give her phone number out to customers, period.
I do love my strippersFar better is it to dare mighty things, to win glorious triumphs, even though checkered by failure... than to rank with those poor spirits who neither enjoy nor suffer much, because they live in a gray twilight that knows not victory nor defeat.
- Theodore Roosevelt
02-18-2010, 07:16 PM #5
StrictNine, you are so right on with these tips. Dancers dance because it earns them money to pay bills and buy things. Many guys like to have the fantasy that they do it because they are ALWAYS horny. VERY rarely is that ever true. I have come across one or two girls who claim they ARE really always horny, and in a setting where no one would think that she was lying. And I knew these girls well enough to know that it wasn't a drunken thing or something they made up just for customers. Most strippers are also very independent. They do NOT need anyone to "save them." Some might claim that they DO need someone to take them away, but that usually means they want to be $poiled rotten to give up what men usually are looking for - the sex, or at least the fantasy of the possibility of sex.
Most strippers I've met during my tenure were very money hungry. Money was their love. Sex was the tool to get money, and it could be the promise of sex or actual sex for those willing to do that for cash. I wish any man looking to date a stripper seriously a lot of luck. It is not impossible (I am happily married!) but it will be a challenge, I promise.
02-28-2010, 07:20 PM #6
- Join Date
- Mar 2008
- Chesaning, Michigan, United States
07-26-2010, 04:55 PM #7.
- Join Date
- Aug 2008
- Orange Country, CA
Here is my favorite tricks.
I've tapped dozens of strippers
1. I tell them I dont like lap dances and if I do get one it's typically two girls at the same time. I pay one dance extra and never give them another one no matter how much they ask.
2. I buy lap dances for the most frustrated looking guys or fuck I'll sell the girl to other guys and bet them I can get the guy to buy a lap dance even if they've already approached the guy and been turned down. ( I buy the first dance only ) typically the guy will go more then one to not look like a pussy. I call this my PIMP move. It's a sick upgrade and so manipulative but works like a charm.
3. Almost all of my stripper pulls are same day sex. Which means you have to start before close of club as many clubs lock and monitor the girls so you have to leave prior to the end of the night.
08-09-2010, 06:05 PM #8
The last time I went to a strip bar I didn't even think of game in terms of guidelines that are laid out here. I didn't even know about them. This was months ago.
I don't know what happen, but all the cards fell in the right places and all the signs above were listed. The only part that I screwed up was the closing at the end and she never called back.
I basically sat at the bar the entire time and never faced the stripper pole unless a stripper pointed me to look and so I glance over my shoulder a bit. Most of the time, I just ordered drinks while talking to the bartender or anyone next to me (usually another male patron.) Then when I got in a good buzzed mood, I invited any stripper over for a drink and conversation. I bought the first one her drink, and she asked me for a lap dance. I declined and she left.
After sitting a lone for a bit, a second one comes over and asks me if I wanted a dance. I declined but asked if she wanted a drink. She orders a beer, we chat a bit and then she leaves.
Most of my conversations were light hearted and I was having a good time talking to whoever. I never made a big deal about the drinks nor did I care if the strippers stayed or left.
Now the girls leave me alone completely since they have old desperate geezers to pursue. They probably gave up on the idea of trying to sell me a dance by this time and figured I was just hear to drink and socialize...
An hour passes by and I'm still having a good time. This time I'm talking to a young businessman next to me at the bar. He is slightly older than me, dressed up in a silk shirt and tie and dress pants. I on the other hand, just picked up my car from the autoshop, smelled like grease and a baggy T and gym pants. He is scouting the area and tells me how he'd do anything to date this one hot striper. For some reason I'm feeling extra confident today and and so I advise him not to stare at her so much for one. Two don't accept any lap dances.
Just as I said that, a HB 8 Latina sits right down next to me. The young businessman whispers over my ear and tells me "That's the girl I was talking about."
The HB Latina had games up her own sleeve. She sat down next to me, but didn't ask me for a lap dance. She talked to the bartender instead. This got me curious since I was expecting to shoot down another lap dance offer tonight.
Her conversation with the bartender ends. We look over at each other and I don't remember who opened first. We talked about where I came from and what I was doing so preoccupied with my alcohol in a strip bar.
The answer I gave her was that this was my free day from work, I just picked up my car from the autoshop here in town and now I just want to relax with some beer and music. I didn't indicate anything about looking for tits and ass. I didn't do it on purpose - it was just a natural part of my cockiness at the time but now that I look back on it, I know it was a big DHV to her.
She asks about my work and I tell her how I do sales blah blah. I cut her off at mid sentence and ask if she wants to drink with me since I just want a drinking partner.
She takes a drink I order, but goes to the bathroom first to pee. Two strippers come over and flirt with me. They're no longer asking me for dances in this joint. Now they're just coming to talk and mess around. They tease me and point to each other and saying how hot their friend is. Then they come over and play with my hat.
"Careful I tell them."
HB latina returns from the bathroom and finds that her seat was stolen by the two other strippers. The young businessman from earlier had already left to get lap dances and so his seat was vacant. The HB 8 latina takes his seat. She watches my interaction with the other two without interrupting.
I am teasing the other two but they were getting annoying as hot as they were. One was an HB 9 and the other an HB 7. They start playing with me hair but like idiots they start yanking on it like a tug-rope. I snap at them and with one finger pointed at them, I tell them, "Don't pull on the hair!"
The two sassy girls changed their facial expressions immediately into two obedient children.
I turn around to the HB 8 Latina who was waiting there patiently for me the entire time. My anger had already faded and I'm smiling again as I reengage conversation withe HB 8 Latina. My back is turned to the other two strippers. They stand around as if waiting for me to turn back. When they realized I wasn't, they left.
Two hours later she is still here drinking and talking with me. She returns to me every time she finishes her pole dancing session. She didn't drink much but I could tell she was buzzed off the drink and a half I bought her. I've spent an half a day here at the bar drinking with a stripper. She had not asked me for a dance the entire time.
Instead she had been talking to me about her best friend in the strip joint and the girls she avoids. She tells me about relationships, kids a stable man etc. I had already told her before that I am working towards owning my own six bedroom house in the suburbs and working so that my wife doesn't have to and my children will have to have a better life blah blah. HB latina 8 loved this and she ate it up.
Then there was a slight silence and smiling from both sides. She reaches her hands over and caresses my leg. I grab her hand and guide it to my cock that was fully erect and turned on.
"It's so big!" She gasps.
"Let me have your number and I'll call you to go out sometime," she said.
She gives me her real name. And I trade her my number. But what followed was not explainable by my part.
I left the bar after I gave her my number. I told her I had to go and I bailed. "Call me tonight and I'll let you see more." I thought that line was smooth.
I never got her call though. All the signs were listed. I have should have stayed longer to build comfort?
Again, I don't know how I got that HB 8 latina so into me all night. I was dressed in rags and I smelled like an oil rig. I didn't know any proper guideline models to pick up strippers then. Some how it just felt was so natural and it all came together... all but the last part.
09-29-2011, 07:36 PM #9
- Join Date
- Sep 2011
Let me precursor this by saying I am married, but it has been falling apart for some time and we are basically still only together because we cannot afford to live apart.
In need of some advice
Anyway a few days ago, I stopped by an area strip club where I began hanging out with an amazing girl. Many of the 6 signs were there as I look back in retrospect.
1)She stops asking for dances. - I wish I had read this site sooner. I was there for about 4 hours with her, but she asked for a dance not long after we started talking and I quickly obliged, I had several with her (they were not very expensive). I admit I have not spent a lot of time in the strip clubs so I didn't know how much contact I could have with her. I was actually sitting on my hands and she told me I could play with her. We basically had sex without penetration. There were some things that we did that in my opinion were well "above and beyond" the paygrade of a normal lap dance and she let me do things to her that I can't imagine she would let just any Joe Schmoe do. After we went back downstairs we just hung out for several hours and she didn't mention dances, I actually brought it up before I had to leave because she was killing me. So before I left we had two more at my request; lap dances which were more like make out sessions than what I would consider a lap dance. I have had lap dances before and the passion in these I had with her were 1,000 times magnified.
2. She reveals her real name. - She did this not long after we came back downstairs, I am glad, because I actually forgot her stripper name.She told me where she was from originally, things she had done with her family lately, just a lot of personal information I would not think a stripper would reveal. She actually completely dropped her stripper persona within about 20 minutes.
3. She tells you insider information. She did this several times during our time together.
4. Dead air is not a deal breaker anymore. This was perhaps the best part (aside from the dances) We actually didn't have a lot of dead air. Any time we did for a few seconds, she re-initiated almost immediately, but we spent a lot of time just bullshitting, we went to this smoke room and were just hanging out in there, looking out the window making fun of people. We went back into the bar and were drinking together. And she wasn't getting expensive drinks, but $2 shots. I think I only spent like $50 on drinks and that included myself. We got a buzzed and were singing old shitty 80's songs at the bar together. She sad she was cold and cuddled up to me for several minutes.
5. She hints at seeing you outside the venue. We have the same birthday so she mentioned we should get together and celebrate. She was even going to go the her locker and get her driver's license to show me our birthdays were the same. I told her I believed her and she didn't need to do that. I didn't push the issue on seeing each other because like I said before, I am still technically married.
6. The digits. I didn't go there, I was already feeling a bit guilty about the whole married thing, this is the first time I have ever really been an asshole in my marriage.
So to make a long story short. I was already feeling a strong personal connection, but really couldn't tell if she was really interested or just completely awesome at what she does for a living. This thread has made me think even more it was something more than just a great salesperson taking my money.
I would really appreciate any thoughts or advice on the matter, how would an expert proceed?
10-03-2011, 08:32 AM #10
Originally Posted by tre4434
- Join Date
- May 2011
Were you, by any chance, polite and respectful to her, reasonably well-groomed, well-behaved and not groping or leering, paid her money when asked, and in the strip club on a fairly quiet night?
What it sounds like you have yourself here, is a stripper who likes you as a decent-quality customer in the club, is happy to fool around with you inside the club, but would not even consider dating you outside the club. Touching and making out in the club will not usually give you any clues to how she really feels about you, because everything in the club "doesn't count" in terms of dating.
The psychology of a stripper is complex, it's usually a combination of good sales tactics, hoping you will become a 'regular' customer, being slightly drunk, knowing it is a 'safe' environment and not real, competition with the other girls, her acclimatization because she did it already or saw her friend doing it, the global economy, and needing some validation from every man. Very occasionally there is also a genuine physical response from her (meaning she is genuinely turned on by your touch) but this is rare, and too easily feigned.
It is also completely normal to make a good "connection" with a stripper in conversation, that is an important part of the job if she is skilled. Your conversation with a stripper is a genuine conversation, meaning that if you see her again she will probably remember what you talked about and start where you left off, but it is still just part of a day's work for her.
I recommend go easy on thinking of her as an "amazing girl". You are comparing her with a shit marriage falling apart, anything is good compared with that. Most strippers are young and hot, and will look into your eyes and pay attention to you, you can basically walk into any strip club in your city on any night, behave the same way you did, and have a similar great experience. The problem is, you walk out of the club or stop paying the money, and it immediately ends...
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