When a girl all of a sudden goes cold on you?

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  1. #1

    When a girl all of a sudden goes cold on you?

    Well lads Im new to these forums and was trying to game a 21 Italian chick recently which ended horribly.

    A brief summary:

    Met through a friend, she added me on facebook. We chatted a while, it went cold for a bit and I went on holiday. I came back and we got chatting again and eventually went for a day 2. Day 2 went superb and ended in a hot kiss close. She asks me out next day but i decline as I was busy family wise, I then arrange a meet for a few days later. All goes smooth and the flirting and banter is still there. The night before Day 3 she texts me saying she is coming round but eventually flakes. Next morning I get a message telling me she is flaking on the Day 3 too. So i keep it cool and just keep texting and attempt two more times for another meet. It doesnt happen.

    We eventually have a proper chat on facebook and she tells me how she isnt ready for a relationship (split with her 2yr old bf 4 months ago). Now I know this could be bull shit or real, but my question is there anywhere I can improve?

    In my eyes my inner game needs improving i.e when she went cold not to be bothered by it and also maybe not attempting for another meet so early after she flaked. But what really bugged me is how she went so cold on me after a very very short period of time.

    Any feedback will be highly appreciated.

  2. #2

    Hard to tell because we don't know exactly what you said. If we had something to pick apart, we could see places where you screwed up. But from just this, it just seems like you two weren't on the same wavelength. I wouldn't worry about it.

  3. #3

    All the messages have been deleted. I know the post is a bit vague but just thought I would share it to see if anyone else had come across something similar.

  4. #4

    I had a girl go cold recently, but I pinpointed my mistake to giving her too much attention/being needy. So I started going out with other girls, not being around for her, and after a couple weeks of no contact she's suddenly trying to get the attention back.

    In another case, I had a girl flake on day 3 with a lame excuse (it was cold/raining). I just let it go, and something even more fun came along - I was invited to a pro basketball game for free by some friends. I thanked her for flaking on me, told her about some fun things I did the following day, and she was suddenly asking "Why didn't you invite me??"

    Lately I've come to the belief/reality that I meet hot girls all the time (one at a concert on Wed, two last night), so if one girl flakes I can just go meet/spend time with another one. This mindset has helped tremendously over the past week or so.

  5. #5

    Well I have spoken with her recently and apparently she isnt ready for a relationship or anything with any guy and she flaked on me because she didnt want to lead me on by me getting to know her more. She split with her ex 4 months ago and was with him for 2 years. Her excuse is a load of bull shit too be honest.

    What is funny is that I was ready to keep her as a friend and just add to my social circle as I did enjoy chatting with her but I have got such a cold vibe with her that I have deleted her number and removed her from my FB as her behaviour has really made me see a different side to her which I don't like.

    An I totally agree with you Aphelion, I've moved on and started to game other girls.

  6. #6

    Deleting her on your phone and FB is a little AFC if you ask me.......That sounds like you're taking her coldness to heart and way too personally. As hard as it may be and as bitchy as she is, DO NOT take it personal. Big smiles and conveying a positive attitude gets you far in the game.

  7. #7

    Quote Originally Posted by Hasim View Post
    Her excuse is a load of bull shit too be honest.
    Pretty much. With the first girl I mentioned, I got that same line from her... Two days later she hooked up with an ex-friend of mine (ex because I realized after he was a vulture who only wanted to steal girls away from me and added no value to my life). In the time I spent not talking to her, I took her off the pedestal and saw her more objectively... I saw that she was actually a low quality woman and if she wants to be with a loser like him instead of a rock star like me, that's her problem.

    I think deleting the number is fine (I deleted the girl's number so she is the only one who can initiate contact), but deleting her off fb is a bit AFC. It shows to her that you care/are affected... I actually did this when I first found out about her and my ex-buddy, but added her back soon after and she accepted right away.

    She said, "You added me to fb again?"
    I replied, "Yes. I may or may not do it again... I like to keep you on your toes!"

    The best part is that I have a very exciting and fulfilling life, and she sees that through my fb posts/photos. The best revenge? Live well.

  8. #8

    Aphelion, good shit and good vibe! I see you like Midtown hm?

  9. #9

    Quote Originally Posted by Vochal View Post
    Aphelion, good shit and good vibe! I see you like Midtown hm?
    Thanks! Like many others, I'm learning to improve my life through the help of this forum and real world experiences.

    Midtown? As in Manhattan? I actually reside in L.A.

  10. #10

    It is AFC but I didn't realise you can set it up so her statuses and pictures don't pop up on your homepage. So I got removed her as I found myself constantly checking if she was online too in the chat list.

    I'm not going to add her again as I have come across a total afc already so just cutting my losses now anyway.

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