Got out of the Friend Zone...now what?

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  1. Got out of the Friend Zone...now what?

    so I did the whole "no contact" thing with a very good friend and it (seemingly) worked. she called/txted to hang out for a couple weeks before i agreed to do something with her.

    we went out for drinks and a bite to eat. she suggested we head back to my place. we got in bed and fooled around a bit before i took her home.

    my question is..going forward, now what? do i call her out next weekend? skip a weekend? do i wait for her to initiate again? or is the ball in my court now?

    i know what to do if she were some random chick, but never tried to date a friend before.



  2. noones succesfully escaped?

  3. What do you want?

    Do you want her to be your girlfriend? If so just keep going, keep the attraction alive and double up on the comfort and qualification, ya know, act like a boyfriend.


    If you want friends with benefits, then I don't think I need to tell you what to do.


    Either way you're kind of beyond the point of "How long should I wait to call her" stage, you can call her whenever you want. Maybe I'm too nonschalant, but really in my humble opinon after you have sex you can just cruise, have what you want, na mean?

  4. i would like a relationship with her.

    when we first met we shortly dated but it never amounted to anything concrete because i was moving in a couple months.

    weve been in the same city now for about a year and our friendship has grown since. its a true friendship, not just me wanting to sleep with her.

    we got to the point where we were talking daily. she would call at bedtime. there was decent kino between us. people assumed we were dating, but it was never official.

    then out of the blue, she tells me she has a date (setup on a blind date). i let her know my standing/intentions with us and began the "no contact"

    reason i mention the above is now that we have re-connected, how often should we talk/hang out? obviously not daily like before, but i havent initiated any contact with her for almost a week. i should add neither has she.

    im thinking of just gaming her as if i just met her. good or bad?

  5. #5

    If I'm reading this right you didn't have sex. You "fooled around a bit". I'd say that right now it's important not to show any neediness on your part. She will be turrned off. Make her chase. Don't call for a couple days, then text her something about going out to do some errands and do you want to tag along or something along those lines.

  6. Quote Originally Posted by rrr12345 View Post

    im thinking of just gaming her as if i just met her. good or bad?
    I'm no expert, but that's what I'd do.

    Women operate in the moment, mainly, so if you come in strong and natural it'll have the effect of her "seeing a new side of you." maybe she'll even jokingly ask what's gotten into you\what did you do with the rrr12345 she knew before, etc.

    In my humble opinion, and I'm no expert on relationships mind you, all you really need to do is have intercourse and then you two can have a relationship. The way you talk sounds like you two are already "dating" you just need to add the attraction and the sex.

    That's just what I think, again.

  7. thanks guys for the input

    yea furthest we've gone is oral. she will "only have sex with her boyfriend." this has happened twice and ive responded with "then be my girlfriend." (looking back that wasnt the smoothest thing to say cause she might think im just trying to get in her pants)

    ill give her a call sometime this week to set something up for the weekend.

    i actually prefer the less contact, but any ideas why she hasnt called/txted? in the past she initiated most the contact, esp the bedtime calls. maybe she too is trying to treat this like we just met?

    also, should i be insulted by the blind date? granted we had nothing official and i had gone on a few dates myself so i feel like a hypocrite. was this a shit test?

  8. is it acceptable to ask her to simply "grab a drink" or "hang out"?

    or should i be using clever lines

  9. #9

    I think you're over analyzing this. Don't be needy but don't disappear now that you've hooked up with her. Women worry that everything will change as soon as the relationship goes physical. Don't let that happen. Make sense?

  10. what should i do/say if she goes on another date?

    edit: youre completey right that i am overanalyzing. i just want this to work, kinda sick of 1-nighters (im going to regret saying that i know)

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