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    Funny things to say after sex?

    Ok ok i was just wondering what are some great things to talk about after sex.

    Now i know some of you guys just fall asleep etc, but there are girls who get moody at you if you don't talk to them after sex, and i figured why not say things that are funny?...

    So any tips on what to say that could get her laughing after sex?...


    CHEERS BIG EARS!.


    The rule of three: When ever a guy tells you he has slept with a certain number of girls, Divide that number by 3 and you’ll have the real number. When ever a girl tells you a certain number or guys/girls she’s slept with times that by 3 and you’ll have the real number = American Pie

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    -Tell anyone and I’ll kill you.

    -Why are you still here?

    -YOU JUST GOT PUNK’D!

    -Uh oh. I forgot to take my Valtrex.

    -That’s it?

    -Wow recess is almost over. I’ve gotta get you back to school.

    "Wow, your brother was right. Your sister is a better lay."

    Why is Chris Hansen here?

    " I hope you liked your initiation into Oz."

    " Do you itch down there, because I sure do."

    " You're going to look real good buried under my porch."

    "That was great Mom. Can you go make me some pancakes now ?"

    For the ladies...: "Is it in yet?"

    Did you have orgasm?

    Your not as loud as your sister/best friend

    I will have to go, this is my stop.

    I have aids.

    Will you drop me off at practice, Grampa?

    Screaming "SHOW ME A PICTURE OF YOUR DADDY" seems to upset them.

    You're still here?

    " If you don't get me those t-shirts I swear I'll do it again, Reggie. Stop crying, little bitch !"

    Tomorrow you may feel a burning sensation when you piss, it's really nothing to get worked up about.

    I bet next time someone tells you not to accept sweets from strangers you'll listen huh?

    "That was good......but, your momma.....she was off the hook"

    I don't know what it is about coffins that turns me on so much.

    "Sure hope that AIDS test comes back negative..."

    "Make yourself useful and cook up some eggs and bacon would you, there's a good girl."

    " Wait...You're trying to tell me you were saying the safety word for 40 minutes ? I didn't even hear you."

    Just keep calling her other girls names, the more girls names you can bring in the higher your score

    'Sorry I was quick but I have to get back home to my wife'

    'You should be impressed I have quite an ability to have great sex like that even when I feel no attraction whatsoever to a woman'

    'Your the 23rd this month, and the good news your not in the bottom 10 at all. Interestingly you know most of the top10 didnt make me wear condoms, you could have got your rating up quite a bit by not making me wear 1. Oh look the condom ripped anyway. See you lowered your rating for nothing'

    'It ain't no fun if the homies can't get none' which leads me to 'I'm so happy, This proves I'm not gay, Brandon would never believe this he'll be so mad, can I borrow 1 of your tampons'

    I hope you have a morning after pill, because I totally lied about having a condom. Gotta go.

    Ok I've finished, you can do the autopsy now.

    That marrowbone really does bring out a shine on your fur.

    Your vag was a bit dry.... so I took off my condom and used my sperm as lub

    "Sorry it was not better but I am very small".

    "Got any tissue? I think I shit myself when I came"

    "Wow fat chicks can fuck good too"


    "Thats definetly not my blood"

    "AND FOR MY NEXT TRICK"

    After I have slept with a bird for the first time, as I am leaving her bedroom I will say to her "Thanks" or "This should cover last night" and then put about 7 pence in coppers (1 and 2 pence pieces) on her bedside table.

    (During sex)
    "What is your stance on the nuclear weapons program in Russia?"

    "Have you ever had your butt pee'd in?"
    Condom? Oh, uh, you might want to hang on to that coat hanger for a bit.

    "Count yourself lucky I only have syphillis, the best of the sexually transmitted diseases"

    "I need your opinion on something, does this look like herpes?"

    No that wasn't a poke adot condom I had on silly , I don't use them ..

    "I still would of preferred this three-way with your mother"
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    Quote Originally Posted by MiLLo View Post

    -Why are you still here?

    -YOU JUST GOT PUNK’D!

    -Uh oh. I forgot to take my Valtrex.


    I have aids.

    "Sure hope that AIDS test comes back negative..."

    "Make yourself useful and cook up some eggs and bacon would you, there's a good girl."

    'Sorry I was quick but I have to get back home to my wife'

    'You should be impressed I have quite an ability to have great sex like that even when I feel no attraction whatsoever to a woman'

    'It ain't no fun if the homies can't get none' which leads me to 'I'm so happy, This proves I'm not gay, Brandon would never believe this he'll be so mad, can I borrow 1 of your tampons'

    I hope you have a morning after pill, because I totally lied about having a condom. Gotta go.

    Ok I've finished, you can do the autopsy now.

    Your vag was a bit dry.... so I took off my condom and used my sperm as lub

    "Got any tissue? I think I shit myself when I came"

    "Wow fat chicks can fuck good too"

    "Thats definetly not my blood"


    "Count yourself lucky I only have syphillis, the best of the sexually transmitted diseases"

    "I need your opinion on something, does this look like herpes?"
    Are you being serious? thats not funny, those things are scary.......I think you may get a few people slapped if they take that advice, lol maybe that was your intention

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    they r more than funny, they are gold! haha
    sex should be fun, not serious!

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    lol millo the last one you have, I still would of prefered the three way with ur mother..

    thats gold ..
    The rule of three: When ever a guy tells you he has slept with a certain number of girls, Divide that number by 3 and you’ll have the real number. When ever a girl tells you a certain number or guys/girls she’s slept with times that by 3 and you’ll have the real number = American Pie

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