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Discuss Problems getting my girl off at the Sex within the The Attraction Forums. Dating Advice.; Problems getting my girl off I've been dating this girl for a while and we ...
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    Problems getting my girl off

    I've been dating this girl for a while and we started having sex a few weeks ago. The problem is that despite some fairly solid effort on my part, she still hasn't had an orgasm. She says she's never had one that she knows off, only that she's felt "good".

    One obvious thing could be that she isn't attracted to me. I doubt this is the case, since she intiates sex as often as I do and is always wet when we do. She says she thinks of me when she masterbates (she can't get off with masturbation either) and she loves my body (and to be fair I have a very nice body). So while this can't be ruled out, I doubt it's the main problem.

    The other thing is that she is holding back mentally for whatever reason. She says she is insecure because she packed on a few pounds over the last year (what do I care, it's all gone to her boobs anyways) and only recently allowed me to see her completely nude. As mentioned she says she's never had a legit orgasm, and I suppose that could be true. So insecurity could play a part. I was working on her clit last weekend for a long time (using the david shade patented "pinch" technique among other things) and I noticed that her body started twitching as if she was headed in the right direction. Then it seemed like she sort of "pulled back" and it was back to square one...

    As for sexual technique, I'm not claiming to be a master by any stretch of the imagination. In fact I'm a novice at best. But I do have some ability and my effort has been (I daresay ) quite good.

    Now, I've tried to not be affected by it because I don't want to put any more pressure on her. However, it's hard not to let your ego get bruised by it slightly. And of course most importantly I like her alot and want her to happy.

    Thoughts? Tips?

    (Dispense with the "it's not the destination that matters, it's how you get there" statements, I want for her to cum)



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    Have you tried using any tools? A vibrator could do the job while you're doing something else to her!

    Also I'd recommend those durex lubricants, they work wonders!

    If this doesn't work, I think it's pretty much her problem... some girls find it very difficult or impossible to orgasm.

    Good luck!

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    No, I forgot to ask he if she had any last time I spent the night at her place. I agree that might be worth a try.

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    Dildo = Bad idea.

    If you're setting an orgasm as the goal, you're doomed to fail You're putting performance anxiety pressure on her, and it makes it even more difficult to orgasm.

    In order to be able to fully surrender in a satisfying orgasm -- she should be able to orgasm on her own. If she can't give into the feelings -- for herself -- How should she know how to do it with you?

    There are further requirements, and further steps I could help you with -- But if she can't do it on her own, she will not with you.

    If you can get an honest answer from her -- I have no problem working further with you. Til then, it seems to be a waste of time for both of us. You can also see some of David shade's work for a good bodied outline of what she needs to feel beforehand.

    ==Romo
    Always ask Questions.

    It takes Titanium Balls to be Honest.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Romo View Post
    If you can get an honest answer from her -- I have no problem working further with you. Til then, it seems to be a waste of time for both of us.

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    Quote Originally Posted by IheartRogerHuerta View Post
    The other thing is that she is holding back mentally for whatever reason. She says she is insecure because she packed on a few pounds over the last year (what do I care, it's all gone to her boobs anyways) and only recently allowed me to see her completely nude.
    Thats the problem.

    Quote Originally Posted by IheartRogerHuerta View Post
    As for sexual technique, I'm not claiming to be a master by any stretch of the imagination. In fact I'm a novice at best. But I do have some ability and my effort has been (I daresay ) quite good.
    You dont need to do anything too complicated , none of those Cosmopolitan contort-your-body positions that they claim came from the Kama Sutra.

    Quote Originally Posted by IheartRogerHuerta View Post
    Now, I've tried to not be affected by it because I don't want to put any more pressure on her. However, it's hard not to let your ego get bruised by it slightly.
    You need to stay confident, make sure it doesn't get to you. If you maintain confidence she will feel that it is possible to orgasm. You musn't put any doubt in her mind about this. Her belief about this is everything. It is a mental block she need to work through. Its not you.

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    Check out this book: [ame=http://www.amazon.com/Elusive-Orgasm-Womans-Guide-Cant/dp/1600940234]Amazon.com: The Elusive Orgasm: A Woman's Guide to Why She Can't and How She Can Orgasm: Vivienne Cass: Books[/ame]

    I read it in one sitting at my local bookstore...and it has some useful information. It is written for women though...but I'm sure you can apply it to your situation. And just relax...don't set an orgasm as the goal...set PLEASURE as the goal. Your goal should be to give her pleasure from START to STOP...if she orgasms then YAY! but if she doesn't that's fine too...as long as she was moaning and grinding and squeezing you.

    Another thing is that women have a plethora of different orgasms. Her orgasm may be one that is soft and also the three different spots you can pleasure in or around the vagina produce different orgasms as well. Some women have HARD orgasms...hit hard and make them SCREAM and claw and bite etc...and some women just lay there softly moaning while having an orgasm. Each woman is different. Each woman RESPONDS different to different techniques.

    Xadus

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    Thanks for the advice guys and girls. I'll keep you posted on my success or lack thereof

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