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Discuss Why can't I get a full erection during intercourse? at the Sex within the The Attraction Forums. Dating Advice.; Why can't I get a full erection during intercourse? It makes no sense to me. ...
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    Why can't I get a full erection during intercourse?

    It makes no sense to me.

    I USED to watch a lot of porn, sometimes I would masturbate (and finish) 10-15 in one day (Only once per week though and I stopped doing this MONTHS ago). I'd squeeze my dick really tight sometimes and jerk it FASSSSSSST and hard. Sometimes I'd use lube sometimes not. But like I said it's been over two months since any of that.

    Anyway, the strange thing is, during foreplay such as oral stimulation, I usually do get a full erection. Even when masturbating alone I can usually get one. I also get them randomly during the day like when I'm at work... But, almost as SOON as I put it inside her, bam, it goes down to about 80% hard instead of 100%. It's very irritating.

    I read a lot of the threads here and I don't feel like any of the advice applies to me. I have been heavily cutting down on porn. It's definitely not a psychological issue since I get fully hard easily when she's just playing with it or licking it a little. I'm not really nervous either. Well, maybe SLIGHTLY, but that still doesn't seem like the whole problem.

    It's that vagina. As soon as I slip it in there (it feels great, btw) I go from 100% hard to 80-85% (rough estimate, maybe as low as 75%). I need a solution. I want my dick to stay hard the whole time. The girl is hot, I don't think it's her fault. Especially since I can get hard easily BEFORE I go in. But once I go in... wtf!

    Btw I don't even use a condom, I pull out early. I can't even IMAGINE how hard it's going to be next week since I'm making it a point to use a condom from now on.

    I would appreciate any creative suggestions as to what my problem could be. Also any advice on supplements that might help would be appreciated.

    Please help me!



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    My thoughts...

    AFC-

    First, the good news:

    There's nothing wrong physically with your dick. The fact that you get hard randomly throughout the day, as well as with foreplay, shows that physically, all the 'plumbing' is working properly, and you have the potential to be a stud!

    BUT...

    You might have some work to do.

    What am I talking about?

    POTENTIAL PROBLEM #1: RE-CALIBRATING YOUR SENSITIVITY
    You mentioned how you used to use very hard stimulation when masturbating while watching porn.

    What could be happening when you're in the pussy is that your dick is so used to this kind of aggressive stimulation, that the gentle, wet caress of a pussy just isn't enough.

    SOLUTION #1: CHANGE YOUR MASTURBATION HABITS
    To get your dick more sensitive and more responsive to the kind of stimulation you're getting in sex (and more likely to stay rock hard as a result), try to NOT using a typical "jack-off" masturbation technique.

    Instead, get used to touching yourself gently while PAYING ATTENTION to the sensations you're feeling: your rising arousal, the warmth and tingling that will begin to move and spread throughout your body, etc.

    It's cliche, but needs to be said: focus on your present moment experience.

    This technique sounds simple, but it's borderline magical when you have practiced it a lot. I learned this technique (among others) from the great book "how to make love all night long" by Barbara Kessler. It was one of the strategies that really helped me to overcome an issue I had with premature ejaculation, btw...

    POTENTIAL PROBLEM #2: YOUR MIND

    I think there's a good chance that your thoughts ARE playing a part in you having this problem. Obviously, you were aware of the pattern enough to write this post, so there's probably a good chance that you think about this situation happening, before or during sex.

    What happens physically usually begins with the mind, so this thought pattern leading to behavior needs to be interrupted and changed.

    SOLUTION #2a: Go See a Hypnotherapist

    Hypnotherapy is GREAT for this sort of thing, I HIGHLY recommend it. Just do a yelp.com search for a hypnotherapist in your area, find one with excellent reviews, and schedule an appointment.

    It shouldn't run you more than $150 bucks at MOST (way less than you'd end up spending if you became dependent on some supplement) and one session should take care of it.

    Ask if you can record the session, so you can listen to it again and again to continuously reprogram your mind/body response to sex.

    SOLUTION #2b: Do It Yourself

    I'm not skilled in NLP, which seems like it could be excellent for your situation (maybe someone else can chime in to go more in depth on this topic) but here's a simple way to reprogram your thinking:

    Just imagine, again and again, VIVIDLY, how your dick just can't help but stay ROCK hard while you are having sex. Visualize this again and again throughout the day.

    If you have any negative visualizations pop up, don't stress about it. Just come back to focusing on the results you want, the experience you KNOW you're going to have, again and again.

    Soon you will be so familiar with success, it will just happen naturally when you are actually having sex.

    Above all, enjoy yourself and your woman's body, and you'll be laughing about this in no time!

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    Thanks man. I appreciate it.

    Though I Feel like the first thing will help the most :P

    Re calibrating sounds like a ton of work... So quitting masturbation entirely won't fix the problem on it's own?

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    Stopping mindlessly jacking off to porn will definitely help fix the problem.

    And, on the other hand, learning how to masturbate PROPERLY helps A LOT.

    (properly in the sense of, masturbating in a way that is going to help you achieve greater control over your erection, of course. I'm not trying to say there is some kind of 'right way' to masturbate, that would be pretty damn presumptuous of me!)

    The idea is to get more in tune with the various subtle levels of arousal that happen as you move towards orgasm.

    Which leads us to...

    Rate Your Arousal From Zero to Ten

    This is a common technique that a lot of people recommend, because it really helps you become aware of your own arousal, giving you A LOT of control over your erection and ejaculation. It's pretty simple...

    So let's say Zero is absolutely no arousal. (You just caught Rosanne Barr masturbating in your closet while eating two handfuls of twinkies.)

    And let's say Ten is you are having an orgasm - (for more storyline, let's say you happen to be deep inside Sophia Vergara while she is screaming your name in orgasmic ecstasy (hey, what can I say? I love cougars and she is the uber-cougar...))

    So the idea is to keep your arousal high enough to sustain your erection, but low enough so that you don't blow your wad too soon.

    This is where the "genital caress" retraining of your arousal comes in. You want to lower the amount of stimulation you require to achieve a good erection.

    So, drop the typical "grip it and rip it" style of jerking off for a couple weeks, and instead focus on slowly touching yourself while being aware of how aroused you are (check in every 30 seconds or so - where are you at? 5? 6? 9?)

    Oh, and don't use porn. Just focus on your experience and what feels good to YOU, right now.

    I will admit. This is a little tedious and a bit more work than just turning on RedTube and having a whack, but if you want to change your performance and handle this issue, I would give this a try for a couple weeks, if you don't happen to have a real life vagina to work with. In fact, even if you do, I'd still recommend working with this solo exercise.

    To be honest, if you're really lazy but have $100 lying around, I'd recommend just going to a hypnotherapist. You will probably be performing better than ever after just one session.

    PM me if you want a recommendation of someone I know who does excellent work via Skype.

    Anyways, let me know how it goes, and good luck!

    -Michael

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    Thanks. I'm trying to re calibrate my sensitivity right now... it's not easy.

    Especially without any kind of visual or psychological stimulation... Ugh, this is going to take a while!!!!

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    Nice!

    Let me know how it goes...

    Good luck!

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    Dude, these wall of text posts aren't worth reading. It's this simple: you're overthinking it. Your mind is constantly thinking about your erection the entire time your banging her. Most of the time, you think it is 85%, but really it's still plenty hard enough to bang. Just take a breather, tell the chick you are with that you're rusty (chicks are cool with that), and just keep on tryin till you get it. And if you do screw up and lose it, just keep your cool, you can finger her to give her what she wants, and just chill with her until you are comfortable enough to take another stab at it.
    generic motivational quote #8384

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