Like Tree1Likes
  • 1 Post By MuGGzy

Sex with a 25 yo virgin

Discuss Sex with a 25 yo virgin at the Sex within the The Attraction Forums. Dating Advice.; Sex with a 25 yo virgin Hey everyone, Not sure if anybody's had this problem ...

Results 1 to 9 of 9
  1. #1
    Join Date
    Oct 2006
    Gender:
    Posts
    4
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts
    Mentioned
    0 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Sex with a 25 yo virgin

    Hey everyone,

    Not sure if anybody's had this problem before, or whether it's been posted up somewhere else already. I've tried having a search but there's too many posts to sift through!

    Anyway, I have been going out with a girl for a few months now, who I really like. She is my first serious girlfriend in 3 years, not through lack of trying, but because I've been enjoying my time as a single guy in his 20s, and now that I'm ready to settle down, I've finally met a girl who I think I can settle with.

    A big problem, however, is that though I have plenty of experience with girlfriends and sex, she doesn't. In fact, she's 25 (I'm 27) and I'm her first boyfriend, the last guy she kissed before me was 4 years ago, and she's never had sex before. I'll also note that she's not ugly at all and has loads of guys hitting on her all the time (I'd give her a 9), plus she's not religious.

    So I'm not really sure what to do, or whether there's in fact anything I can do? Considering that she's still a virgin by choice, does her way of thinking mean that I just have to wait and continue to be patient, as she gets more comfortable with me and the idea of sex? When I ask her about it, she keeps saying that "she's training me" and I ask what for, and she makes some random comment like "she's training me to be aware of my self" or some other floozy stuff. I don't want to push it too much (but I do raise it regularly) because she'll start thinking that all I care about it sex, like the hundreds of men that she's already rejected.

    Any advice would be helpful! I've seriously considered ditching this girl due to her lack of experience; I don't want to have to "train her" and put up with antics that teenage girls grow out of after their first relationships. At the same time, I really like her and can see a lot of long-term potential with her too.

    Thanks



  2. #2
    Join Date
    Nov 2009
    Gender:
    Age
    30
    Posts
    47
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts
    Mentioned
    0 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Of course you think about sex like the hundreds of men, but saying that you don't will get you on the LJBF route. When she trusts you more, you can just simply ask her, why she's holding back. And progress from there. But don't hide your wishes or desire, hey you might loose her, but her seeing that you go by your desires and wishes will make sex even more possible.

  3. #3
    DeadEyeDick's Avatar
    DeadEyeDick is offline Administrator Emeritus
    Join Date
    Aug 2007
    Gender:
    Location
    The Back of Beyond
    Posts
    5,880
    Thanks
    1
    Thanked 15 Times in 14 Posts
    Mentioned
    11 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    That she's a virgin and thinks she's "training" anyone is hilarious.

    Lots of emotional questions about a 25-year-old virgin, and that's a fairly heavy situation for you, too.

    Most virgins are waiting for something ... might be interesting to ask her what she's waiting for. Also, she should stop the "training" nonsense.
    When I am writing in red, it's as an Attraction Forums Admin. When I write in normal text, it's just me.

    "I remember the first time I had sex; I still have the receipt!" -- Groucho Marx

    Please use the search function.

    A Philosophy of Abundance | Learn Seduction | Online Sarging | Negs Explained

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Oct 2006
    Gender:
    Posts
    4
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts
    Mentioned
    0 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Thanks for the comments guys. Still not sure what to do but you're right, I think there are some heavy emotional issues that I haven't been able to get out of her, maybe cos I haven't worked out the right questions to ask.

    In terms of comfort... Well I think I'm a LONG way from that. She's asked about my sexual history (I'm sure there's gotta be a good way to answer that question when its extensive, will have to look for it) and now she says she needs time to work out whether she can "deal" with it, especially from someone who's never done it before.

    I really properly like this girl (ie long term gf material) but am starting to wonder if it's all worth it...

  5. #5
    TheRogue's Avatar
    TheRogue is online now Moderator of The Attraction Forums
    Join Date
    Sep 2006
    Gender:
    Location
    Silicon Valley
    Age
    29
    Posts
    3,124
    Thanks
    1
    Thanked 45 Times in 40 Posts
    Mentioned
    38 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Do you get the feeling that she has to control everything in her life? Is she OCD about stuff? Can she ever relax and let go? I have a feeling she uses her virginity as a means of control. She won't lose it because she is afraid of losing control, opening up, and potentially getting hurt. As long as she's still a virgin, she thinks she has all the power and can call the shots. Saying "no" is empowering. It prevents people from ever getting close enough to her to hurt her. Like DED said, she probably has major emotional issues. If I were you, I'd reconsider her long-term potential.

    Rogue

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Oct 2009
    Gender:
    Age
    43
    Posts
    801
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts
    Mentioned
    0 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    The fact that she has to "work out if she can deal" with you having multiple past partners is kind of strange, or VERY naive. Did this girl grow up in a strict conservative environment where she simply doesn't realize that SHE is actually WAY in the minority? As she gets older she is only going to continue meeting people with bigger numbers of past partners, so what number does she think is "normal" for a late 20's adult that is not religious?

    I would put money that there is some abuse or some kind of major issue under this, or she is straight up lying about being a virgin. Maybe she thinks that if you get sex from her you will lose interest and she feeds off the feelings of being wanted by men and being able to say NO.

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Jul 2006
    Gender:
    Age
    44
    Posts
    8,506
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 6 Times in 6 Posts
    Mentioned
    0 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Don't discuss sexual history that she has no way of finding out about. It's not her business, and she'll use it against you. Or just keep it to the LTRs you've had sex with in the past.

    It's going to take a long time to gain her trust, but I don't think she gets that she might see herself as rejecting other men, but I see them as losing patience with her.

    I know you see her as LTR potential and someone you could see yourself settling down with, but until she starts going the extra mile for you, you might want to cut back on being with her. She might think she has all these options, but the guys who are going to walk out, are more likely the ones she wants to fight to keep. And if she says she can find another guy, all that will mean is that she'll just give the next guy blue balls and he'll just bail on her, too.

    Just because a girl hasn't physically gotten laid, doesn't mean she doesn't have sexual fantasies. And that's where you should try to go next. It doesn't mean to get into dirty talk, but to try to get her to open up about what turns her on.


    Quote Originally Posted by panda View Post
    Thanks for the comments guys. Still not sure what to do but you're right, I think there are some heavy emotional issues that I haven't been able to get out of her, maybe cos I haven't worked out the right questions to ask.

    In terms of comfort... Well I think I'm a LONG way from that. She's asked about my sexual history (I'm sure there's gotta be a good way to answer that question when its extensive, will have to look for it) and now she says she needs time to work out whether she can "deal" with it, especially from someone who's never done it before.

    I really properly like this girl (ie long term gf material) but am starting to wonder if it's all worth it...

  8. #8
    Join Date
    May 2010
    Gender:
    Location
    Toronto
    Posts
    912
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 6 Times in 6 Posts
    Mentioned
    2 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Quote Originally Posted by panda View Post

    When I ask her about it, she keeps saying that "she's training me" and I ask what for, and she makes some random comment like "she's training me to be aware of my self" or some other floozy stuff. I don't want to push it too much (but I do raise it regularly) because she'll start thinking that all I care about it sex, like the hundreds of men that she's already rejected.
    She is training you to be a good provider for her.
    You do need to escalate, the theory of hundreds of guys who just wanted her for sex and she rejected them is wrong, it is more hundred of guys who wanted her but never had balls to do anything about it.
    If you don't know in the first 20 minutes whether or not you are going to have sex with the women you just met, you are not a seductionist. - Svengali

  9. #9
    Join Date
    Mar 2008
    Gender:
    Location
    Somewhere
    Age
    39
    Posts
    552
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts
    Mentioned
    0 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Any updates on progress Panda?

    I normally find the girls who reach past 23-24 as virgins are dealing with a lot of issues with giving / receiving affection.

    My friend did meet (and eventually marry) a girl who was a virgin at 22 (he was 30ish with a kid already). He was a little surprised to learn she was a virgin. After a few dates and some normal kissing and stuff there were a couple dates where they started getting closer but it wasn't quite progressing ALL the way, and he finally said "Is there a reason this isn't going further?" She said "well, it's just that I've never done it before." I think they took it slow, went out a few more times, built up some more comfort that demonstrated he wasn't going to just "take it and run" and then it happened. 5 years later they are married, happy, and planning a child.

Similar Threads

  1. First sex with my virgin gf
    By charly26 in forum Sex
    Replies: 2
    Last Post: 03-13-2010, 02:51 PM
  2. Replies: 8
    Last Post: 10-16-2008, 08:25 AM
  3. Having Sex With a Virgin
    By Local Celebrity in forum Sex
    Replies: 6
    Last Post: 01-18-2007, 09:08 AM
  4. sex with a virgin
    By thundergod in forum Relationships
    Replies: 26
    Last Post: 05-02-2006, 02:58 PM

Bookmarks

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  • Forum Rules

Recommended


Daytime Dating



Magic Bullets



Beyond Words



Love Systems Routines Manual



The Ultimate Guide to Text and Phone Game



Interview Series



Love Systems Relationship Management



Love Systems Program Schedule





Facebook  Twitter