Discuss Q&A Session: Rokker Was Here(Finished) at the Rokker within the The Attraction Forums. Dating Advice.; Thanks for answering my question. I have another one for you, and it's about a ...
Thanks for answering my question. I have another one for you, and it's about a sticking point that I have.
Lot of times, I get attraction and have them chasing me, and maybe I over do it or something, but, even though they touch me, follow me around, re initiate convo... when I throw out hoops and do compliance test, they fight it. And it's hard to get qualifying and building comfort, and I tend to get stuck in attraction phase for too long. So I IOD her for not complying and then later test her again they refuse again.. So this continues, while they are following me around the club or bar. And when I show IOI to calibrate, they get colder. What can I do to turn these types of interactions around? And what am I doing wrong in the first place to make them so testy even though they're apparently interested?
Last edited by AFChimp; 08-16-2007 at 06:53 PM.
I'd like to ask Rokker what was the best piece of advice he ever got?
Yes I do have different stacks. In Day game I'm interested in finding out the logistics of the set pretty early in the interaction (so I know if I can instadate her or if I should go for the #-close) which is not a big concern in night game. I don't do that many routines in day game either, I rely (even) more on banter and vibing than night game where I have stories and threads I want to go down.
Originally Posted by Ment4ll
Sorry man, too broad of a question. Could you narrow it down a bit? Did you have any specific issue in mind?
Originally Posted by Szenya
Absolutely, add "being self-correcting and able to analyze and be honest with yourself" and you are spot on.
Originally Posted by seldomseen
I would say that you loose even more sets if you are afraid to escalate. Approach anxiety is a form of escalation, and many guys don't even get over that hurdle. After that it's escalating beyond attraction and to "be a closer". But you are right, the qualification stage is one of the most underrated stages in the model.
Originally Posted by seldomseen
Sounds to me that something's off in your delivery of the hoops. Maybe your not playful enough, and they come across really weird. Maybe you are too playful and they come off clownish. I would try to go to both extremes (really playful vs sincere) and see what works best for you (different hoops need to delivered slightly different, but in general don't be too serious - if you are you will notice a negative difference in the vibe afterwards)
Originally Posted by AFChimp
Also, start with small hoops first (eg "are you adventurous?") and work your way upwards to the bigger hoops ("beauty is common...").
a question about your/TMMīs bootcamps. i hope you can answer that here or via pm...i donīt really know where to ask questions like that.
are routines a huge part of the bootcamp? i mean, do you spend half a day or so on teaching students routines?
i ask because using routines is a no-no for me personally. i donīt have time to memorize and practise them and my natural conversation skills are usually...excellent. sooo, how much would i benefit from a bootcamp, where a lot of students are below my level?
and since iīm from europe: whatīs your price for a 1 on 1?
On my first bootcamp Sinn said something along the lines of "You will be forgiven for alot of your mistakes if you just keep talking. Be talkative!" which is very true. People who are good at pick-up are all very good at talking... a lot.
Originally Posted by Metroid
I also like what Sheriff said to me on the same bootcamp on having standards and knowing what you want:
"If you aim at nothing, you are going to hit nothing".
Nope, routines are NOT a big part of bootcamp. We teach the underlying principles and explain why routines work and what we want to accomplish with them, but we don't spend alot of time going through routine after routine.
Originally Posted by DonCapone
Bootcamps are not only for beginners. In field we adjust to what YOU need to practice on (that's why we have a good instructor - student ratio so we can make sure that everyone get the attention they need). Sure, the seminar is the same for all, but rest assured that you will never look at the theory the same way after you've taken a bootcamp - it's a major eye-opener having it explained instead of reading up on it yourself.
If you are interested in a 1 on 1 or want to know what it would cost to have me come to you, email jeremy at
Thanks. I did 4 sets today with a different mentality going in and it's actually so similar to what you said. Before I think I was too worried about having more value than the woman and it was just about THAT. They did chase me but it wasn't really fun or comfortable. Today I went to 2 different bars and I just forgot about all that and just relaxed, non threatening, fun, interesting vibe. While in the initial phases I was just doing that and they were interested but also showing interesting sides of themselves even without me having to worry about it and I was actually interested. And then I pushed further to get more kino going with hugs and kissing... First 2 sets were uncomfortable with kiss, but I wasn't worried about it, I just went back into fun vibe and talked about comfort topics and then got their numbers. The last 2 sets I tried going in for the kiss but actually stop, and then go back to fun vibe, and then go for the kiss, then stop and go back to fun vibe, repeat without actually kissing... I guess kind of like a tease... Then when I went for the kiss they were receptive to it, they were comfortable. I just did lips only kisses and then went back to teasing/making jokes/telling stories/building comfort, etc... I had alot of fun and it wasn't about who's in control or something. And what you just said really hit the spot!
Originally Posted by Rokker