Thread: Need some advice...was totally played and now am depressed

Originally Posted by johnlewis

Mike: Well what if she comes back first?
Rob: Mmmm... see, that's the thing, is somehow they know not to come back until you really forget.
Mike: There's the rub.
Rob: There's the rub.

So true.

Ok this post didn't make sense. Admin delete it please thanks.

And John you said that you are feeling real pain? Well it's actually real pain. It's dopamine withdrawal similar to cocaine withdrawal.

Read about love, neurotransmitters and hormones here:
The Brain in Love and Lust

From what I gather when you feel in love it's all dopamine, vasopressin, and oxytocin.
Your serotonin dips very low too. So you'll feel depressed without the dopamine. Take an antidepressant to fall out of love. It has worked for me. Read more about antidepressants and love here: 'Are antidepressants taking the edge off love?' by Susan Brink - RichardDawkins.net

Collective I have the post you deleted in my email box you should post it, it makes sense.

If you need a copy sending give us a shout

But yeah these emotions they feel - I get deppression - i have to take meds all the time or otherwise i get really down - runs in the family.

EMOTIONS -
When I try to explain something like this to a woman they usually shrug it off - dont let it into their reality.

Hey guys.

So far the material form the community i have read has been more on sparkin attraction. I guess i never really learnt much about relationship game and keeping the attraction alive and maybe that was why what happened...happened. I do stil disagree with the way she handled things. She could have broke up with me instead of waiting and securing a backup.

Anyway, there was something i wanted to ask you guys that was on my mind. You see, I kind of found out about this guy and what he did for my ex etc etc through friends. It turns out that this guy is the stereotypical AFC nice guy. He basically did everything for her and gave non stop supplication to her. Cooked for her, helped her with her work, chocolates etc etc. He did not provide any challenge whatsoever for her. I am pretty sure these facts are true from what i have found out. Doesnt this go against the teachings of the community? How was she able to feel attraction for him considering all he did was give his power away to her? Do girls really fall in love that easily??if that was true, then even I would be able to pick a girl and jsut keep showering her with stuff until she falls in love with me no?I dont think that is the way it works. However, I am not experienced and i do think you guys would know better and that is why i would want to hear about your opinions.

Do girls fall for guys like that? If not, do girls actually keep the guy around just for the perks??i would like to think that isnt true..From what i have heard...she seems to really like him. They are few months in and they only seem to be getting closer. How is a relationship like that supposed to last?

If he is rich (or richer than you) then yes its common for them to just choose guys like that "He is rich will buy me stuff and be my bitch."
The only sacrifice made to her is ditching her boyfreind.

One of my EX girls did this - she would have a "switch over period" like women have this 6th sense - and she would start grooming up guys orwhatever she did and hop from one to another - Its her surviving it worked for her in the past and women wil not change what works for them.

Johnlewis this appears to be your "i got burned badge" it will drive you on to better things.

Originally Posted by johnlewis

Hey guys.

So far the material form the community i have read has been more on sparkin attraction. I guess i never really learnt much about relationship game and keeping the attraction alive and maybe that was why what happened...happened. I do stil disagree with the way she handled things. She could have broke up with me instead of waiting and securing a backup.

Anyway, there was something i wanted to ask you guys that was on my mind. You see, I kind of found out about this guy and what he did for my ex etc etc through friends. It turns out that this guy is the stereotypical AFC nice guy. He basically did everything for her and gave non stop supplication to her. Cooked for her, helped her with her work, chocolates etc etc. He did not provide any challenge whatsoever for her. I am pretty sure these facts are true from what i have found out. Doesnt this go against the teachings of the community? How was she able to feel attraction for him considering all he did was give his power away to her? Do girls really fall in love that easily??if that was true, then even I would be able to pick a girl and jsut keep showering her with stuff until she falls in love with me no?I dont think that is the way it works. However, I am not experienced and i do think you guys would know better and that is why i would want to hear about your opinions.

Do girls fall for guys like that? If not, do girls actually keep the guy around just for the perks??i would like to think that isnt true..From what i have heard...she seems to really like him. They are few months in and they only seem to be getting closer. How is a relationship like that supposed to last?

Girls fall for guys who flip their attraction switches, it doesn't mean you need to be an ass, it means you need to have: social intuition, health, wealth, status/value, etc... Read back a few posts to remember that attraction isn't a choice mate. Now it has to be strong for her to be willing to forfeit her entire investment in you (or that you're investment was no longer worth it) Collective got into that.

And yes, she did handle the situation poorly, but girls will be girls.

Keep in mind that 9/10 people on these forums don't know anything about maintaining a relationship and what they consider a relationship is 'how can I keep this girl around to keep having sex with me' to me that is far from the same thing.

John, AFCs have plenty of relationships some of them even get married (to mostly unattractive women with very low self-esteem.).

I really think it depends on whether a girl is an HB 1-7 or HB 8-10. If she's a HB 1-7 she'll put up with a lot of AFC supplication because she really doesn't have many options. Self-esteem plays a major role too, plus this guy is a rebound. There's so many factors.

I know many believe that beauty is in the eye of the beholder but I believe society dictates that number more accurately. My last girlfriend was an HB9 that was a bartender that had about 10 fucking orbiters circling her like vultures waiting for me to fuck up. And when our relationship was in turmoil I see one of my band mates which was an old friend step up to the challenge. TRUST NO ONE when it comes to beautiful vagina. Women hate other 'beautiful' women and all your bros want to fuck them or love them.

This may all sound bleak but don't give up. There's no guarantees for success with women so be skeptical about everything you read in this community. It may help with the pain for a bit but honestly either drugs or time can only help. Don't let her drain your confidence and self-esteem. Many guys join his community because of a bad breakup. They are desperate to fill the void and feel powerless. A lot of people say go fuck 10 other people NOW, but that's only a superficial cure to an existential pain.

I've fucked 4 people after my ex and she still haunts my dreams and I'm still in love with her. One night stands are fucking worthless imo. There's no depth. People just want to feel power and control after they feel they've lost it when the person they loved betrayed them so try to maintain power by having sexual dominance over some stranger. Don't blame anyone not even yourself. Blame is beta.

I say start exercising and hanging out with close friends. Start a new hobby. Don't rationalize her actions. They are emotion based. There's no logic to what women do.

Originally Posted by johnlewis

Do girls fall for guys like that? If not, do girls actually keep the guy around just for the perks??i would like to think that isnt true..From what i have heard...she seems to really like him. They are few months in and they only seem to be getting closer. How is a relationship like that supposed to last?

It's a lot more complicated than AFC vs. PUA. See, there are guys who supplicate and buy chicks dinner just to get into their pants. Usually it's blatantly obvious that they only do nice things to get something out. Those are stereotypical "nice guys," and in my experience when they don't get what they want, their niceness quickly turns to resentment.

Then there are the guys who do nice things because they're nice, but don't have a spine to set boundaries. The girl may get with them at first, but the relationship usually fizzes once the girl finds out she can carry the dude's balls in her purse.

Lastly, there are guys who do nice things AND know how to set boundaries. Those are the guys who generally have successful relationships. In my experience, if a guy is an asshole, he can maintain attraction, but his relationships turn out unhealthy and if the girl has any self-esteem, she'll usually bail.

There is nothing wrong with doing nice things for a girl as long as you're not doing them to get something out of her, and you make sure she deserves them and doesn't cross your boundaries. It's give-and-take. A good relationship is where two people do nice things for each because they care about each others' well-being. Problems start to arise when the niceness comes from a place of neediness or becomes one-sided.

My 2 cents,

Rogue

Originally Posted by TheCollective

I say start exercising and hanging out with close friends. Start a new hobby. Don't rationalize her actions. They are emotion based. There's no logic to what women do.

You should put this under your CTRL + K (paste) and use it in 5 threads a day.