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How to get your ex-girlfriend back

Discuss How to get your ex-girlfriend back at the Relationships within the The Attraction Forums. Dating Advice.; Originally Posted by Evo 69081 Just Broke up with my girlfriend and yeah i dont ...

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  1. #11
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    Quote Originally Posted by Evo 69081 View Post
    Just Broke up with my girlfriend and yeah i dont want her back just want to know where i went wrong, how to fix it so if i want to go back down the track i have it sorted.

    I just look at it like this. Im an awsome guy and shes lost out bigtime. However im not naieve and know i can improve
    I think they have talked about this on the newsletter. Check it out. Also giving free phone consultation.


    /relationships/96856-insecurities-cheating.html

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  2. #12
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    How many months it's ok to establish contact again? three, four?

  3. #13
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    Quote Originally Posted by charly26 View Post
    How many months it's ok to establish contact again? three, four?
    About. Or you can always just wait until she tries to reach you again. She eventually will.
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  4. #14
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    Quote Originally Posted by SharpSh00t3r View Post
    About. Or you can always just wait until she tries to reach you again. She eventually will.
    About.?
    did you forget to write a number of months, my friend?

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    i wouldnt put a number on it..

    its more like

    you can contact her when you are over her. that means, you could see her and her new BF/fuck buddies and not give two shits

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    Restore understands me >
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    There is one thing that I must add to the post that Savoy initiated though.

    Although what he says is quite true, if the reason why you got dumped in the first place was because you lied to her (not admitting that you lied after the fact is even worse), treated her poorly or was just a general ass you must make ammends.

    This should be done early after the breakup. It should be honest and truthful. Do show some remorse if you need to, it's only normal, but don't hint at any getting back together, seeing her, feeling sorry for yourself. Just acknowledge that she was right, apologize and move on.

    After, that proceed as was directed by Savoy.

    No wowen, should ever be lied to. I learned that the hard way and sadly that is true for a lot of us. First off, they will find out and secondly, if they don't officially do, they will always doubt. Doubt is a viral emotion. It will creep up on her slowly but surely until it is impossible for her to move on with you. She will have to leave the toxic situation.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Savoy View Post
    Hey guys -- I published this in yesterday's LSi it seems some people didn't get it and have been asking. So instead of spending this sunny Saturday emailing, I decided to take the lazy route and repost it here.

    (If you didn't get this in your mailbox, you need to tell your email program to stop blocking Love Systems dating tips. There are quick instructions here:

    http://www.lovesystems.com/whitelist)



    Mailbag – May 2009


    Hi Savoy.

    Where the hell were you guys 10 years ago?

    On New Year’s Eve I decided to change my life. Either Love Systems was going to help me sort out women and dating, or it wasn’t. I read Magic Bullets and the Routines Manual (Volume 1 but I can’t wait to get Volume 2) and whenever I wanted more detail on something, I just went to the audio catalogue. BTW, you should be careful about making 10 minutes on every interview since those first 10 minutes give A LOT away.

    You’ve heard this story before, I’m sure. I’ve had my first one night stand, my first threesome, and even dated a minor celebrity (a well-known local TV personality – I’ll send you a pic since I’m sure you haven’t heard of her in Cali). My married friends think I’m having a mid-life crisis, but I can see they’re jealous. Two of my single friends have started reading Magic Bullets, and we’re already a dangerous pack together despite being a bit older than most single men.

    So get this. I can get (almost) any girl I want, but I’m starting to think that the girl I really want is my ex-girlfriend. Any tips for me?

    - Randall T., Grand Junction, CO


    Hey Randall,

    I get a few “get my ex” back questions every day. It’s about time I answered. Here goes:

    1) Make sure she really is worth this effort.

    Read the classic Love Systems “Kill Beatrice” post by Hall of Fame instructor “Future”:

    The Real Savoy: CLASSIC POST: "Kill Beatrice"

    Seriously. Go read it. This LSi will still be here when you get back.

    Also make sure you’re not into this because she’s “the one who got away”. Lots of women got away before you started with Love Systems and if she’s the one you think about, then it’s natural to want what you can’t have. But if you get her back – are you sure you’re going to want her? Or will the attraction disappear when she’s not a challenge?

    If it’s even partly the latter, stay away. I don’t want to get all preachy, but you can do a lot more damage playing on your ex’s feelings than you could flirting with a new girl.

    2) Do you think your ex is “as good as you’re going to get”?

    The irony here is that if you feel that way, you’re unlikely to get her back. And if you do get her back, you’re going to lose her…again.

    You MUST get over this hump. Or you will repeat the cycle.

    Back when I used to do phone consultations, I saw this way too often. A client would take my advice on how to get her back but ignore the inner game stuff necessary to keep her. I’m told from other instructors (who do phone consultations) that this still happens.

    I can’t solve inner game issues in a few paragraphs – we have a highly popular all-day seminar for that, led by the experts:

    Inner Game - Love Systems - Formerly the Mystery Method Corp. - Pickup artist skills and dating advice

    No matter how great she is, you can date women who are equally interesting. You got her, right? Why can’t you get someone of equal quality again?

    Unless you are 100% convinced (really convinced…not faking it) that you can attract women at and above her level, you WILL lose her.

    I dish out the straight goods (no sensitive ears, please) in the Relationship Management course. Check out some of the free videos here:

    Savoy's Relationship Management DVD Course - Love Systems - Formerly the Mystery Method Corp. - Pickup artist skills and dating advice


    3) Minimize contact with her for a few months.


    Let me list a few things that are unattractive to most women:

    • Big, fat, hairy beer bellies
    • Their best friend’s kid brother who follows them around like a puppy dog
    • Adult diapers
    • The ex-boyfriend who hangs around everywhere and wants her back


    If you want her back, it will show. You need some distance.

    Even if you think it won’t show, or that you’re “not doing anything” -- it probably will and you probably are, even without noticing.

    Say you and her happen to be at the same party. You’re minding your own business and having fun. All cool right? But she might think it’s “weird” or want to hook up with someone and see your presence as a “cockblock” – even if you’re not remotely paying attention to what she’s doing.

    And then she can get frustrated and feel like you’re stalking, or not over her yet (some women’s favorite stories to tell revolve exclusively around “men who want me”), and so on.

    And then she’ll actually believe it.

    Even if it’s completely illogical. In Love Systems, it’s emotion, not logic.



    4) If you’re in her social circle…

    Maybe you have friends in common and you’re in the same extended social circle.

    In that case, minimize your time together without making it seem like you’re going out of your way to avoid her.

    Don’t talk about her. If someone brings her up and placid silence isn’t an option, be positive about her and change the subject. This goes double for her dating life. It goes triple for the breakup.

    Don’t show off. Don’t go out of your way to bring other women around her or mutual friends. Live your life and do what you’d normally do, but err on the side of caution.

    Yes, Pre-selection (being attractive to other women) is one of the key things that attract especially beautiful women. But you don’t want her to feel that you are pre-selected bit by bit. When you re-initiate in a few months (see below), you want it to be a big bang.

    You want her wondering, “who is this guy I let get away?”


    5) Change

    Something about you should change before you re-initiate contact.

    (We’ll get to the biggest change you need to make, next)

    Whether it’s a new job, a new hobby, a change to your dress style, something – and it need only be one thing – should change.

    Since women are attracted first and then figure out the “reasons” later, you want to make it as easy as possible for women to find reasons to be interested in you, once you’ve hit some attraction spikes.

    If this concept is new to you, I really think you could benefit from reading my book, Magic Bullets, which is full of ready-to-use techniques like this. Also download the free chapters and try for yourself:

    Magic Bullets the award-winning step-by-step guide to seduction and being a pickup artist, by Savoy - Love Systems - Formerly the Mystery Method Corp. - Pickup artist skills and dating advice

    These “reasons” can be arbitrary. I’ve had women insist…INSIST that they slept with me because I’m a Libra and Libras are so balanced and in touch with themselves. Or because I drink gin. Or because I have “nice eyes”.

    They even believe it at the time. In reality, they slept with me because I ran them through the Love Systems Triad Model (from the Routines Manual Vol 2) which made them FEEL that they wanted me. Only afterwards did they look for reasons.

    So you need to help her out with some kind of arbitrary change so she notices something different when you re-initiate contact.

    This also reinforces that you should stay away from her in the meantime. It’s hard to notice change when you’re too close. You’ll never see the grass grow by staring at it.


    6) Get Better with Women in General

    Yes, I know you’re still convinced you just want that one girl.

    I don’t care. In fact, I won’t even believe you until you’ve shown me that you can get women who are as attractive (or more) than her, and that you still want her. Otherwise my guess is you’re rationalizing, just like a woman who sleeps with me because I’m a Libra.

    But even if I did believe you, I still wouldn’t care. You still need to get better with women in general.

    Think of top golfer Tiger Woods. He rarely trains for any specific golf course. He practices the fundamentals of golf – driving, putting, and so on.

    Maybe before a tournament he refreshes a bit on the course, but that’s it. Tiger Woods gets better at golf; he doesn’t get better at a specific golf course.

    For all of this to have an effect, you need to get better with women in general.

    (Usually that means a bootcamp or one-on-one coaching. But you can also make a ton of progress using Magic Bullets with Volume 2 of the Routines Manual and sorting out any gaps with the advanced interview series.)

    Learn the skills. Get experience using them. Success breeds success. Women can “smell” a man who is comfortable with beautiful women and able to keep up with them. And men who are not.

    For a real-life example of this – how a stand-offish“10” turned into a very sexual, threesome-loving dream girl, and how to seduce a runway model from the Playboy Mansion, read this classic field report:

    The Real Savoy: Threesomes, Runway Models, and the power of frames (part I)

    (It’s in two part…so when you hit the bottom of the post, there’s a thing that says click here for part II)


    7) Then, and only then, re-initiate contact


    When you’re ready – that is, when you are confidently and consistently attracting women who are as attractive as her or better – only then can you re-initiate contact with her from a position of strength.

    Whatever you do, when you re-initiate USE THE LOVE SYSTEMS TRIAD. If you make her feel emotionally close to you but not physically (or you miss the opportunity physically because your logistics were wrong) you’ll doom yourself to yet more time in “Let’s Just Be Friends” land.

    This is an especially big risk if you guys have already broken up once. The Triad is a special part of Volume 2 of the Love Systems Routines Manual:
    Love Systems Routines Manual Vol. II - Love Systems - Formerly the Mystery Method Corp. - Pickup artist skills and dating advice

    8) Don’t mess it up again.


    When you re-initiate contact with her, act like you’re in the “Dating/Undefined” category of relationships.
    The Relationship Management DVDs break relationships down into 6 categories – including traditional relationships, multiple relationships, friends with benefits, etc.
    Dating/Undefined is somewhat like treating every time you see her as the 2nd or 3rd date. Have that frame.
    If you’re not familiar with this, learn Love Systems Relationship Management. It covers everything from how to get into every kind of relationship (one girlfriend, threesomes, multiple girlfriends, one night stands, hookups, etc.), how to manage each one, how to move between, and more.

    It’s also the only place where we released “the model” – how you can predict when and how your girlfriend might cheat and also what you can do about it (it’s not what you think):

    Savoy's Relationship Management DVD Course - Love Systems - Formerly the Mystery Method Corp. - Pickup artist skills and dating advice

    It’s gone wrong once. Don’t let it go wrong again. My current girlfriend and I have broken up a couple of times, so I know where you’re coming from.

    Good luck,

    Savoy

    Very useful post. Has helped alot.

    but one question to you..

    How can i stop my mind to feel jealous about her?

    How can I accept that she would have another man, relationship and let her go from my mind? It s not so simple to erase a person you was a year together from you life.

    Thanks fo kill Beatrice, help alot to reprogramm my mind.

  9. #19
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    You could talk to her and see whether she wants to get back together with you...its really important to know how she really about the situation! Why don't you try this? It worked for me! http://exnolonger.blogspot.com/

  10. #20
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    Balls. Talk and discuss is last thing to do.

    He could work on himself, to become a man worth to be with. Otherwise she will leave him again, this time much faster.

    DID you read what Savoy wrote above ?

    For myself "Ex2_System" is the book worth to follow.
    ---

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