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Discuss how to break up and stay friends at the Relationships within the The Attraction Forums. Dating Advice.; how to break up and stay friends I've been with this girl for over a ...
  1. #1
    Hicx Guest

    how to break up and stay friends

    I've been with this girl for over a year now. It was awesome in the beginning and I still like being with her, talking etc. And she is really into me, I mean REALLY, like in love and she is overly jealous too! Nearly obsessed. Thing is, even though I like hanging out with her, I no longer... well, want to be in a intimate relationship.

    So, the question is how do I break up and maintain friendly relationship afterwards? Making her think she is the one who wants to end it would be even better.



  2. #2
    Vapor is offline Administrator Emeritus
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    There's no easy way to break up an LTR where she's in love with you. You gotta be a man and do it.

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    Reject her. No more sex. Ever. Expect never to be friends with her, and be honest about why you want to break up with her. Tell her it's because you can't take the jealousy, and think she deserves better. Breaking up is never fun and DLVing yourself is kind of par for the course... who wants to come across as arrogant and dismissive in a breakup? Worst time for it.

    She's going to think you're cheating on her. She's expecting it. So just tell her that there is no one, and expect her to try to hack into email or anything that has clues. If it gets to be too much where she's threatening you and stalking you, then you might have to take legal action.

    The risk is losing her completely and having her resentful and telling friends all the worst stuff about you and out to make your life miserable. Or she might just cut herself off from you.

    And if you think you can get her to dump you, think again. I've tried it. They all wanted me to be the one to "officially" break up.

    It could take months.

    But start creating some distance from her and see where that goes first. You might miss her more than she misses you.

    Quote Originally Posted by Hicx View Post
    I've been with this girl for over a year now. It was awesome in the beginning and I still like being with her, talking etc. And she is really into me, I mean REALLY, like in love and she is overly jealous too! Nearly obsessed. Thing is, even though I like hanging out with her, I no longer... well, want to be in a intimate relationship.

    So, the question is how do I break up and maintain friendly relationship afterwards? Making her think she is the one who wants to end it would be even better.

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    Why do you want to be friends with her? Be honest with yourself..

    The RIGHT thing to do would be to break up with her..and let her decide if she wants to be friends with you still.. she should probably take time to get over you first..otherwise it could be very painful for her.

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    +1 to Femme and + 1 to SD,

    Let her decide if she wants to be friends. Let her know you are open and ready for it if she decides to. Be honest during the breakup, with a little tenderness and consider her feelings. Show that you DO care, but that you cannot handle being ina relationship anymore. Don't give her false hope and moist importantly, think it through and make sure this is the right decision for yourself. If it helps, write down all the pros and cons of the relationship and then decide if this is the correct move to make. The worst though is someone telling them a bunch of bs. Nothing hurts more than when someone breaks up with you and does:

    1) let's just be friends crap
    2) its not you it's me
    3) maybe one day in the future we can get back together
    4) I don't want to be with anyone right now.

    Those kind of lines hurt more because usually at first they may even want to believe them because they still care about you or vice versa (if you are one getting broken up with) and usually the realization sets in a few months down the line that it was all BULLSHIT and there is not possibility of a friendship after someone feels lied to or abused in the end.

  6. #6
    Led
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    Break it off and get out of her life. Disappear. It will take time. If in time she decides that she still values the non sexual aspect of your relationship she will come around.
    Don't have any 'breakup sex' or one last time sex, and don;t suggest you could still be FB's (like I did when I was about 23 and nearly got killed, rightly so)
    "Crackheads have six-packs for a reason, and it's not cable crunches" - Vapor

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    just be a man about it ....breeaaak upp ..its gonna be worse if u stay in it

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