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How do I get her to commit and spend more time with me? Any advice appreciated
Hi guys would much appreciate some advice on this situation im struggling to find direction.
I got together with a girl about two months ago. Up until that point we had been working together for 9 months and got to know each other really well. She finished with a guy who she had been with for five years/started living with and jumped straight into a relationship with me. She had been unhappy with him and If im honest I was also part of the reason.
Initially she told me that she wanted to spend all her time with me, This has died down. It seems that she has rediscovered her social life after moving out from her bloke which I can understand. She also told me she loved me quite earlier on and then things started to get a bit routine, calling each other every day, long conversations, all very predictable. Now I probably only see her 1-2 times a week. The time we spend together is amazing, however its always me trying to arrange time to see her, she isnít very forth coming at requesting time to see me. She always agree to see me but never requests to see me more regularly.
Its my birthday on Monday, and ive been a bit pissed off because she has not mentioned it, so this week I backed right off, acted a bit more unpredictable but tried to stayed unphased and cool. It worked, Yesterday she called and asked if she could see me this Sunday to celebrate my b day.
My issue is I wanna spend more time with her, shes not introduced me to her family or friends yet and im worried about this. How do get more commitment from her, or is this me expecting to much because she has just come out of a long term relationship.
To be honest I am really into her, do I have to except that I have to back off and continue to play game to keep her and create interest, or should I jus tell her how I feel and wanna see her more?
Sorry so many questions guys my heads spinnin
DEFINITELY do NOT tell her that you want to see her more. It will almost certainly cause her to lose attraction for you.
The man's job is to try to keep things casual for as long as possible - escalating commitment levels and trying to "win you over" is the woman's job.
It seems that things have basically settled into a pattern and she no longer finds you as emotionally stimulating as she once did - thus, she does not feel as compelled as she once did to spend time with you.
The solution here is to become more emotionally stimulating so that SHE naturally WANTS and feels EMOTIONALLY COMPELLED to spend more time with you, like she did before. Be more busy and less available, be more unpredictable, shake things up, break any patterns you've established.
Armband, thanks mate, that makes a lot of sense and really appreciate your advice. Im already starting to feel needy and it will be the death of things if i dont sort it. I gotta pull back and be more unpredictable.
Originally Posted by armband
Thanks dude i feel better already ;o)