Thread: Screwed up relationship (really bad)

Hi I was with a girl that was totally incredible
I did everything right in the beginning, because I wasn't so in to her at first.
She made all the calls and so forth, then it all turned around and I started getting more and more needy, by talking all night long on the phone, sending messages and all the stuff you never should do.

One day she just started acting strange, and cancelled meetings and so on. I started to wonder what just happened, and after 2 weeks she said she didn't have any feelings for me anymore. Then I did the most AFC thing ever and went to her house begging her to take me back, and she did.

Then we were together for 3 months, and my mind was totally screwed up, 'cause I knew she was only together with me because I begged, and she didn't really want me, so I became even more needy. And to make a long story short, she won't even talk to me anymore, and I made a complete fool of myself.

The problem I have now, is that I can't feel anything for another woman, I've gone out with some very attractive women the past few months, and I just don't get it. And every time I see something that reminds me of my ex. I still kinda freak out, and it's been 4 months since that ended.

I know the worst thing I can do is to try getting her back, even though I know I'm far more attractive now, since I've read a lot more, and won't make those needy mistakes again. But she's really the only woman I really want.

Any ideas?

One-itis. It's over with that chick. Live and Learn. Onward and Upward. Use the experience as a life lesson of what NOT to do with the next girls. You're not getting this one back. Maintain your dignity and move on.

Your totally not gonna get her, AND I hope you won't.
Believe me, this feeling will go away soon.

Learn from your mistakes...and move on... if you really badly want her back, you really need to work on your inner game .. 4 months is not enough.. this is a serious issue for you, and you need to fix YOU first before you try to get her back. When you get to that stage where you dont care as much about getting her back, THEN you can possibly attempt something. Right now, you really should be focusing on yourself, not on women.

What I would like to know is, how did you go from PUA to AFC?

List it here:

What did she do to influence this?

What mistakes did you make?

Its important for you to know this, so that it doesnt happen again.

Originally Posted by FemmeFatale

Learn from your mistakes...and move on... if you really badly want her back, you really need to work on your inner game .. 4 months is not enough.. this is a serious issue for you, and you need to fix YOU first before you try to get her back. When you get to that stage where you dont care as much about getting her back, THEN you can possibly attempt something. Right now, you really should be focusing on yourself, not on women.

What I would like to know is, how did you go from PUA to AFC?

List it here:

What did she do to influence this?

What mistakes did you make?

Its important for you to know this, so that it doesnt happen again.

thanks for the reply, I guess what made me go back to AFC was that I was convinced that my begging somewhat was the key til getting her back at the first place, then I thought that was the way to go through the rest of the relationship.

She really was kind of an asshole to me, and I just behaved like a puppy.
I know my biggest mistake was to make her my whole reality, I just got too needy in every situation.

That girl was kinda my best friend too, we had everything in common, that's why I miss her so much. She was extremely sad too, but I guess I was just in her friend zone during the whole relationship, and I got pissed 'cause she didn't show any feelings for me, (which I know is extremly stupid), so now things are so bad we cannot talk to each other

As of today I really have started meeting others, so I guess my inner game is on its way up

That's why dating at least 2 girls keeps you from getting clingy and desperate (behaviors that REALLY turn off women).

I've been through it. Begging, whatever you want to call it. Lowering your dignity to the pits of hell. And I wont lie, its a long way back up, but it is worth it. The girl which had me like that taught me some of the best lessons anyone ever could. I appreciated the experience, and now I move forward. So hang in there.

Originally Posted by _Game_

I've been through it. Begging, whatever you want to call it. Lowering your dignity to the pits of hell. And I wont lie, its a long way back up, but it is worth it. The girl which had me like that taught me some of the best lessons anyone ever could. I appreciated the experience, and now I move forward. So hang in there.

yeah i guess you're right, things are going better and thanks to the PUA community/books I've been able to start seeing other girls, so I guess the road is long but I know at least I'm on it.

I really hope I never get to see her again, but I know I will this spring in a work thing we both have....sucks, but I know the best way to go is to not care, or at least try to not show it.

BTW thanks for all the replies on this thread, I think I have all the help that I need

Dave, by the way how long were you with her?

How was she an asshole to you/ how did you act like a puppie? Please elaborate on those issues.

I understand the pain, but getting back together with her through begging must have been awful. Sometimes it is better to be with women that you don't have as much in common so you don't feel like you are dating yourself... but I understand why on your end that was a great thing and maybe it could have been... but odds are if she was treating you that way then probably not.

Find someone that can appreciate you. I am going through a rough patch in my relationship and it may or may not end and it hurts man so I feel your pain. Hang in there, and the fact that you have been going out with other attractive women speaks very highly of you... Keep at it you'll find one you like soon enough.

I had a similar experience with my ex. I would literally see a well endowed girl on television and cringe and get really depressed. I would watch movies we watched together, and cringe and get really sad. I would check her facebook from time to time just to see if she was with anyone else (she wasn't.) I would feel awkward around other people. It sucked. I would think about her every day. I couldn't help it. But, as time went on the frequency at which I talked to her went down, and slowly I got over it. But I had major one-itis with her and this is what you have too. The key is just not to think about her, and start living in the now instead of the past.

I can tell, you really just want to blow her away with the new you, but you can't do this right now. Wait a year, maybe two, then run into her again, but right now focus on your new love life and the new, wonderful, not mind fucking girls you are meeting.