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Discuss LTR 5yr Stay? Go? SARGE!! at the Relationships within the The Attraction Forums. Dating Advice.; LTR 5yr Stay? Go? SARGE!! There are so many damn threads on this forum it ...
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    LTR 5yr Stay? Go? SARGE!!

    There are so many damn threads on this forum it takes forever to search.
    Well, love. By that I mean I appreciate all of you because we all have the passion and determination to SERIOUSLY improve ourselves. Which leads to my dilemma.

    I have been sarging from Mi to NY and now CT for almost a year. MUCH MUCH Improved! My fiance/girlfriend wants to go out and open sets, build attraction, etc, You know the fun part of the game. I have always turned sets into LJBF with sexual tension out of respect for my girl.

    Problem, she is not dedicated to self improvement! GYM, Community Service, Learning Languages, meeting people, traveling, Business, Martial Arts. All the things I LOVE, she is very slooooooowww in pursuing her/my ambitions. She talks about it with the Most Passion any of you have ever seen, but when it comes down to it excuses run like AFC's to the Bar! Just before you say "I'm pushing it", half of these are her interests I picked up! I'm debating whether I want to stay in a relationship that is full of broken promises.

    I will fight the urge to vent! I'll save that for Off Topic.

    Bottom Line: How can I use "The Art", as I call it (sounds better that way), to help her along her goals, build more compliance, and get out there to practice in a way she will accept!

    *I welcome all opinions
    ** Please don't say any stereotypical shit, I already thought of that!


    Ali
    Software Engineer
    Currently Struggling With:Threads
    Strengths: C1 - Comfort Building

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    For me I got my girl into bodybuilding by just being excited about it and not pushing her to do it what-so-ever. Soon as she started to build a little jealousy as my body became hotter than hers and girls were hitting on me in front of her she started to work out and go into self improvement. It will not last long; but definately it's a benefit. It's possible to get them excited; but as you said they have to follow through.

    It may be that she is not the type who will follow through and your right; it would be time to move on and find a girl who will follow through and do what you expect of your girlfriend. Have you called her on this yet? If so; how did that go? Is it open enough of a relationship that you can jokingly call her on it and dig out the reasons why she isn't going through with it? If it's laziness and/or energy, try to help her with diet; that causes a lot of problems with many women I know, they eat like shit (not enough or bad foods) and are always lacking the energy to do anything. Fix the diet and they all of a sudden have more energy and can get out and do those things you want to do with them.

    Just a thought from a newby on the boards. =)

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    Quote Originally Posted by rhali786 View Post

    Problem, she is not dedicated to self improvement! GYM, Community Service, Learning Languages, meeting people, traveling, Business, Martial Arts. All the things I LOVE, she is very slooooooowww in pursuing her/my ambitions. !
    Are these your ambitions or hers? Sometimes women, once they become whipped by a man, copy the guys interests to be more "cool and interesting" to him. If this is what your current girlfriend is doing, then there is nothing you can do to get her fully into it..she may even start some things up.. but she'll never be on the same level as you. You cant FORCE someone to be passionate about learning languages, or business news. She might learn a few things to throw back at you and impress you but thats as far as she will go.
    In terms of her.. does she herself have any real interests?
    I could be wrong.. these could be her real interests, or at least some of them.. she could just be very lazy in doing something about it. There some things that also just cant be forced.. its like with a baby.. you try force the baby to do something and the baby wont do it.. then when you stop forcing the baby all of a sudden a few months later the baby is doing it for some attention and praise.
    Personaly ive been there and there have been things that my boyfriend has been trying to explain to me or certain views , because he was forcing it so much on me, i just didnt see it his way.. then once he stopped and accepted it, all of a sudden aha, it comes to me. Then hed be like "i was telling you this ages ago...how come all of a sudden now you're like this".. well some things just cant be forced.. when you force people into something, its human nature to rebel against it.


    As far as staying in shape and taking care of yourself i think i really cant help you there.. it depends on the person... personally if i gain even 2lbs (1kg), I go on a diet. My boyfriend thinks its insane, but ..1 by 1 and it builds up. Him on the other hand..he goes on a holiday and comes back 10lbs heavier...Hes a huge soccer fan, I'm not... I dont even know the names of all the players.. and i'm not going to force myself to get into it just because he likes it.. because i dont need to impress him.. however, i do often get us great tickets just as a treat for him..and i'll go with him and we'll share his interest in it..and i'll happily listen to him go on and on about a certain player or a certain game.. but thats as far as its ever going to go.

    If she loses herself completely and takes on all your interests and your way of thinking, she will become boring to you. She'll lose herself.

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