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06-19-2008, 05:04 AM #11
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- Oct 2007
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I'm not sure I really agree with you guys here... I've made it a point to not hang out much or talk on the phone to keep it out of "relationship" land... But when she comes over she does stay the night, I do open doors for her, we catch dinner (I even cooked last time) now and then... So maybe logically I've kept it from a relationship, but not emotionally (for her)?
Damn TrueStory... One a week can be too much? She invites me to things all the time, but I don't usually go. Thought this would have had the reverse effect? I mean come on, alot of people break up due to not enough time together.
Thanks for the feedback guys. Since this post keeps going, there is one other thing I thought about. I made it vague about whether or not I'm seeing anybody else (told her there are other woman in my life), and sometimes she makes wise cracks about what I'm up to when I'm not with her. Example: The other night she called for a booty call, and I couldn't make it. So she commented "how often do I turn down booty calls". To which I just laughed, and she made a comment "wait, don't answer that, I don't want to know".
Leaving an impression that I'm sleeping with other girls could have helped trigger this...
06-19-2008, 05:24 AM #12
Seriously, you two have dinner together, she spends the night with you and you plan a weekend away. I don't know how this could NOT sound relationship-y!
I made it vague about whether or not I'm seeing anybody else (told her there are other woman in my life), and sometimes she makes wise cracks about what I'm up to when I'm not with her... Leaving an impression that I'm sleeping with other girls could have helped trigger this...
Vapor's right that most calibrated girls won't keep doing the MLTR thing for too long. Just from personal experience, either the guy or the girl begins to get too attached. In my case, I was confused by the mixed messages (boyfriend v FB) and decide to end it before it got more confusing and becames painful.
You sound pretty definite about not being with her exclusively, and I think in some ways you're making this more difficult for yourself than it needs to be. You knew from the very first post what you needed to do ("tell her that I can't give her that")... you just have to say this ASAP before you overthink the whole thing even more and make the conversation more stressful than it has to be.
Good luck and let us know how it goes!
07-02-2008, 06:12 PM #13
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- Apr 2008
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She was ok at first because she wasnt emotionally involved..it has nothing to do with it being gross...because if that was the issue, then she would have found it gross from the start. In my opinion, her reaction will depend on how much confidence she has in herself.. if shes emotionally invested in you and you tell her you'll continue to sleep around.. if she places very low value on herself and very high value on you, she could possibly stick around and put up with how its making her feel just to be with you.. (coz you're so damn awesome).. but if she does place higher value on herself and you as well, then you'll have a battle on your hands.
07-02-2008, 06:53 PM #14
FemmeFatale, something tells me you forgot to mention that this "relationship" is "Destination Hell".
Low self esteem girls will try ridiculously outrageous things just to keep a man around. From "forgetting" to take her pill, to constant drama and validation seeking shit tests, and not to mention devious jealousy plot lines (that can potentially ruin your relationship with YOUR friends).
A healthy relationship, even a fuck-buddy-relationship has to be based on equal value system. Even a fuck buddy that believes that she's not worthy of being with you, can get needy and emotionally attached.
I really like Sam's explanation. I can relate to similar experience in my life.
Be careful with this girl. It might be too late.
Oh and to answer your question "once a week is too much?" is really not what I wanted to say. It might sound like I contradict myself here, but what really matters is HOW you spend your time together not HOW MUCH.