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I dont wanna make this too ...
Need help w/ handling a flaky chick, shes hot/cold
I dont wanna make this too long for ppl to read, but I figure I need to provide some background. I just broke off my gf (Nina) of 5 years for this office hottie named Nikki. I cheated on my gf with this girl. Nikki chased me and made it obvious that she was interested and attracted to me. I keep shit light, Im not a pro at this mystery method stuff, but Ive read alot and try to use the tactics that Ive picked up. So Nikki and I have slept together a few times, we hang-out, she makes plans in advance, she even dropped the "L" bomb on me after a week of seeing eachother. The problem is, is that she's scared that she might be the rebound girl. I told her that I didnt have any feelings for Nina anymore. Im known around the office as the office whore I guess, ive had 5 other girls from the office while in my 5 year relationship with Nina and Nikki knows this. Her interest level is so high, but she flakes out on me, after she initiates making plans.
Heres what I dont get. She says shes single. Theres this big phone issue, cuz she never answers her phone (I rarely call), when I did call, shed write back and say dont call this phone, its either dead or another excuse. And shell say shell contact me from another phone. She lives with a roomate whos boyfriend is best friends with this guy who is crazy about her, and hes always over there. Last night she was gonna come home with me, we just wanted to relax so I go to the movie store to pick out a couple flicks, after 20 minutes of tryin to find a couple movies, she TEXTS me and says im too exhausted dont be mad. She always flakes by text msgs, never calls me. So I say im not mad, just wish you would have told me sooner so wouldnt have declined other plans. She then texts me another msg and I dont reply. Then she texts me another msg saying 'whats wrong?". I dont reply. 5 minutes later, she calls. I dont answer. She calls again right away, leaves a bitchy voicemail saying a bunch of shit and that shed see me at work on monday (we made plans for the weekend). ...she calls again 15 minutes later and I answer. She asked if I was mad, I said no, I was making plans, whats up? ...we talk for about 15 minutes and I say we'll I gotta get ready to go and she HANGS UP ON ME. ....20 minutes pass and another text msg. "have fun, im going to bed, be good ha" ...we were supposed to go to the lake today and hang-out, We were gonna get together in the morning and its now its 3:00pm and I havent heard from her. I sent her a text msg and called her once, but no answer either way. She has flaked out on me a couple different times, I just dont know if I blow it off or do I get upset and put her in her place. I joke around about her flaking on me and I think its kinda cute or whatever, but when she makes then breaks plans, it pisses me off cuz I could have other things to do. Is this a bitch test? is she testing me? Why is she tryin to keep it so casual instead of latching on for a relationship, not that im complaining, but I do really like this girl. Maybe shes scared of being the rebound and ending up broken hearted?? I need some help here. Please.
Not sure if this too late, but:
Have you read the dating or relationships section of magic bullets yet? good shit.
If she ever flakes on you, be cool about it. I think in your story, you were middle of the road - indicating that you wished you had known earlier. Next time simply say, "that's cool, im gonna grab drinks with some friends" or something like that.
then, try flaking on her once. or twice. make some plans, confirm them, and then flake in the same way she does. Either shoot her a txt an hour before, or dont even do that. I guarantee she won't even bring it up. Now, I try not do that shit first (maybe I should), but flaking is a good way to try and gain control over the situation.
I think the key is to be indifferent about all this stuff. then see what happens. always ask yourself what you would do if she was someone you were only half-interested in. Then do that.
hope this helps, hope others will reply too.
Not to say that you should start playing games with this broad, but there was this one girl who I was seeing who would do the same stuff sometimes. She flaked on me one night, so I went out with friends instead and didn't answer when she finally tried calling. Sent her a text the next day, "Sorry about ditching you yesterday. Call me later.....". Acted like nothing happened when I talked to her, and she didn't flake out on me after that. Not sure if that was the best approach, but it worked with her.
"The common denominator of success lies in the fact that successful people form the habit of doing things failures don't like to do."