Discuss Tried to get out the friendzone..what went wrong? at the Relationships within the The Attraction Forums. Dating Advice.; Tried to get out the friendzone..what went wrong?
so my boy been cool wit some ...
Tried to get out the friendzone..what went wrong?
so my boy been cool wit some chick for bout...4 yrs..they talk everyday online rarely hang out...he used to talk to her bestfriend but nothing never happened they never even kissed..now this girl is older(the one he knew for 4 yrs) and shes lookin alot better...she tells him hes like a brother to her..but dude wanna be wit her...he asked me and i told him he should just tell go for it and just tell her ...so he did and this was the outcome
WHAT HE TOLD HER
you left and i had one more thing to let you know...a guy cant be friends with a girl hes attracted too..its either you feel the same way about me and you give it a try or you dont i cherish our friendship and i dont want it to end i care bout you and love u 2 death so you really need to think about the whole situation and what u wanna do when it comes to us take as much time as you need no rush at all..you know where to find me......love you
SHE REPILED BACK WITH THIS
dude u kno i love u 2 death n i always will but ive always seen you as my brother and i dont think i'll b able to see u in any other way, i hate doin this 2 u but i think its best if u know the truth. i think whatever it is ur feeling will eventually pass b/c weve known ea. other for yrs n uve never liked me like that atleast not that i kno of so its prob. just a phase. I hope we can still b close friends i'll always love you as my brother.
AND HE ANSWERED BACK WITH THIS
i dunno ...i dont wanna end our friendship i care about you alotttt but i dont know if i can handle it its a lose lose situation for me.....its either me and you remain friends and i live with it knowing that something between me and you may or may never happen and keep fighting my emotions about it....or i end our friendship and miss the hell outta you....and still fight with my emotions about wantin to be with you and you being with other guys.. at the end of the day you got ur life..you'll be able to date angel and i'll be here stuck wit my feelings and not being able to do anything about it.....its not a phase at all these feelings i have for you are true....i thought it was a phase but its not thats another reason i kept it away from you i jus couldnt believe it..but i cant control the way i feel about you and thats just the way it is...if you date angel i respect ur decision but i also want you to know that i cud be a better boyfriend then he can cuz he dont love you and care about you like i do and u should know my intentions toward u are always good, and never to hurt or take advantage of you just know im always gonna love and care about you if you ever wanna talk about it and/or ever change your mind about us im just a instant message/phone call away....Love you......
is there something that went wrong? did he come on too strong? any feedback is appreciated thanks
When girls put you into a the friend zone it is annoyingly hard to get out. His energy would be much better spent on new girls.
This caring so much that he wants to get out of the friendzone shows the signs of oneitis.
There are some posts about cutting off contact and coming back a new man in 6 months.
My opinion, is make her into a wing. Improve his game with other girls (which is better in the long run anyway) and maybe she will realize some sort of attraction because of the jeleousy plot line.
i think he came on wayyy to strong personally
adding the "love you" at the end like that would definitely freak the shit outta me
listen to fireeyes
classic oneitis. get over it. all girls are the same. they may have different personalities or characteristics that are better matched for you. but they are ALL.. THE .. SAME
move on. tell him about the field. it looks like he could use the knowledge
This is a classic case of every thing NOT to do to get a girl. Oneitis for sure.
It all starts with attraction. Unfortunately the time has come and gone for him to make a first impression and establish that. He dug that hole even deeper with what he said to her.
What went wrong you ask? Everything. Sorry mate.
I think the value of having a girl as a best friend is priceless. She's going to tell him things she'll never tell other men. A lot of guys are friends with women, and they're not all gay.
It sounds like early on she was interested in him but their friendship eclipsed any chance of taking it into a relationship. She wants his friendship, it's important to her, and doesn't want that to end.
He has no idea if he'd be a better boyfriend than a best friend. She knows enough about him over 4 years to figure out that it prob. wouldn't work as a relationship. Once he f-closes her, it's going to feel weird.
What I would say is that I'm not going to end the friendship, we'll always be friends, but I think we're going in different directions in what we want in life. I think that there's a potential for something more than friendship, and you don't, and I respect that, but I think we should spend less time together for now and see what happens, we might need a little bit of distance for now, but I will be there for you if you need someone to talk to.
This means not answering her as much, not coming over as much ,and just establishing some boundaries. The friendship doesn't have to end, but it might be long overdue to not be as close.
But as far as being friends with girls you're attracted to??? Why not?
wow wonderful reply
Originally Posted by sdnightfly
sdnightfly..question...hes gonna distance himself to get over her? or too see if something happens between them? btw she has boyfriend now