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Discuss Girlfriend's trying to use other guy to make me jealous.. at the Relationships within the The Attraction Forums. Dating Advice.; Girlfriend's trying to use other guy to make me jealous.. My Relationship Management ."> ltr ...
  1. #1
    Masters is offline TAF Hall Of Fame
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    Girlfriend's trying to use other guy to make me jealous..

    My ltr is slowly becoming best friends with a bisexual guy she lives with (She also lives with another guy and a girl).
    I live 45 minutes away and see her 3-4 days a week. She'll tell me about getting drunk with the bi guy and hanging out and all this stuff that i could care less about. So far she's been able to do one thing that's bothered me. She played a drinking game with her girl friends and this guy was there (He was 'just gay then) and they all ended up taking off their tops. This is awesome for him.. but later when I've learned he's bi it just became a little annoying knowing that he was hanging out with her and her topless friends all night. Oh well, good for him.
    Well tonight I was speaking with girlfriend as she called me wasted (she's getting drunk with the bi guy). She mentioned when they went to buy the alcohol an old lady confused them for a couple. The way she told me the story reminded me of an ex-girlfriend that would always mention being confused as other guys girlfriends or tell me how people say her and so and so would make a cute couple to make me jealous. The way she told me the story though sounded like she was speaking slowly.. judging my responses as she progressed the story. I guess I've been studying speech and social dynamics so long I'm looking into the things she says more, but could this have merit? It seems she's trying to make me jealous.
    Another added point is that when she's drunk I doubt her self resolve. Meaning.. If she's wasted and some guy tries to make out with her I can see it happening, and even more so if she just sees the guy as a gay guy who wouldn't be interested in her (even though he's bi). If this happens I end the exclusivity of the ltr but im annoyed that I wont have any way of finding out.
    I posted earlier about this same girl trying to project a jealousy frame on me so I've been kind of 'on the alert' for this type of behavior.
    How do I stop this and keep from actually getting annoyed or drawn into her frame? Does this reek of one-itis? I go out and run missions and continue to improve my game but none the less I've invested time into this woman. Anything I have an investment in I get concerned over.
    This issue isn't a major problem yet, however I foresee these things growing and try to nip it in the ass.



  2. #2
    Starman's Avatar
    Starman is offline Certified Live Training Graduate Lounge Member
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    I'm becoming a convert to doing the opposite of an AFC. That's the whole basis of why this stuff works. I'd suggest telling you feel bad that you're separated by the distance between you two, and how it makes it difficult to spend time together. Tell her you know she likes having fun, and encourage her to spend more time with the bi-guy because "he seems so nice" (go ahead and start the boyfriend destroying immediately!).
    Starman says: Always reach for the stars.

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    Rain is offline TAF Hall Of Fame Lounge Member
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    Perhaps it is AFC advice, but...

    I mentioned this as a possibility in my reply to your last post. Now I'm all but 100% sure that she is attempting to get some proclaimation of love or commitment from you. As you have said, you don't really care. My instinct is that you DO care, but have become proficient at hiding it from her and from yourself.
    It is not a compromise of your PUA principles to fall in love, or to express that love. It is a compromise of those principles if that love causes you to forget that you are the prize, there are plenty of women out there, etc. Don't be afraid to admit it to yourself, if that is indeed how you feel about her. Regardless of your actions away from her(sarging, studying game, etc.), you have developed feelings for her, that is why she is your GF.
    I recommend giving her a small victory. DO NOT let her know that this other guy is what brought you to this communication. Rather, express to her how you feel on your terms. Tell her you care about her, and show it a little more, without going AFC. If her behavior doesn't change, then you have something to be concerned about.
    This guy is playing mind games with her. He spends more time with her than you do. She will naturally question her status with you, due to simple frequency of interaction. Therefore, your interactions with her must overshadow anything and everything she does with him. I think it is time to take your game to a higher level and remind her why she chose you and doesn't want anyone else.
    My ex-GF started this kind of behavior when she went off to college and I only saw her once a month. I let her know that I could tell when she had hung out with guys who were interested by her tone of voice and conversation. I followed this immediately with a suggestion that if she were having doubts, we should break up immediately in order to avoid a nasty situation. Then I told her to think about it and call me tomorrow. I said I was fine with it, but she had to decide. Next day, letter with lipstick kisses, text pages with I-heart-U, and phone sex to top it all off. Problem solved.
    In summary, since I tend to meander: 1) Tell/show how much you care. 2) Re-establish your romance connection. 3) Let her know that although you care, you are willing to let her go if she doubts for even a second if she wants to be with you. 4) If you don't get a solid answer, or she stalls, or any other outcome than onwe that satisfies you, DUMP HER ASS! NEVER LOOK BACK.
    May the game be with you.
    Rain

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    legonz is offline TAF Hall Of Fame Lounge Member
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    Aw fuck, I've slipped up with this so many times. I can't tell you want to do, but I know what DOESN'T work.
    -Don't get angry. She'll run to captain bi and he'll be waiting with open arms.
    -Don't ignore it. Ditto.

    Because he believes in himself
    he doesn't try to convince others
    Because he is content with himself
    he doesn't need others' approval
    Because he accepts himself
    the whole world accepts him

    The Master- Tao te Jing

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    I have zero patience for any post related to "oh shit there is this one girl and there is this situation where blah blah blah WHAT DO I DO????"
    This forum is not about that shit. This forum is about your skillset. What you should DO is start seeing other chicks since she is OBVIOUSLY seeing another guy. Whenever there is a concern that you are possibly losing a girl, you should immediately appear with a hotter girl. She should be paranoid about losing you and instead she is fucking with you.
    Focus on your SKILLSET. There are plenty of forums out there where people can act desperate about their relationship. But this forum is about working on your skills, PERIOD.

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    Sy
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    Lovedrop,
    With all due respect (and there is plenty due), a guy having troubles with a girl (maybe one of many, maybe not), is something I feel we as a board can and should help with. It will only add to the skillset to know how to deal with this situation (be that nexting or being aloof etc). Maybe we need a separate "relationships" board, but getting involved with a woman past sex is certainly something I wish to achieve from The Game.
    Abraham Lincoln reportedly said that, Given eight hours to chop down a tree, he'd spend six sharpening his axe.

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    Masters is offline TAF Hall Of Fame
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    Told by The Man. ouch
    Quote Originally Posted by Lovedrop
    I have zero patience for any post related to "oh shit there is this one girl and there is this situation where blah blah blah WHAT DO I DO????"
    This forum is not about that shit. This forum is about your skillset. What you should DO is start seeing other chicks since she is OBVIOUSLY seeing another guy. Whenever there is a concern that you are possibly losing a girl, you should immediately appear with a hotter girl. She should be paranoid about losing you and instead she is fucking with you.
    Focus on your SKILLSET. There are plenty of forums out there where people can act desperate about their relationship. But this forum is about working on your skills, PERIOD.

  9. #9
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    Quote Originally Posted by Masters
    My ltr is slowly becoming best friends with a bisexual guy she lives with (She also lives with another guy and a girl).
    Logistically, it's only a matter of time before this turns into something sexual. Especially if she' constantly getting drunk with this guy and has already spent an evening topless with him. Your only way out of this situation is to remove those two from living under the same roof.
    Quote Originally Posted by Masters
    Another added point is that when she's drunk I doubt her self resolve. Meaning.. If she's wasted and some guy tries to make out with her I can see it happening, and even more so if she just sees the guy as a gay guy who wouldn't be interested in her (even though he's bi). If this happens I end the exclusivity of the ltr but im annoyed that I wont have any way of finding out.
    End the LTR. You don't trust her. And nothing we say or do will change it. It's far too convienant for her to fool around. And that bothers you. End it. Tell her the distance is an issue and go date other girls. You don't need this agrevation in your life. You're the prize. Cut bait, move on. Sorry, best thing for you.

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    Girlfriends are for AFC's that's my theory. You can't be a pua if your looking for a girlfriend, if you lose her then it's back to square one. I don't roll with that circus.
    In all honesty man let the trick go, you don't need her and she needs to grow up. Putting all your eggs in one baskit puts you in the situation you are in now. She's making you jelous, well if she was trying I'm sure it worked seeing as you started this thread lol. Keep your game tight and move on man, pick up a few new team mates and go from there.. I sure wouldn't have time to think or even concider worrying about some girl making me jelous
    ~P_P~
    Ladies walk because your game isn't tight
    If yo woman chose sumbody else then shit yo game aint tight (uh huh...thas right)
    So quit runnin around here bitchin

    And tightin up ya game

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