TheEssentials728Banner.
Results 1 to 8 of 8
Like Tree1Likes
  • 1 Post By Portrait
Discuss Girlfriend of 3 years just broke up with me. What to do to get her back at the Relationships within the The Attraction Forums. Dating Advice.; Girlfriend of 3 years just broke up with me. What to do to get her ...
  1. #1
    Join Date
    Aug 2009
    Gender:
    Posts
    13
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts
    Mentioned
    0 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Girlfriend of 3 years just broke up with me. What to do to get her back

    Hi,
    I'll keep this as short as I can. I read the post on "how to get your girlfriend back". Just want some feedback on my circumstances.

    My GF broke off our 3 year relationship last month. At this point, I was pushing her to start thinking about marriage but due to use being from 2 separate religions, she wasn't able to bring herself to face her mother. Finally she broke up with me saying that she couldn't trust me and that i was financially too impulsive.

    For a month, i went back every week like a puppy dog to get her back and finally i decided I was going to leave the city. That got her running back and we spent 4 days together having fun like we were dating again. The next day, she says she still needs to work things out and needs time to herself to figure out what she wants.

    So as of yesterday, We aren't going to see each other and I promised i wouldn't see her unless she came to me. I get an email late last night, where she thanks me and justifies why she needs the time, that what we had was special and that if she comes back it will be for good. I realize now I shouldn't have done this but I emailed her earlier today, telling her the following:

    "Thank you for the email. I can only imagine the turmoil you're going through and I can see how hard this has been on you. I acknowledge your commitment to your self discovery and commend you on taking it on as very few people would have the courage to do so. I look forward to your evolution.

    I truly believe in this relationship and believe that we are meant to be. That belief is enough to give me the strength to handle what life has to throw my way on this journey to being with you.

    Know that you are never alone and that even when I'm not with you, I'm always there with you, for you and by your side.

    When we come together, there should be NO room for regret on either side.I love you from the core of my being and would accept no less than ALL of you, in fact I demand nothing less.

    I want to also thank you for creating the space for me to evolve and recreate myself as this has been a long time coming. You've created a hunger in me to create the life that I have always wanted in all aspects and to honor my commitments to myself.

    I love you, My Love"

    Reading this over and over again, i realize that I shouldn't have emailed her. i am now committed to not contacting her and taking care of my life. My B'day is coming up July 6th. What should my next steps be?



  2. #2
    Join Date
    Apr 2012
    Gender:
    Age
    30
    Posts
    2,040
    Thanks
    7
    Thanked 124 Times in 119 Posts
    Mentioned
    18 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    FUCK dude, that is so AFC. You are gonna have to fish hard for your balls because they are in a dark deep place sucked back into your body.

    Do nothing, holy shit.

    NEVER push for serious stuff, women will do that if they want it in clever little ways. It is like putting on a dress, painting your nails and asking her to curl your hair, DON'T DO IT.
    Please yourself.


    Everything else is just a tool to accomplishing the above.

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Jun 2012
    Gender:
    Age
    25
    Posts
    933
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 27 Times in 24 Posts
    Mentioned
    3 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Quote Originally Posted by mqhasan View Post
    Hi,
    Thank you for the email. I can only imagine the turmoil you're going through and I can see how hard this has been on you. I acknowledge your commitment to your self discovery and commend you on taking it on as very few people would have the courage to do so. I look forward to your evolution.

    I truly believe in this relationship and believe that we are meant to be. That belief is enough to give me the strength to handle what life has to throw my way on this journey to being with you.

    Know that you are never alone and that even when I'm not with you, I'm always there with you, for you and by your side.

    When we come together, there should be NO room for regret on either side.I love you from the core of my being and would accept no less than ALL of you, in fact I demand nothing less.

    I want to also thank you for creating the space for me to evolve and recreate myself as this has been a long time coming. You've created a hunger in me to create the life that I have always wanted in all aspects and to honor my commitments to myself.

    I love you, My Love"
    Lets just go through this email step by step:

    Quote Originally Posted by mqhasan View Post
    I can only imagine the turmoil you're going through and I can see how hard this has been on you. I acknowledge your commitment to your self discovery and commend you on taking it on as very few people would have the courage to do so.
    You just congratulated her, on breaking up with you. Saying she is courageous because she couldn't face religious differences? And it was easier to get rid of you, than to stand up for her own relationship.
    There is nothing courageous about this. It is a weakness of hers, not being able to stand up to her mother.

    Quote Originally Posted by mqhasan View Post
    I truly believe in this relationship and believe that we are meant to be. That belief is enough to give me the strength to handle what life has to throw my way on this journey to being with you.
    She doesn't believe that. She broke it off with you because she completely doesn't believe that. You are losing all your self-respect in there lines. If she believed you are supposed to end up together, then why would she break it off with you? If she wasn't prepared to live her life without you, then she wouldn't.
    What is going to change? She isn't going to all of a sudden stop caring about what her mother thinks. You two aren't all of a sudden going to bother be the same religion.

    Quote Originally Posted by mqhasan View Post
    Know that you are never alone and that even when I'm not with you, I'm always there with you, for you and by your side.
    She should be alone. You shouldn't be there with her. She left you. That isn't your role anymore. Your job now is to look after yourself, and that means finding someone new to mate with.
    If she is going througb hard shit, don't be the shoulder to cry on. She gave up that shoulder when she broke up with you.

    This is not ment to be cruel, and that you don't care about her. But for you, the best thing you can do to move on, is to stop contacting her and to get over her. That means no more listening to her problems and being her shoulder to cry on.

    Quote Originally Posted by mqhasan View Post
    When we come together, there should be NO room for regret on either side.I love you from the core of my being and would accept no less than ALL of you, in fact I demand nothing less.
    You are in absolutely not position to make demands of her. She is in 100% control. She owns this relationship, and at the moment, owns you. She knows she can get you back whenever she wants. In fact, you said that to her.

    If you get back together (which is a fair chance) she will have regrets, and it will only be a temporarily feeling of happiness, as eventually, the emptiness and issues that are causing your current break up, will continue to reside in her, and they will come up again.


    Quote Originally Posted by mqhasan View Post
    I want to also thank you for creating the space for me to evolve and recreate myself as this has been a long time coming. You've created a hunger in me to create the life that I have always wanted in all aspects and to honor my commitments to myself.
    This is how I read this part:
    Thank you for breaking up with her, and giving me time to try and become exactly what you want me to be... Not who I want to be, but who you want me to be. You have created a need for me to try and impress you in every way, and work on myself just so that you will love me more.

    It sounds pathetic. You thanked her for breaking up with you? WTF? If you are glad she has created this 'space' for you to evolve, then fucking use it. Actually have space, and do something to benefit yourself, FOR YOU, not to impress her.

    THe bottom line is, that last line is just pissing in her face, and she will read it like that. You aren't thankful for creating space. You don't want space from her, you want to be with her, she knows this, you know this, dont lie to her. It is not the way to get what you want.




    The bottom line is, this whole email is rediculous. She knows that you want her back. All you have done is patted her on the back and said 'Good Job' baby, no matter how much you fuck me over, I will still be the little puppy dog that comes running back.

    There are two things you can do as a man in a relationship when a girl breaks up with you:
    1) Go no contact - Give her the gift of missing you. Make her understand the great catch you are, by not being there for her for a short period of time (about a month). She will miss all the great things you do, and when she comes back, you can often have an even more amazing connection because you both appreciate eachother.

    2) Wine bitch and moan - You can carry on like a spoilt little brat who lost his favourite toy and cry and cry and cry. You can beg, plead, compliment and adore her no matter what she does in return.

    The first one of these options, leads to at least some self respect, even if it doesn't get your girl back.

    THe second rarely gets your girl back, and even if it does, you lose all self respect.

    Seriously, man up and go no-contact with this chick. Even if she does come to you, fuck her off. She isn't able to change her parents, and she isn't able to change her religion. You however, are clearly replacable to her. So move on - IT IS OVER!
    I spent a lot of my money on booze, birds, and fast cars. The rest I just squandered.
    ~ George Best
    The war between the sexes is over. Men won the second women started doing pole dancing for exercise.
    ~ Jacob Palmer

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Aug 2009
    Gender:
    Posts
    13
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts
    Mentioned
    0 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Quote Originally Posted by Portrait View Post
    Lets just go through this email step by step:


    You just congratulated her, on breaking up with you. Saying she is courageous because she couldn't face religious differences? And it was easier to get rid of you, than to stand up for her own relationship.
    There is nothing courageous about this. It is a weakness of hers, not being able to stand up to her mother.


    She doesn't believe that. She broke it off with you because she completely doesn't believe that. You are losing all your self-respect in there lines. If she believed you are supposed to end up together, then why would she break it off with you? If she wasn't prepared to live her life without you, then she wouldn't.
    What is going to change? She isn't going to all of a sudden stop caring about what her mother thinks. You two aren't all of a sudden going to bother be the same religion.


    She should be alone. You shouldn't be there with her. She left you. That isn't your role anymore. Your job now is to look after yourself, and that means finding someone new to mate with.
    If she is going througb hard shit, don't be the shoulder to cry on. She gave up that shoulder when she broke up with you.

    This is not ment to be cruel, and that you don't care about her. But for you, the best thing you can do to move on, is to stop contacting her and to get over her. That means no more listening to her problems and being her shoulder to cry on.



    You are in absolutely not position to make demands of her. She is in 100% control. She owns this relationship, and at the moment, owns you. She knows she can get you back whenever she wants. In fact, you said that to her.

    If you get back together (which is a fair chance) she will have regrets, and it will only be a temporarily feeling of happiness, as eventually, the emptiness and issues that are causing your current break up, will continue to reside in her, and they will come up again.




    This is how I read this part:
    Thank you for breaking up with her, and giving me time to try and become exactly what you want me to be... Not who I want to be, but who you want me to be. You have created a need for me to try and impress you in every way, and work on myself just so that you will love me more.

    It sounds pathetic. You thanked her for breaking up with you? WTF? If you are glad she has created this 'space' for you to evolve, then fucking use it. Actually have space, and do something to benefit yourself, FOR YOU, not to impress her.

    THe bottom line is, that last line is just pissing in her face, and she will read it like that. You aren't thankful for creating space. You don't want space from her, you want to be with her, she knows this, you know this, dont lie to her. It is not the way to get what you want.




    The bottom line is, this whole email is rediculous. She knows that you want her back. All you have done is patted her on the back and said 'Good Job' baby, no matter how much you fuck me over, I will still be the little puppy dog that comes running back.

    There are two things you can do as a man in a relationship when a girl breaks up with you:
    1) Go no contact - Give her the gift of missing you. Make her understand the great catch you are, by not being there for her for a short period of time (about a month). She will miss all the great things you do, and when she comes back, you can often have an even more amazing connection because you both appreciate eachother.

    2) Wine bitch and moan - You can carry on like a spoilt little brat who lost his favourite toy and cry and cry and cry. You can beg, plead, compliment and adore her no matter what she does in return.

    The first one of these options, leads to at least some self respect, even if it doesn't get your girl back.

    THe second rarely gets your girl back, and even if it does, you lose all self respect.

    Seriously, man up and go no-contact with this chick. Even if she does come to you, fuck her off. She isn't able to change her parents, and she isn't able to change her religion. You however, are clearly replacable to her. So move on - IT IS OVER!
    Portrait, Thanks for the advice. I get that i sound like a little "Bitch". So going no contact is what i am doing now......What do I do if she does contact me on my birthday????

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Jun 2012
    Gender:
    Age
    25
    Posts
    933
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 27 Times in 24 Posts
    Mentioned
    3 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    "Happy birthday MQHASAN - I really miss you, hope you have a wonderful day... wish we could share it together, bla bla bla"

    "Thanks HB - Appreciate the message, have a good day".

    It ends the conversatgion, you dont sound like a sook, and it doesn't promote another response from her.
    I spent a lot of my money on booze, birds, and fast cars. The rest I just squandered.
    ~ George Best
    The war between the sexes is over. Men won the second women started doing pole dancing for exercise.
    ~ Jacob Palmer

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Apr 2008
    Gender:
    Location
    Outer Space
    Posts
    1,444
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 31 Times in 31 Posts
    Mentioned
    14 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Meh, I honestly don't think the email was the worst thing.

    Point being she broke up with you and you have to move on... Email or No Email.
    Stop thinking about getting her back, or it's gonna eat your from the inside. People like challenges, but the odds to win this one, are close to 0.
    Just work on yourself and on your own life. IMHO you have some good feedback from her (she couldn't trust you and you're financially too impulsive). So you can work on those 2 things and maybe others.

    The email at the end of the day, left a door open for her and IMO is diplomatically correct (although not the reason you wrote it).

    This way you can just turn the page FOR GOOD and know that if she wants she'll reach out.

    MOVE ON. NEXT. NEXT.
    "Psychology is an essential ingredient so that logic dominates emotions, and the human dominates the animal"

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Aug 2009
    Gender:
    Posts
    13
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts
    Mentioned
    0 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Quote Originally Posted by Hitman47 View Post
    Meh, I honestly don't think the email was the worst thing.

    Point being she broke up with you and you have to move on... Email or No Email.
    Stop thinking about getting her back, or it's gonna eat your from the inside. People like challenges, but the odds to win this one, are close to 0.
    Just work on yourself and on your own life. IMHO you have some good feedback from her (she couldn't trust you and you're financially too impulsive). So you can work on those 2 things and maybe others.

    The email at the end of the day, left a door open for her and IMO is diplomatically correct (although not the reason you wrote it).

    This way you can just turn the page FOR GOOD and know that if she wants she'll reach out.

    MOVE ON. NEXT. NEXT.
    Thank you everyone for your feedback. I'm pretty clear on what I need to do. Focus on me and my own personal growth.

  8. #8
    Join Date
    Apr 2013
    Gender:
    Posts
    181
    Thanks
    1
    Thanked 10 Times in 10 Posts
    Mentioned
    3 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Quote Originally Posted by mqhasan View Post
    Thank you everyone for your feedback. I'm pretty clear on what I need to do. Focus on me and my own personal growth.
    Do not go into the personal growth thing thinking if i change this or that about myself and improve myself i can win her back, it has to be done for You and you only.

Similar Threads

  1. Just broke up with GF of 2 years
    By _Game_ in forum Relationships
    Replies: 3
    Last Post: 01-30-2011, 08:26 AM
  2. I just broke up with my gf of 1.5 years
    By djcharlierich in forum Relationships
    Replies: 1
    Last Post: 09-18-2010, 08:05 PM
  3. want my ex back just broke up after 7 years!
    By Jasonn in forum Relationships
    Replies: 50
    Last Post: 07-09-2010, 06:23 AM
  4. Replies: 3
    Last Post: 05-03-2010, 07:22 AM

Bookmarks

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  • Forum Rules



Facebook  Twitter