Let this be a lesson for everyone in how NOT to act when ex gf contacts you!
Some of you might recall the back story to all this in my previous thread...
Messy situation with cheating, LSE ex-girlfriend
To summarise i dated a girl for about 6 months, we broke up when i found out she was arranging to meet up with other guys for sex behind my back. The girl is fairly damaged due to a turbulent upbringing (adopted, kicked out of the house at 16, bad financial situation). I ended it but never got mad at her because i guess deep down i should have seen the warning signs and i knew how insecure she was and how desperately she needs validation through other guys.
Anyway, it ended, after a few days no contact she began to text me again, i would respond briefly, we met up, cleared the air, then she accused me of sending a text message to one of the guys she was flirting with behind my back saying i had called her a whore. This was untrue, she didn't believe me, i told her don't contact me again until you apologise, i never heard from her for about 3 weeks, she then deletes me as a friend on facebook, i emailed her saying this was a shame as i had hoped we could be friends, she said too much had happened for us ever to be friends, i replied saying thats unfortunate but i wish her well. I never heard from her again.
Then on monday night, about a month after all this took place, i get a random email saying "hello, just thought i would say hello, how's tricks with you?" I was extremely surprised by this and genuinely didn't expect to hear from her as i know she'll be dating multiple guys right now.
Despite everything that happened between us all i want now is to be friends with her. By that i mean have the ability to email every now and then and meet up a couple of times a year to see how she's doing. So when i got this email i thought she might have had a change of heart and was ready to be friends.
I replied the next day and kept it brief, stating what i'd been up to and throwing some DHVs in there as well. She replied later, saying that she was happy things were working out for me, and that "there's not a day when i don't think about you", and "i guess i just needed to say hello to see how you were because i miss our chat. Hate how it ended the way it has".
I replied once more, followed by another one from her, and a final one from me, again i kept it brief, and ended it by saying it had been nice catching up with her today. Since this email i have not heard a thing from her.
All this makes me think that the whole point of her initial email was not to try and start a friendship with me again, but to use me as an emotional tampon when she has a moment of missing me! She was feeling down, missed me, and wanted to make her self feel better by knowing that i would reply to her. If she had wanted us to work on being friends, she would have continued to exchange emails, and may have even suggested meeting up. But this was never her intentions, she simply wanted re-assurance and validation from me to make her self feel better. Let this be a lesson to everyone who hears from their ex randomly. Don't fall for that shit! I should have been harsh with her. Now she thinks that whenever she's feeling down she can always email me and i'll cheer her up. Don't do it lads! Learn from my mistakes.
So there you have it, i made a complete mess of that, but at least i've learned. My question is what should i have said if i was to have any chance of becoming friends with her again? And what should i do if i hear from her again?