Try to be alpha but end up sounding like a jerk

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    Try to be alpha but end up sounding like a jerk

    I read a thread on here for dominance and tried to do what it says like never say " can you?" instead say " bring me a drink" or whatever. I tried that and my girl got pissed and said I was being rude. She's not a super submissive girl, so I really wanna figure out how I can reframe this and make sure I AM the more dominant one.



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    Did you make sure to say please and thank you? "Bring me a drink" vs. "Bring me a drink, please..thanks"

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    Yes, she was focusing more on me Not saying "can you?"

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    You have to use your best judgement.

    Being Alpha does not mean telling everyone what to do all the time.

    Alpha is basically leading. You are a leader instead of a follower. Women LOVE leaders of men.

    If you go up to a chick, slap her on the ass and say 'Bitch, Drink... NOW!'

    You are not saying 'can you' but nor are you being Alpha.. You are just being a rude jerk.

    Stop worry so much about Rules... Such as saying 'Can You'... It is more about your frame, and the way you present yourself.

    If you have you head down, and tail between your legs and say 'can you come with me to the bar' you are most likely getting a strong NO

    If you project self confidence, grab her hand, and say 'Can you come with me to the bar' and just start walking and leader her away, I would
    think she is more likely to say yes (given the right circumstances obviously)

    Just project Alpha traits, rather than worry about individual rules... Its just one chick who cracked it... Who cares, fuck her, there are 1000000 others

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    I usually make sexist comments but do it as a joke. And I'll slap her on the ass, but go "oh sorry, hand slipped".

    Dominance doesn't mean to be a caveman. Barking orders at your girlfriend is disrespectful, but going "hey woman, fetch me my beer, you're a doll" is being tongue in cheek. And if she says "get your own damn beer", just tell her "you're walking home, lady", but just make it banter that goes back and forth.

    Being dominant usually means you don't change for her and do whatever she wants. It should be give and take, where she wins sometimes, and you win other times. Yes, go see a romcom, but she better be wearing something sexy to make up for the 100 minutes you'll never get back.

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    Sometimes I wish there was a step by step process to being alpha lol

    Basically here are my goals

    1. To get her to be more affectionate, she's like that once in a while but not as often as I would like.

    2. Be more dominant but have it be a positive thing in our relationship

    3. Have her happy to do anything I ask her do to and to not argue with me

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    If you tried to follow a step by step process to be 'alpha' it would make you the most 'beta' guy in the world

    Forget alpha or beta, these words are loaded with too many connotations.

    Focus on creating your reality rather than following along with the reality you are in.

    You should be able to see where people are internally without having to join them.

    Focus on amusing yourself and the other person will just enjoy being around your vibe.

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    I understand. What are some characteristics of an alpha in a relationship?

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    Quote Originally Posted by icarus33 View Post
    1. To get her to be more affectionate, she's like that once in a while but not as often as I would like.
    First of all if she's always been like that (affectionate once in a while but not all the time) then that is who she is and if you can't accept that then find another girl who is more affectionate. I used to be the same way with my girlfriend and then I realized that me wanting her to be super affectionate all the time was me being a needy bitch. You need to take a different approach other than being overly dominant or trying to show your dominance.

    Read this: http://www.solvemygirlproblems.com/2...rlfriend-wife/

    Reading that has worked wonders for me and my neediness in the relationship.

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    Quote Originally Posted by icarus33 View Post
    I understand. What are some characteristics of an alpha in a relationship?
    I just told you the core concepts of an alpha male...

    You question is generic and the answer can be found everywhere

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