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My brother is marrying the first girl he laid...

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  1. #11
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    I hate the situ where guy doesn't have a woman in his life gets lucky puts his life and soul into her and then she leaves him and he's then lost like a puppy.

    Never stop sarging!



  2. #12
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    Quote Originally Posted by The Mexican View Post
    Oh well, my older brother was a 30 year old virgin until last summer when he started dating a 19 year old girl...

    Needless to say, he fell in love with her and invested his all into the relationship from day 1

    I have nothing bad to say about the girl, nothing good either... Actually they haven't bothered involving her into our family dynamics, if they go to my parents house they'd just sit on the couch watching tv while my parents or younger brother are doing something else

    My brother announced they are getting married in June and somehow don't feel it's right for him for plenty of reasons

    Being number one, he has Zero experience in relationships, he never even held hands with a girl before, let alone kissing

    Now even while drives, he does it with his left hand while holds her hand with the right one... (wtf)

    I don't see she is bringing anything into the relationship, he has a good job, while she doesn't even have a job...

    I don't know if I should talk to my brother or just let him be and let reality do its job?

    Should I stay out of it? If you suggest me to talk to him how should I bring the topic up?

    It's very clear for me he wants to marry out of fear of not finding someone so he just settles for the first girl he could get...

    Thanks
    Just start off telling him that you support whatever decision he wants to make with his life, but ask him point blank - looking past the sex, can you tell me what you feel is special about her, and how long did he decide he wanted to do this? And by the same token, just tell your brother that you want to go over when her family has a backyard party, just to meet them.

    If he feels ready to own his own place and have a family, then that's fine. You know some girls have no career plans and just want to be a stay at home mom.

    She doesn't really have history at 19.

    I'd just want to have the talk with him over a couple of beers, not to talk him out of it, but just explain what it is that's special about her that he never found in other women. And your answer should just be "if that's what you want, I'm cool with it."

  3. #13
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    Thanks for the replies...

    I will talk to him the way sdnightfly said... However am I supposed to do it in a curious way? Not trying to convince him of how wrong is what he is doing?

    It does worry me the fact he is totally dependent on her, they do what she wants, at the time she wants and if she wants

    In the whole time they've been dating they have seen each othe every single day (no kidding)

    She is not a controlling bitch (haven't seen that in her at least) perhaps she is as needy as he is

    On the other hand, her parents seem to be over protective. My bro still has to ask them for permission to go to that or this place... She has to be at home at certain hour ... She doesn't even have a key for her parents house... That's why sometimes it seems to me she is just looking for a way out

    I don't know, perhaps am being selfish and i want my bro to want what I want

    Oh and he decided he wanted to marry her 5 months into the relationship

    They haven't moved in or spend a few days together, no weekend getaways or something that would allow them to see how a life together might be

  4. #14
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    Nah- you can't challenge him, otherwise he's going to get defensive. You just want to have it be a normal conversation and just give the rundown of what her good qualities are, and if he knows any of her bad, because none of us are perfect, and "I'd want to know my girl better than she knows herself".

    If he says "I'll take that chance", just go "no matter what happens, I'll be there for you."

    She doesn't know what she wants in life yet, but everyone talks about starting their own business or going to some sort of school.

    I would ask him how long does he want to wait to have kids, though. He might not want to wait, but I would just tell him, find out what she wants to do in life apart from having your babies, because if you die, then she has to find a job, and I don't want my nephews and nieces with a mom who's going to be working her ass off and can't raise them."

    Part of the 5 months is her wanting to get out, and him wanting to get laid, but if she's never handled bills before, he's going to talk down to her like she's an idiot. But there's people who get married that soon and it lasts. Age difference is at the point where it's not that big of a deal.

    Quote Originally Posted by The Mexican View Post
    Thanks for the replies...

    I will talk to him the way sdnightfly said... However am I supposed to do it in a curious way? Not trying to convince him of how wrong is what he is doing?

    It does worry me the fact he is totally dependent on her, they do what she wants, at the time she wants and if she wants

    In the whole time they've been dating they have seen each othe every single day (no kidding)

    She is not a controlling bitch (haven't seen that in her at least) perhaps she is as needy as he is

    On the other hand, her parents seem to be over protective. My bro still has to ask them for permission to go to that or this place... She has to be at home at certain hour ... She doesn't even have a key for her parents house... That's why sometimes it seems to me she is just looking for a way out

    I don't know, perhaps am being selfish and i want my bro to want what I want

    Oh and he decided he wanted to marry her 5 months into the relationship

    They haven't moved in or spend a few days together, no weekend getaways or something that would allow them to see how a life together might be

  5. #15
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    UPDATE

    They got married yesterday!
    It was a quiet small ceremony and everybody was happy for them.
    I wont lie though, as much as i love my older brother and as much as i wish them happiness, i still have some doubts hehe

    I couldnt help to feel sorry for him the moment he was giving a speech and saying how much he loves her from the moment he
    first saw her... even my younger brother and I exchanged looks of "oh lord... he is so screwed"

    but anyway, my younger and i are very sarcastic and cynical about everything.

  6. #16
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    Wish him luck, he might have a long road ahead with her!

  7. #17
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    Dont talk to him. It is pointless. Not only will it cause a rift between your brother and his fiance and the rest of the family, but it will most likely push them closer together as well. It will be like saying she is 'forbidden fruit'. This will make the attraction that much stronger.

    If she is just a gold digger, and looking for something to do while she is young (which it does sound like) then eventually she will break it off with him, and they will get a divorce\split up.

    All you can do is be there for him, and support him. Be there for him while they are happy, and enjoy there company. When\if it ends, then be there for him then too. Support him and show him that there are other girls of higher value out there for him.


    Make sure you include her with in the family. If you ostrasize her, you will ostrasize him. This will make it that much harder for him to see her flaws and manipulation because he wont have other around for support, and to talk to. If you make her his entire world, it will be even worse.

    Bad situation to be in, nothing worse than seeing a train wreck about to happen and not being able to do anything about it...

    Maybe if you have heaps of money you can buy a hooker for 6 months and get her to flirt\hit on him and try and seduce him... But dunno how well that would go down either :P

  8. #18
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    From here you can only give him advice for when she goes bat shit crazy.

    The only true way to learn is from your own mistakes. Marriage was a huge mistake since it's legally binding and divorces can be extremely costly for the man depending on what State you are in... but still, it's his mistake to learn from. Hopefully it doesn't get to that point.

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