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im new on this relationship game, I recently asked ...
How can I win her parents?
im new on this relationship game, I recently asked a girl who I have been dating for 3 months to be my gf, long story short: my girl (while we were dating) got really drunk and fell asleep at my place, her parents showed up at my place (WTF??) and they took her back home (her being really drunk) now her parents think im a bad influence... shes 21 btw, any ideas on how to handle this? she told me next time Im at her house to make small talk to her parents but somehow I get nervous while Im next to them
She might be an adult, but she's under their roof, if she had to go to the hospital, who would have to pay for the bills? They would.
Things happen - they know you didn't force her to drink, but 3 months, they barely know you, if shit happens, they can't depend on you to handle it. If she got pregnant, they're going to see you as an irresponsible kid.
Next time you and her get together, and she seems to start drinking a lot, either she stays the night or you stop drinking, and get her to slow down on how much she's drinking. You can't tell her how much to drink, but if you're the one pacing yourself, and not keeping booze accessible, she'll have to stop.
Parents think worst case situations. When she moves out, then she can do what she wants.
I actually talked to her about that, Im always watching her when shes drinking.
Originally Posted by sdnightfly
I got a bad first impression with her parents and I want to fix it
I'll tell you my story:
My very first real girlfriend invited me over one day (Her parents found out we were dating about ~1 month prior) to help her with English homework. She was 15 and I was 16. Oldest in the family - definitely the baby girl in the eyes of her family. Anyways, we were in the basement and she sat on top of me and we starting making out like nobody's business. After about 30 minutes of this, her mother walked in on us making out with her sitting on top of me dry humping me. Suffice it to say she was NOT happy. She yelled at us and told us to go bring the movie away. I'm talking full blown yell at us like red in the face and foaming at the mouth. I honestly thought she might punch me in the face.
So we brought the movie away. My girlfriend at the time said I should probably go home, but I said fuck that, I'm going back to your house and showing your Mom that I'm here to stay. It was probably the most awkward 30 minutes of my life as we sat there and drank tea and played cards, but I wanted to show them I cared about this girl and was not leaving. Almost 10 years later (and 6 years of dating and a hard break up) I still talk to these people. I am part of their family and they are part of mine. The mother invited me over a week after the incident as a peace offering, but I think that's when she realized I wasn't going to run away and I really cared about her daughter. After that, she was okay with it. I never brought it up, we never talked about it, but they got my message.
My point being - don't think of this as a fuck up. It's your chance to show them you care about this girl. If you want to make it right just show them that you care about their daughter. Treat her well in front of them, and if family is important, make an effort to get to know them. She's 21 too dude - she's an adult now. You didn't really do anything out of the ordinary.
You made sure she was somewhere safe, but they don't know that you're safe yet.
Solution: You have to show them that you are safe.
PS - Funny story. We actually gave each other our v-cards on her Mom's birthday almost a year after that. HAPPY BIRTHDAY MOM.
Wow thanks satire!
I was thinking about going to her house and talk to her dad (really chill dude) when my gf is at work, tell him that I know about the bad impression I gave to them and that I really care about her, etc
It's better to demonstrate rather than explain. Take the father to do something he will like - do you know anything? Hit golf balls, catch baseball, throw football, etc. This will show him you care about his daughter and her family, not that you're just apologizing because you got in trouble.
Originally Posted by darkstang
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