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02-19-2012, 11:21 PM #1
- Join Date
- May 2011
Greetings, friends. Haven't used this forum in a while. I would hesitate to even give myself an "intermediate" designation in terms of pickup-artistry but the routines have worked for me and I am a believer in the Love Systems program. I got into it after a 3.5 year relationship that robbed me of my social life and dignity. I dated a jealous control-freak who was such a burden in social settings that I eventually just stopped going out and having friends. We would just sit in my room fucking and watching movies every single night. I did finally manage to rid myself of her for good about a year ago for this exact reason. I couldn't take it anymore. I felt suffocated and I wanted to have my social life back. I know in my heart that it was a good decision. I have lots of new friends, male and female. I go out all the time. I don't get as much pussy as I probably should because I need to study this stuff more but I'm a reasonably good looking guy and have never had trouble with women. I'm going to law school next year. All is well. Except, all is not well. Why? Because my ex-girlfriend was incredibly hot and she fucked like a champ. Sounds shallow doesn't it? Well, it is. I tolerated the hellish experiences she inflicted on me for so long because at the end of the night I would be all up in that and it would feel worth it. Sorry for living into the male stereotype, but that's how I felt. Now I'm being subjected to an epic battle between my penis and my rationality... EVERY DAY FOR THE PAST FUCKING YEAR. I literally vascillate between "fuck the single life is so awesome, got all these bitches texting me, the independence is incredible, and I will NEVER attach another ball and chain" to masturbating furiously to vivid memories of our sexual encounters and torturing myself by looking at her facebook pictures prancing around in absurdly hot outfits with her new boyfriend. The worst part about this situation is that I can't even feel sorry for myself. I broke up with her! I can't see her as an enemy and fuel my 'moving on' period with hatred for her. She was able to do this because I initiated the break-up and, as such, she has been 'over me' for quite some time. We still keep in touch, but only through occasional messages. She goes out of her way to avoid me physically. I think it's because she's worried she might still like me more than would be prudent, but that's just speculation. Alas, that was a digression. What I want to know is: why the fuck do I feel like this? I know she is a pretty terrible person but I still think about this bitch EVERY day. Sometimes I'll even send her a random spiteful text when I'm drunk (and lonely) at the end of a night, chirping her boyfriend or making some stupid comment that only makes things worse. It's a real problem that affects my life satisfaction and mental health. My reason says "this girl was bad for you in every way. there are hotter girls out there. you made the right decision. stop being a fucking bitch and man the fuck up." My emotions / penis say "She was smoking hot. She fucked like a champ. She cooked dinner for you. She blew you while you watched sports. Now she's gone forever. Now you're alone. Now you have to masturbate all the time. Now she's going to fuck all your friends." I then imagine her having sex with my friends and feel absolutely terrible. I shit you not gentleman... This is my daily life! So, my friends, my problem is basically this: I already know my problem, but me telling myself what it is doesn't seem to fix it. I think I need other people to tell me how much of a shallow simpleton I am and how I have nobody to blame but myself. How I shouldn't be complaining because my life is otherwise great and this is a ludicrous first world problem that shouldn't even be occupying my mind for one second. I think my problem might be that she is the hottest girl I've ever had sex with. Every time I have drunken missionary sex with a random female who isn't quite as hot I end up feeling like shit. I don't even enjoy the sex sometimes. I've even been subjected to the hilariously ironic outcome of not being able to come when the girl I'm fucking has already come several times. This is not whiskey dick my friends. I'm perfectly capable of reaching orgasm during sex, drunk or not. This is me missing my ex-girlfriend. This is my heart / emotions fucking with me and it's driving me nuts. As I said before, I haven't been on this forum or studied PUA for months. I've been in a pretty good place mentally most of the time, but I've always struggled with this problem and it's what brought me here in the first place. I just came off a long session of stalking her facebook and feeling sorry for myself. I feel like such a fucking disgrace.This community has been a great help to me in my darkest hours. I need you all again. Commence with the verbal flagellation!
I'm a weak man... Please tell me the things I need to hear.
02-19-2012, 11:26 PM #2
- Join Date
- Oct 2011
The reason you feel this way is simple: You allow yourself to!
DELTE her from facebook. Not unsubscribe or any of that pussy bullshit. DELETE her then block her so you can't even search for her name on facebook to re-friend her (privacy settings).
DELETE her number then have it blocked.
DELETE her email, DELETE everything about her.
Then ask yourself how you went through life before her. Then pick up your balls and move on.
It will be painful, it will suck, you will feel weak, etc. That's fine. But you know what sucks even more than what you're going through. Being a weak dumbass and continuing this self inflicted torture day in and day out.
02-20-2012, 06:54 AM #3
- Join Date
- Jul 2006
There was a "take the good with the bad" situation with the ex. You feel like she's the hottest girl you're ever going to get, and at the same time, created a toxic environment where she was possessive, and I'm sure it was all gradual, until it got to a place where she felt she had the control.
The sex came with a price. Your health, your self esteem. Over time, she's going to get older and not look as hot, guys aren't going to be as attracted to her. Maybe she'll have a family by then, maybe not.
I don't know why you would worry about her having sex with your friends - that says a lot about her as a person if she's trying to date your friends. I'd have no respect for her if she did that and wanted to let me know about it. Or my friends for that matter, but they'd want her not telling me, or somehow finding out... Falling in love's another story, at least if it seems legit, I'd give my blessings but think my friend was an idiot.
I know you wish she was miserable and lonely, but what she did to you she's going to do to other guys. Best thing to do is feel sorry for them.
The good thing about Facebook is even if you delete them from your list, you can still write her through there. I wouldn't completely block them unless I felt they were trying to play head games and get me worked up.
You gave her 3 and a half years and for whatever reason, you have your version of it, she has hers, it didn't work out.
Girls like that come easy, they're wonderful in the beginning, but over time, you realize they're completely lying about who they really are. If you knew she was controlling from the beginning, you might have banged her and ran, but everything happened over time, part of you really enjoyed her, but then this other side of her started emerging and it wasn't what you thought it was going to be.
Be happy she's trying to avoid you.
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