Discuss How to get over a slight obsession...? at the Relationships within the The Attraction Forums. Dating Advice.; How to get over a slight obsession...?
The relationship is over, and yet, I find ...
How to get over a slight obsession...?
The relationship is over, and yet, I find it hard to get him out of my mind. I find myself thinking about him, checking my email many times a day, rehashing details of what happened between us, feeling resentful, vengeful, etc.
I've taken steps...I've erased every photo, letter, email, etc. that were to do with him. I've joined a few social activities, one which meets four hours out of the week and is extremely fun and interactive(a theater course).
Is there something more I should be doing? I hate myself sometimes for thinking so much about him when in my logical mind I know its over and he's not even what I want. Weird eh? It's just obsessive. It's not based on reality...I don't know but it feels so unhealthy and I'm so tired of it. Any advice on how to neutralize my feelings and eliminate thoughts of him?
thanks in advance,
The best way out of this situation is to meet a new boy you will like. I know it is hard but try to not think about him. Try to be with your friends and go out more often. Time cures everything.
Yeah its true it just takes time, theres really nothing you can do about it, having another bf will make you think about it less, but you will still think of them, you'll find sometimes even your next partner only remind you about your ex's too.
Its so annoying when they randomly pop into your head too, makes you think your going crazy :/ but your not the strangest things can spark a memory.
Someone once told me the more you invest yourself into a relationship the more time it will take to move on if it ends, its true what they say though aswell, from personal experience, it takes half the time you were with someone for to have these random memory "pop ins" to go away.
These social activities are the best thing you can do for yourself. Its not to get over anything, its just good for YOU.
Try online dating. One's this helped me much. There a lot of good sites like Okcupid Pof or Livedatesearch.
You're in the middle of pulling yourself together and have to accept that it's going to take time to move on from him, but everyone moves on at different times. If you know a relationship's dead months before you say it's over, you move on faster than getting blindsided that your partner's running off with someone tomorrow, or finding out that you were the last to know he or she was having an affair.
Just box the memorabilia up, and then decide whether to keep or burn. Give your mom or sister a photo or two so you have something later to go "I'm so glad it happened, my head's in a better place". Sometimes writing a goodbye letter getting the feelings on paper helps, but either burn it up or put it somewhere no one's going to look except you.
In terms of dating, just look at it as another thing to do like your theater group. If someone seems to want more than to hang out here and there, next them. If someone gives you a creepy vibe, make it a one date deal and if you start hearing from them constantly, tell them to f- off.
People have a lot of hopes and dreams in the future of a relationship, and for some reason or other, crap happens and have to get through it.
As far as eliminating someone out of your life? I can and have done that, but over time, you start getting nostalgic for them. I just thought it would be a waste of time thinking about someone I'm not with anymore. You can't completely eliminate someone you love or have loved, but you can treat it like a chapter in a book, and move on to a new chapter.
Originally Posted by Pamela
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