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Discuss Long Distances: Deal or No Deal? at the Relationships within the The Attraction Forums. Dating Advice.; Long Distances: Deal or No Deal? Just to make it clear, I'm looking for advice ...
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    Long Distances: Deal or No Deal?

    Just to make it clear, I'm looking for advice on two things: Firstly, whether or not I should break up with my LTR and, secondly, if I do, how I should go about doing it.

    I've been dating this HB8 for the past 6 or 7 months (of which four have been spent almost 2k miles apart), and I don't know whether or not I should continue to date her.

    Although I've been getting almost overwhelming vibes saying that I should end it, but I am not entirely certain. I feel a sense of need for this girl that I've not really ever felt before (my only other LTR was almost 3 years and she was a vindictive, controlling bitch). I'd like to call it love, but I wouldn't assume to be experienced or knowledgeable enough to make that decision. When we're together, it's almost entirely sexual because we don't get that much time together, so when we do, we.. make the most of it. Unfortunately, I'll be leaving in 2 weeks to be away for another 4 months and I might not be coming back for the summer.

    My question is, should I end it now and have a semester free, able to make the most of it, knowing that I left behind a girl that I may very well love? Or should I stay with her and try to salvage what we can until I can stay?

    Also, if I do end up breaking it off, what would be the best way to go about it?

    Thanks a heap in advance,
    LB



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    I've been in a similar situation recently, long distance with some oneitis. My advice is definately to break up... something like

    "Hey... When we are together things are great, but we arent together enough. Maybe we shouldnt see eachother as a relationship anymore, but i would love for us to see eachother when we can. call or email when you would like to visit, take care" ... gives you a way to keep the sex, possibly further down the line.

    A few further points.

    There are plenty of women local to you, and you are probably still young. Why get involved in long distance masturbation?

    Your instincts are usually right, I ignored mine despite advice on here. The advice was right.

    Its very hard to maintain LDRs, women need sex and you need to give it to them to keep things good. LDRs also rely on a plan of action long term, yours is uncertain and the relationship is looking forward to nothing.

    The relationship seems doomed, prolonging it (or getting the most of it as you say) would only make it harder to break up further down the line, and any oneitis would be increased.

    There are plenty of other women to get the things you want (sex/love) from within reasonable reach. Concentrate on that. The fact is the reason most people stay in LDRs is because of a scarcity mentality, get that inner game solid and you will be on the most successful path for yourself.

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    Don't do it. Long distance is virtually impossible.

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    Vapor is offline Administrator Emeritus
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    LDR works when you can a) still see each other periodically and b) have a firm date on when distance will no longer be a problem.

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