Discuss She thinks she doesn't have to put any effort in anymore because I already like her at the Relationships within the The Attraction Forums. Dating Advice.; ^^ That's never bad advice.
Otherwise women will sometimes 'throw darts'. Read: Do little dumb ...
^^ That's never bad advice.
Otherwise women will sometimes 'throw darts'. Read: Do little dumb shit to get you pissed off.....this is her brain's subconscious way of building emotional connection with you. She knows (subconsciously mind you) that if she can get you into an argument with her then you'll both get subjective (deep into your emotions) and come out of it with a greater emotional connection. Of course men don't really work that way, normally we'll do as you did and desire freedom. So if its not dealt with the darts get bigger and bigger.
If you can develop a greater emotional connection with her (so that she 'feels felt' by you) then these darts will stop...for a time She'll also be more feminine (lubby dubby) with you, which is what you want. Actively listening and effectively communicating are what you need to do to stop this.
Note: she has no idea she is doing this for the aforementioned reason, but that's why. Women must feel understood.
PS: some women are just crazy, don't confuse throwing darts with being emotionally abusive and destructive. Most of you guys will though
Is this true, or is it just what she believes? If I start arguments with girls who already somewhat like me, will it make them feel closer to me afterward?
Originally Posted by D3tail
"develop a greater emotional connection" as in build comfort? or do you have specific things you do to do this?
If you can develop a greater emotional connection with her (so that she 'feels felt' by you) then these darts will stop...for a time
She'll also be more feminine (lubby dubby) with you, which is what you want.
In an LTR, sure. If you're talking about someone you're with for a few years, definitely good advice. Girls like this haven't really experienced "relationships" though. They're more like peer approved boyfriends and usually spend so much time together that one day out of the blue they can lose interest and start flirting with other guys, just like that. Nothing annoys boyfriends more than her constantly having her friends around. Eventually people get in serious relationships, and the circle of friends winds up being affected. Some girls want to stay single as long as possible, but some are craving for a solid relationship.
Girls can get bored fast and ready to move on after a few months... or their entire world becomes about their boyfriend, and when it falls apart, she turns that love to hate.
Originally Posted by john_trenor
Develop an emotional connection= her feeling understood. She has to feel like you 'get her'.
Originally Posted by a11111
And no, lol, don't start fights...remember this is all subconscious, and she'll throw those darts only if there isn't enough of a connection...that's symptomatic of the deeper issue...which is that she doesn't feel understood.....you have to refresh things like that weekly or so. Comfort is a part of it yes. Maybe all of it depending upon how you define the term.
Remember women cope with stress by becoming subjective with it...talking it out, crying, etc... Men need to get past all of that to a place of objectivity...if I do A then I can deal with this, etc...
Its also true that when a woman shares an emotional experience with even a complete stranger then they are far more likely to find him attractive afterwards...there was a British study with a blind date meeting up on a bridge that swayed in the wind or sth.
But no, don't start fights. And yes, it may make them feel closer to you afterward.
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