Discuss Caught my gf online cheating with her ex at the Relationships within the The Attraction Forums. Dating Advice.; Caught my gf online cheating with her ex
I have posted in this forum ...
If you want to end it with someone, you don't text them "it's over". You tell them "we have to talk".
You don't break up via text unless you're in a LDR. She's now embarrassed about this and doesn't want to face you, but you did this, not her. You blew that chance to talk to her face to face as soon as you did that.
Pretty simple - you snooped twice and you found her hand in the cookie jar. She screwed up after a year, but all relationships take 2 people to screw it up.
Someone who's not over their ex - in the end there's nothing to be mad about. They have a stronger history that your relationship wasn't strong enough to handle, and it might be a shitty relationship, but she can find that out in due time for herself.
You and her should talk to each other, but tell her "I'm going to give the bike back to your mom, I'm paying her the money back, and either you can be with me to let her know it's over, or I'll just tell her myself." I guarantee she's going to try to get a hold of you because she doesn't want you embarrassing her by saying something negative about her.
My advice - don't bring up what you read to her, or her mom. If she knows you read the chats, she feels humiliated. There's no point in piling on or even being angry at her. You're not married to her or live with her, or have a kid with her. You just part ways and meet someone else who isn't hung up on their ex.
I don't think there's any reason to get back together with her, but don't ask her for explanations why. It's an ex, and sometimes you never get over your ex.
Nothing happened with them except chatting and texting. Try to work on relationships where you can talk to your gf more than texting her.
You're not a victim,so forget about all the "how could you do this to me" stuff. If you were busted having a conversation like that and your gf read it, you wouldn't want to face her either.
Shred the proof or light it up and burn it. It's already burned into your brain as it is.
Okay mate, listen up. A few years ago I had the same issue as you. I didnt trust my girl, I was jalous all the time and I checked her chats etc. Finally I fucked it up by being so needy and desperate. To keep a girl attracted to you, you will need to be willing to take the risk to loose her. Dont be predictable etc. Aswell you reaaally need some attitude man. I got a girlfriend right now after 3 years of fucking around helped by MM and I enjoy the relationship. I do things she dont suspect, I am flirting with other girls when she is with me (to show that I have other options and I am everything except desperate and needy in the relationship) and I am doing a lot of fun, exciting things with her when I feel like we had a boring week. You have to invest in the relationship but also have to be more confident and less carring. Aslong as you continuely care about loosing her, you will.
So my advice: if you have a relationship, be a bit of a jerk and a sweet guy at the same time. Do the romantic unsuspected things, but also be to late on appointments, flirt with other girls and tell her about how much fun it was to flirt with that girl and reject her (she will be like: my man can get other girls but in the end chooses for me ... this will always make her aware that you dont need her so she will have to try her best to keep you) and put your friends on the first place. (I mean that sometimes you should cancel a appointment with her and go to your friends, and sometimes just show up spontanously)
This will keep your relationship more fun and exciting and you will see that she will invest more in you and you will have the pants on in the relationship, she will stay in love aslong you let her fight for you once in a while.
and then here it comes: my #1 rule on cheating. If a girl, for excample MY girl, ever cheats on me I am just being relaxt about it and will say its no problem. Then I will seduce one of her best friends and I will fuck her. WHY? First of all, a girl cheats because its exciting and she is bored of you, but when she did it and you dont seem impressed she feels fucked up about it because she didnt start the fire like she wanted and she doesnt seem to be so important to you that you care. Then why fuck one of her best friends? You will simple make a statement. If she cheats, its fine and you arent pissed on her (or atleast dont show it) and then when you just fuck her best friend like that and just again dont make a problem of it and dont start a fight but just let her find out she will know that she has you but also can easily loose you. And finally: you will be on the same level again, you throwed up a huge wall for her noose which prevent the next cheating and ... you fucked her best friend which is hilarious :P
Fuck explanations. She's not over him and wants to fuck him? What do you need from her? To hear "Yes I wanted to fuck him all along and you were just a tampon to be used. And lousy one, because I'm still not over him"? If it were me, I'd drop her cold turkey. I don't like anyone going behind my back. I recently told my 2 "friends" to go fuck themselves because of that.
If it's fine, you didn't really care about her. Which is hardly a bad thing in that case though.
If she cheats, its fine and you arent pissed on her
Originally Posted by CMPitts
Originally Posted by Soul
Dump her, move on, and you'll find someone better who isn't attached to her ex. I've been down that road, and girls who aren't over previous relationships are essentially cheating on you emotionally from the start. Stay away from them.
Problem with this is revenge fucking the best friend isn't always a possibility or she has UG friends that no matter how much you drank, you couldn't go through with it, and when your gf or wife's caught and wants to keep the relationship going, she might even expect you to do it, or encourage you to do it, so you and her are "even".
If a girl did this to me... I'd leave. I want her to talk to her first (and I wouldn't sound upset over the phone, just find a time to see her that day and pull my shit together), then maybe give her the proof (or just refer to what you read in the chat, that's more than enough proof), hear what she has to say, and say nothing about the future of the relationship. And then in a couple of weeks, after I've seen what else was out there,reconnected with old friends, and all that, talk to her with a clear mind. Maybe I did or didn't have sex with someone. Maybe I spent those 2 weeks reading.
What might happen is her family and friends might try to talk to you, mostly about how you're doing, just assume she's trying to find out through them how you're doing, and just keep it basic and short. Be polite and friendly to them, because you could still maintain contact with them. If they think what she did was stupid, they're more on your side, but at the end of the day they're her friends and family. But it doesn't mean if you see them out and about that you can't talk to them.
My only rule is don't lie to me, and I tell anyone that wants to be in a relationship with me is that they need to tell me when it's not going right, but a lot of times it's so subtle and under the radar, that women don't even realize how far things have gone when they're in the middle of it. They're just unhappy in the LTR and want to find something to make them happy. It can be as harmless as a conversation, but having that convo with an ex isn't harmless. It's going off what you've experienced and very dangerous. I know if I was hanging with my ex I could sleep with her even though she's married. I can make her forget about her current relationship. I also know if someone has a history with someone else, the same thing can happen to me if he's more persuasive than I am.
Originally Posted by Irathus
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