Discuss Advice at the Relationships within the The Attraction Forums. Dating Advice.; Advice
Alright, so I'm really not proud of this but hopefully you guys understand and ...
Alright, so I'm really not proud of this but hopefully you guys understand and can help me out. So basically ex broke up with me a little over 2 months ago, and i was shitty for a while but i've been hooking up with girls (three 7's and one 6)...not bad for rebound hookups. I want to get better and get my confidence to the point where I am getting 8's and 9's again, but that is besides the point. It's also been nice to have girls hitting on me and texting me to hang out and shit too, but I'm still not over my ex despite all this.
Anyways, so my ex told me her facebook password a while ago so I could like look at a message or something, and I have a really good memory so it stuck unfortunately. She hasn't changed it since the breakup b/c I think she forgot I know it. Anyways I've been pretty good about not going on, but like in the garden of eden I have sinned and gone for the fordbidden fruit from time to time. I went on when I was drunk and a little down about getting shot down a few times on saturday and I saw some shit that made me really sad. She hasn't just been hooking up, she pretty much fell in love with another guy and he ditched her. They'd be dating right now if he didn't do that. Fucking sucks to think she would turn around and do that. Felt like I was back to square one for a moment. Anyways, how do I go about getting her to change it? I haven't talked to her since the breakup and really don't want to. My friend suggested putting a status of hers up that like seems like a virus or something to maybe get her to change it. All suggestions welcome. Also feel free to give me advice on how to not be a pussy about my ex. Thanks.
Question if you really remember that password. "Password is xxxyyyy. Or maybe xxyyy. Or xxxxyyy? Fuck! "
That's how I was doing it. With numbers.
Originally Posted by CMPitts
Originally Posted by Soul
You could man up and not look at her shit again.
OR Send her a message that says "I know your password, change it before I do"
:: Mirrors and Illusions - Reflections and Viewpoints ::
I agree with both, if you can't control yourself then send her a message that she should change it because you know her password and if something happens, you don't want to be blamed.
Originally Posted by alekzander
I agree with all the above advice. I would have a sense of humour about your message, so it doesn't imply that you are still hurting. Be like " I still know your password... you should probably change it before I give in to temptation and make tub girl your profile pic". If she doesn't change it after a few days, I actually would start fucking around on her facebook, make funny/embarassing status updates, etc.
Another thing about reading her messages, is that right now you are inclined to view everything with the most negative tilt. She is of course gonna develop crushes for other guys, just like you'll have crushes on other girls. My ex broke up with me, and then I read some of her messages about her "meeting the loveliest guy" at a bar etc, and it really upset me, but in retrospect this turned out to be a meaningless thing, and she was exaggerating the description of him just so she could feel like she was moving on. Your girl is probably doing the same thing. She will lie to herself about how great other guys are, just so she doesn't have to feel like she really has lost something as valuable as what she just lost. Noone guy can ever do in one night, what I (or you) could do in a whole relationship. Once you understand that, you won't be threatened by her going out and meeting other people. Girls who think that looking great a bar for one night or going on a few succesful dates = a significant step in replacing a boyfriend are shallow, and inevitably become fish for PUA-shark.
just change her password. she will do the forgot password shit and it will send her a new one and she will change it and then you don't have to say anything.
sounds like you had a normal relationship. you guys were good for eachother for a little while. then you outgrew eachother. now it's time to move on.
no biggie. live life.
Thanks guys. I went with Jim's approach mainly because I want to keep the no contact thing going. In a lot of ways I feel like I've gained my manhood back since the relationship ended and I feel like messaging her might run counter to this. I also don't want her to know that she has any sort of power over me, because she used to talk a lot of shit to me when we were dating about how pathetic her other ex was being and stuff. I don't want to be the topic of those conversations with her new guys.
I guess when I step back from everything I realize that she does kinda suck. She is going to wake up one day and realize that she really fucked up when I am happy with a gorgeous, amazing woman and she is smoking meth with the next piece of trailer trash that manages to play off her insecurities just enough to get in her pants. I just hate that I'm still kinda hung up on her, but I figure once I start being real confident in myself again that will go away. Anyways peace easy dudes, I am feeling a lot better about myself now that my last little connection to her is cut off.
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