How to deal with her super LSE?

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  1. #1
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    How to deal with her super LSE?

    The problem is my gf will freeze out or go into a mood at the slightest thing. She gets jealous so easily. She thinks I'm flirting with girls whenever I'm just being nice. She gets wild mood swings and recently we have been talking about ending it.

    I don't think either of us want to though. I'm not very good with words, but I'd like to do or say something just to reassure her and STOP her from being irrational and insecure.

    Sorry for the length.



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    This doesn't sound like LSE per se. The phrase "wild mood swings" calls to mind borderline personality disorder. It's rare, so I won't go into detail, but I had a girlfriend who initially appeared LSE (telling me how much smarter I was, difficulty making eye contact) and moved to crazy fits of possessiveness (telling me she loved me, accusing me of looking at other girls) mixed with total indifference (saying she was going to get back together with her ex). I stumbled across the book "I Hate You, Don't Leave Me," and realized what I was dealing with. If you're dealing with inexplicable mood swings from day to day, this might be worth checking out. The solution to this problem, btw, is to get the hell out and don't look back.

    Less serious "mood swings" suggest a more banal cause. Dated a girl like that, too. She was on the pill for starters (which anecdotally make girls crazy) and I would take her frequent shit tests seriously--I would get angry or argue about something rather than trying to deflect the conflict. Classic beta--I let her dictate my mood. My guess is that your problem probably relates to this. You have to reestablish control by brushing it off. Don't feed the beast. These days I usually resort to the absurd (Stroke her face and say "Sorry, but I need a girl with more facial hair."), but anything that treats her behavior as something to be laughed at is fine.

    Quote Originally Posted by lburnham View Post
    The problem is my gf will freeze out or go into a mood at the slightest thing. She gets jealous so easily. She thinks I'm flirting with girls whenever I'm just being nice. She gets wild mood swings and recently we have been talking about ending it.

    I don't think either of us want to though. I'm not very good with words, but I'd like to do or say something just to reassure her and STOP her from being irrational and insecure.

    Sorry for the length.

  3. #3
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    I don't understand why you wouldn't be interested in breaking up too. You just said that you are unhappy.

    What would you tell a girl that would tell you:

    "My boyfriend beats me up all the time. I have a couple bruises. But when he doesn't beat me up, he is really nice. I don't want to break up, what should I do to make things better?"
    /relationships/96856-insecurities-cheating.html

    /relationships/97993-insecurities-being-clingy-needy.html

    /relationships/108019-insecurities-snooping.html

    /relationships/98888-how-apologize.html

    /relationships/117426-how-choosing-gift-your-gf.html

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    This isn't a matter of wanting to, it's a matter of continuing on and having her on your ass, letting her mind jump to conclusions.

    And when her mind jumps to conclusions, it can lead to bad outcomes.
    Cheating (you or her), clinginess, tantrums, etc.

    If you don't like what a gf is doing, you're either going to have to say something about it or accept things the way they are.

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