My girlfriend is being selfish in bed what do I do

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  1. #1
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    My girlfriend is being selfish in bed what do I do

    Ok so I have been with this girl for 5 months and when we first started having sex things were fine for about 2 weeks. Then she stopped giving me handjobs oral or even tongue kissing me!!! and when she did (aka when I asked straight up will you etc) she did it very half assed. It took me a month or so to really start to care cause I was to excited about pleasing her to mind. I had been thinking about talking to her and addressing the issue but I was nervous about it and didn't want to bring up such a touchy subject.

    However I can no longer hold my peace recently we were at my house kissing touching yadda yadda I started fingering her and went tell my wrist was on fire and I started slowing down she complained so I switched hands and kept at it for a good 15-20 mins before finally finishing her off by performing oral. After, I got very close to her with my erection pressing against her legs smiled at her and kissed her after the kiss she rolled over facing away from me and would not return the favor I held off from explicitly saying what I wanted but it was pretty damn clear. Anyways sorry for the long winded rant my question is how do I broach the subject of her selfishness in bed without making her feel like crap she has self confidence issues and is quite sensitive.



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    Umm..so why are you with this chick exactly? seriously..you deserve better. You have only two choices. Train her for the next guy or bin her immediately. if you want to keep her you have to start doing stuff in a positive way (aww honey..I love when you suck my cock) and when she does give positive encouragement (that is so good what you are doing..yeah baby thats it) and after tell her how hot that was. Keep directing her encouraging her "remember that time you let me cum on your tits..that was so hot..makes me hard thinking abou that"..encourage her to share fantasies with you etc.

    But personally if a chick is this retarded when it comes to sex (really..she made you give her hand love for 20 minutes then rolled over and went to sleep?) I would shit can her and find a hot little monkey instead..life is too short for months without blow jobs..

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    Well I am with her because she is a great girlfriend otherwise she always asks how I am doing gives me back rubs, cooks for me when im low on time never fails to get me a gift on holidays that kinda stuff. Thanks for the advice hopefully the cause of this isn't just plain selfishness cause I love her and want things to work out

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    It's not JUST selfishness....it's insecurity and Low Self Esteem.

    It is not normal or healthy for a girl to not give blowjobs, enjoy giving blowjobs, and WTF on not kissing passionately?

    Has this girl been raped??

    I'm surprised she allows herself to orgasm to tell you the truth.

    All that other stuff you say she does is basic and seems like a front.

    You need to address these things now or one of two things will happen:

    Your relationship will deteriorate and you will break up bitter and resentful.

    Your relationship will deteriorate and you will be her little pussy bitch boytoy.

    What will it be?
    Be the Alpha! Be the Prize!

    Carpe Diem! No Regrets!

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    I think Precious could have a point, although she did give you blowjobs etc at first...
    It could be that she's got too much stress on her mind (makes most women loose their sex-drive), in that case, you should talk to her about it.
    Or she's just being lazy, in which case you could try getting her all horny, and refusing to finish it until she pleases you. (You can just lie back with a "your turn!")

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    Quote Originally Posted by Witness1 View Post
    I had been thinking about talking to her and addressing the issue but I was nervous about it and didn't want to bring up such a touchy subject.
    if you want to continue with this girl then be a man and speak to her for fucks sake !

    personally i'd start by showing concern and asking if everything is ok with her. if she says, 'yeah fine', then say, 'its just that that lately i've noticed yada yada yada'

    i'd keep it framed as you showing concern for her, as opposed to being frustrated about not getting enough in bed. i'm sure others may disagree, and choose to be more direct, but i think this approach is less likely to make her defensive on the subject.

    either way, you need to address this ASAP, and if it doesnt resolve itself anytime soon, start looking for someone else.

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    You have to think about why things were like that in the beginning, and eventually went away...after 2 weeks.

    When you're with someone CONSTANTLY and find yourself in a relationship within weeks, sex can become complacent and lazy.

    One thing you need to learn in life - women will use sex to get what they want, and a lot of women don't know themselves well enough to actually enjoy it (issues that were going on long before you were in the picture).

    She doesn't have to work to keep you happy. And some women see sex as a chore...until they want to have a baby, or make it a "special event" situation (bought her tix to a favorite concert, took her out to a hotel).

    Begging for sex is a huge DLV. Even if she's on the rag, she should still be pleasing you, because there are times she's going to wake you up to get some. It's a trade off.

    I'd create some distance for now, not staying the night as much. If she thinks she's losing you, she's either going to assume you're cheating, or will try to keep you happy.

    You want her to be the one pursuing you, because a guy can (usually) be ready for it at any time.


    QUOTE=Witness1;674540]Ok so I have been with this girl for 5 months and when we first started having sex things were fine for about 2 weeks. Then she stopped giving me handjobs oral or even tongue kissing me!!! and when she did (aka when I asked straight up will you etc) she did it very half assed. It took me a month or so to really start to care cause I was to excited about pleasing her to mind. I had been thinking about talking to her and addressing the issue but I was nervous about it and didn't want to bring up such a touchy subject.

    However I can no longer hold my peace recently we were at my house kissing touching yadda yadda I started fingering her and went tell my wrist was on fire and I started slowing down she complained so I switched hands and kept at it for a good 15-20 mins before finally finishing her off by performing oral. After, I got very close to her with my erection pressing against her legs smiled at her and kissed her after the kiss she rolled over facing away from me and would not return the favor I held off from explicitly saying what I wanted but it was pretty damn clear. Anyways sorry for the long winded rant my question is how do I broach the subject of her selfishness in bed without making her feel like crap she has self confidence issues and is quite sensitive.[/QUOTE]

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    Man ya all you need to do is speak to her. Let her know how it makes you happy. As well no girl likes giving blowjob only if she's a pornstar and is willing to swallow. So talk to her and as well lie even if she sucks , just tell her she does such a good job.
    Ready Sex,Go!

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    Quote Originally Posted by clik View Post
    Man ya all you need to do is speak to her. Let her know how it makes you happy. As well no girl likes giving blowjob only if she's a pornstar and is willing to swallow. So talk to her and as well lie even if she sucks , just tell her she does such a good job.
    No girl likes giving blowjobs?? You're batshit crazy, EVERY girl likes giving them if it's not made out to be a necessity or a chore.

    If she has HSE she will just like it to please you no matter what.

    When it comes to sex talking about things can be very risky as females love to take it as "All you care about is SEX!!"

    You just need to withhold things from her, that's the most important thing....proper punishment and proper reward.

    If things can't get equal and not cause you stress then this will be a FB and not much else.
    Be the Alpha! Be the Prize!

    Carpe Diem! No Regrets!

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