How much time is best spent together in early stages of relationship ?

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  1. #1
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    How much time is best spent together in early stages of relationship ?

    been seeing this girl for around 10 wks now, the last month or so we're starting to feel really close and it seems like a real solid base for a relationship. she wants to come over to mine most nights and stays over maybe 3-4 times a week.

    now as much as i enjoy her company i cant help but feel the regularity of getting together may prove detrimental in the long term. thing is, its normally her that asks to come round, lets do something etc... so should i be knocking her back more ?

    although we are close, she is still semi tangled up in a former relationship and while i'm aware of the need to be scarce from time to time, i dont want to push her away too much. not to mention the fact that i enjoy her company and am honestly glad to see her when she comes over.

    any thoughts on this, and the general question of how much time to spend together at this stage?



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    Simple rule my friend. The less time you spend together the better. Especially in the first few months. You need to be busy, show your friends some time, get out and about. Losing your social standing to be with a girl is not something you want to do.
    Do you want to be the best? First you have to beat the best.

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    Keep your options open, she might be a potential LTR, but I wouldn't spend more or less time with her until she knows what she wants. I'd probably want to create a little bit of distance only because you're growing comfortable with her and she's not fully into you yet.

    Have fun, no worries. When she brings up ending it with the guy, then just let her end it and do your own thing for a while, until she gets that over with. You want there to be closure.

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    cheers for the replies fellas

    i can see the logic in being scarce, letting her miss me etc, thing is that she is normally the one instigating us getting together (asking to come round, meet up etc). so should i be knocking her back more often ?

    there are times when i'm more than to happy to chill at home on my own, she calls up and ends up coming over. like i said, i dont mind this (to be honest i like it), but can understand the need to be less available. so should i knock her back on some of these occasions ?

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    id say for every few times she initiates a meetup, you initiate. gotta be fair

    and since this is the early stages of the relationship, it never looks unattractive to be busy.

    but heres the thing, are you FAKING being busy to increase attractiveness, or are you legitimately placing priority on certain things in your life OVER her?

    the way i see it, do you think she comes over, b/c shes just bored and has nothing else to do and is wondering if u r bored too?

    or does she come over b/c she really likes you and loves spending time with you? (judge her actions)

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    Quote Originally Posted by restore View Post
    id say for every few times she initiates a meetup, you initiate. gotta be fair

    and since this is the early stages of the relationship, it never looks unattractive to be busy.

    but heres the thing, are you FAKING being busy to increase attractiveness, or are you legitimately placing priority on certain things in your life OVER her?

    the way i see it, do you think she comes over, b/c shes just bored and has nothing else to do and is wondering if u r bored too?

    or does she come over b/c she really likes you and loves spending time with you? (judge her actions)

    genuinely i believe the latter. dont get me wrong here, things are great when we are together and i do believe she is 'falling for me' (apologies for the corny phrase). my only concern is that too much of a good thing can potentially lead to problems/staleness later on.

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    thats a bridge you can cross when it appears,

    keep doing what you are doing. since apparently it seems to be working and making you stay happy (and her happy!)

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    Quote Originally Posted by Flash_2k10 View Post
    Simple rule my friend. The less time you spend together the better. Especially in the first few months. You need to be busy, show your friends some time, get out and about. Losing your social standing to be with a girl is not something you want to do.
    Exactly. I can't fucking stand soft fucking guys who disappear in a relationship. I mean, do your thing but, if your the kinda fucker who disappears and flops on your friends, your gonna get fucked when she gets bored of your ass dumps you, and you have no friends. I was tight with some dude, he started going out with some fat bitch who dumped his ass and i get this call after a couple of years. Seriously, fuck off man. I don't know a [insert name].

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