Wants to get married

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  1. #1
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    Wants to get married

    Me and this girl are in a relationship for 7 months now..

    Anyway, last night we were talking and she suddenly brings up marriage.. And asks me if I want to marry her. I reply "I am not sure, darling". She suddenly gets all pissed off and shit. Asking me whats the point of a freaggin relationship if you arent going to get married. I tell her that I started relationship with her because I find her attractive. And now kinda love her.

    She is still mad. I try to explain to her that I COULD lie and say that I would want to marry her. But I prefer not to lie. And that marriage is an extremely big step. For some reason she doesnt understand this..

    Now.. prior to this. I asked her if she wanted to go downtown with me today. I just called her, she didnt pick up the phone.

    I've decided that if she cant live with the fact that I am not sure that I wish to marry her, that she can fuck off.

    All this crap of hers can also be a shit test.. Any advice people ? Would it be best if I abandoned her ?



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    You are 18, you have been dating 7 months.
    Thats not a shit test, thats her being irrational.
    MLTR+ONS+TAF=vita obscura

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    silverghost is offline TAF Hall of Fame Lounge Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by silverghost View Post
    the comes to mind...

    LOL. Yeah.. I guess so.

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    Quote Originally Posted by kelly_monaco View Post
    You are 18, you have been dating 7 months.
    Thats not a shit test, thats her being irrational.
    Hmm. Yeah you are right. Her behaviour is irrational. She popped the big question too soon lol. She herself isnt even 18.. She shouldnt even be thinking about marriage yet. Her parents are Christians. No offense to any Christians but I think they brainwashed her.

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    Quote Originally Posted by ImmaniSC View Post
    Hmm. Yeah you are right. Her behaviour is irrational. She popped the big question too soon lol. She herself isnt even 18.. She shouldnt even be thinking about marriage yet. Her parents are Christians. No offense to any Christians but I think they brainwashed her.
    yeap, people make different judgement decisions based on how they were raised, their own expectations etc.
    There will be problems in relationships when two people want different things out if it.
    Be firm with what you feel, you obviously posted here cause you didnt agree with what she wants from relationship. If you tell her what you want, and its different from what she wants she has choice: accept it or not.

    If she doesnt, thats life, people want different things from relationships and you need to be with sumone that wants same things from relationship as you. If you want gf and no pressure or talk about marriage, thats what you must go out and find.
    MLTR+ONS+TAF=vita obscura

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    She might be sexually frustrated but wants to wait until she gets married to do it.

    Don't get married until you both know what career path you're going to be on. Romantic idealism and wedding day doesn't cover Maslow's basics, living on love is for poems and songs, and doesn't come into play when you get bills coming in and she's used to daddy paying for everything.

    When she can go out of her own pocket to buy you things and take you out to dinner, fine. When she's looking forward to having a romantic weekend with you and you alone and she saved up for the room? Great. But hopefully in a few weeks you're not the one paying for it because she overcharged the credit card.

    I give a relationship to marriage 4-5 years to make the decision. That's also why you have to get the promise ring and then the engagement ring (nothing expensive that you're not going to get upset about if you break up), it just reassures her that you have intent to marry at some point. And if that's the case, let her know that when she gets her degree, then we can start talking about the rest of our lives together.

    Next time you see her, just look at her mom, look at her, and think how she's going to look in the future, and go "this is the best person for me. Ever. There is no one else that I can be as attracted to as her.". If you can't do it, end it so she can find someone else to latch on to.

    Always, always, always go with the saying "divorce is not an option" when thinking this over. It's easier to get out of a relationship before you're married then once you're in one.

    She's not getting what she wants right now...just like the girl in Willy Wonka who wanted whatever she wanted right now.

    Quote Originally Posted by ImmaniSC View Post
    Me and this girl are in a relationship for 7 months now..

    Anyway, last night we were talking and she suddenly brings up marriage.. And asks me if I want to marry her. I reply "I am not sure, darling". She suddenly gets all pissed off and shit. Asking me whats the point of a freaggin relationship if you arent going to get married. I tell her that I started relationship with her because I find her attractive. And now kinda love her.

    She is still mad. I try to explain to her that I COULD lie and say that I would want to marry her. But I prefer not to lie. And that marriage is an extremely big step. For some reason she doesnt understand this..

    Now.. prior to this. I asked her if she wanted to go downtown with me today. I just called her, she didnt pick up the phone.

    I've decided that if she cant live with the fact that I am not sure that I wish to marry her, that she can fuck off.

    All this crap of hers can also be a shit test.. Any advice people ? Would it be best if I abandoned her ?

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    Quote Originally Posted by sdnightfly View Post
    She might be sexually frustrated but wants to wait until she gets married to do it.

    Don't get married until you both know what career path you're going to be on. Romantic idealism and wedding day doesn't cover Maslow's basics, living on love is for poems and songs, and doesn't come into play when you get bills coming in and she's used to daddy paying for everything.

    When she can go out of her own pocket to buy you things and take you out to dinner, fine. When she's looking forward to having a romantic weekend with you and you alone and she saved up for the room? Great. But hopefully in a few weeks you're not the one paying for it because she overcharged the credit card.

    I give a relationship to marriage 4-5 years to make the decision. That's also why you have to get the promise ring and then the engagement ring (nothing expensive that you're not going to get upset about if you break up), it just reassures her that you have intent to marry at some point. And if that's the case, let her know that when she gets her degree, then we can start talking about the rest of our lives together.

    Next time you see her, just look at her mom, look at her, and think how she's going to look in the future, and go "this is the best person for me. Ever. There is no one else that I can be as attracted to as her.". If you can't do it, end it so she can find someone else to latch on to.

    Always, always, always go with the saying "divorce is not an option" when thinking this over. It's easier to get out of a relationship before you're married then once you're in one.

    She's not getting what she wants right now...just like the girl in Willy Wonka who wanted whatever she wanted right now.
    Hmm. You guys are really giving me something to think about XD.
    And lol.. look at her mom.. She is not the best person for me. I agree with you, I should break up with her then, so she can latch on to someone else.. but I love her too much to do so..It will break her heart. My heart is standing in the way of my head. She made me soft lol. I think Ill take kelly monaco's approach lol. See if she accepts the situation.

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    Tell her in this day and age, not everyone you date you're going to marry. You still want to see her but if she is going to make you feel pressured to get married then it's best if you guys break up.

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