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Discuss Working Things Out W/My Ex at the Relationships within the The Attraction Forums. Dating Advice.; Working Things Out W/My Ex I'll try to make this as short as possible... My ...
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    Working Things Out W/My Ex

    I'll try to make this as short as possible...
    My girl and I have been dating for 4 months. We started super strong seeing each other almost EVERY day for the first 2 months (bad idea, I know but when ur caught up in the fun its easy to go with it).
    She ended up distancing herself a couple weeks ago which confused me into thinking she wasn't interested. so I broke up w/ her when she wouldn't tell me what was going on.
    A week later she came to me saying she F'd up and should have communicated with me about her feelings. she said she was scared at how fast we were moving and scared about how strong her feelings were and backed off so she didn't get hurt. She said she loves me and I'm the perfect guy etc...
    We hung out the next day (Wednesday) and she wouldn't kiss me AT ALL! She said she wanted to take things slowly. I didn't freak out, just said "cool" and acted normal.
    Thursday we hung out again and still no kissing or affection, which I was fine with, didn't push or act needy/clingy. When I got home that night she texted me with "I wanted to kiss you so badly, I miss ur lips."
    Didn't see her Friday, but when we talked on the phone she said she loves me, and how lucky she is to have me.
    Saturday she threw a party at her house which I went to. Again, no kissing no affection at the party but we had fun. After everyone left we went to her room and layed down. I tried kissing her, but no go. So I asked her why she wasn't kissing me, she said "I really want to take things slow and one day at a time."
    Sunday morning I left her house, didn't hear from her until 11pm she said "hope ur day was great cutie, g'night."
    Monday (yesterday) I sent her a text that said "g'morning! you probably won't see me today but I thought I'd give you the gift of missing me, have a great day!
    She replied with "LOL, Hi, have an awesome and productive day." and that was it, no texts or calls from her for the entire day/night.
    I'm assuming she needs space, so I'm not freezing her out, but I'm not initiating any calls or texts.
    Is this the right approach? Should I try to be flirty and spark things up again? I refuse to be needy/clingy so I'm putting the ball in her court on this one. I've only felt this way about one other girl and I ended up marrying her.
    I know some of you are going to say "next her" and that's fine, but what I'm looking for is someone who may have experienced this or may have an idea of what's going on in her head.



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    Vapor is offline Administrator Emeritus
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    Seems weird. How old are you both and have you had sex?

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    Okay, let me get this right... She says she loves you, but she won't kiss? And she want to take it slow?! How old is she?

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    I'm 29 and she's 25. Yes, we had sex about a week after our first date.

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    Maybe she is seeing someone else that can please her sexual needs better than you? And then see you for the emotional part of her needs? I don't know, it seems very odd to me she won't kiss, because she wants to take it slow, but she has no problem telling you she loves you... Me and my girlfriend, who s'kcuf atlest 4 times on a weekend doesn't even use the "L" word..

    EDIT : Be careful with LJBF. It seems to me like it's slowly going in that direction..

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    That's definitely some mixed signals. It reminds me of this girl I was seeing a long time ago. She always said how special I was to her, how amazing things are but wouldn't kiss much or get too intimate. What I learned was that actions reveals the truth and not words. Maybe she WANTS to feel that way about you but it just isn't happening to the extent she desires. A kiss is something simple and after hanging out three times and still no kiss seems extremely odd. I can understand no sex but no kissing is very stranger considering what she is saying to you.

    Nexting her would obviously be a childish thing to do at this point. Communicate to her that's it's very odd that she says she wants to take things slow but says "I love you" to you yet won't kiss you. Those words mean so much more than an actual kiss. Either that or ramp up some attraction by playing some push and pull and frame the situation like your the prize, right now it's her. Try to go out and do some more interesting or fun things without her so you have some interesting stories to share.

    The basis of the problem is losing attraction, so try to get it back.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Pronstar View Post
    Maybe she is seeing someone else that can please her sexual needs better than you? And then see you for the emotional part of her needs?
    HAHA! doubt it man, without getting into details, our sex was bomb as fuck... But I hear ya on the LJBF thing. I'll definitely be cautious about that.
    as far as seeing someone else, that's possible. I mean that's the only logical thing I can think of, she might be caught up in the newness of someone else. I guess I'll just sit tight and keep busy with work and friends. I'm frustrated as hell cause she's so hot and cold!

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    Vapor is offline Administrator Emeritus
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    Well, it's pretty odd that you've gone from having sex to not even kissing. Unfortunately, you didn't do anything to manage the relationship, things got serious way too quickly, and now she has taken the RM role on for herself.

    Sit her down, tell her you're cool with seeing a lot less of each other for a while, but if she's taking all the intimacy out of the relationship, even kissing, that's not a relationship. That's having a buddy.

    And then you better follow through on not being attached to her hip all the time.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Monty909 View Post
    HAHA! doubt it man, without getting into details, our sex was bomb as fuck... But I hear ya on the LJBF thing. I'll definitely be cautious about that.
    as far as seeing someone else, that's possible. I mean that's the only logical thing I can think of, she might be caught up in the newness of someone else. I guess I'll just sit tight and keep busy with work and friends. I'm frustrated as hell cause she's so hot and cold!
    It was not meant as an offense, but more of a guess since I don't know the sexual relationship you guys used to have. And the quality of it. Anyway, I would say NEXT, but if you think she is worth it, be careful with the dreaded LJBF

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