Discuss I have always been confident I had superb text game untill now! help!! at the Phone/Text Game within the The Attraction Forums. Dating Advice.; I have always been confident I had superb text game untill now! help!!
This concerns ...
I have always been confident I had superb text game untill now! help!!
This concerns a hb9 who approached me in a club. We have been texting back and forth for about 2 months now. She originally stopped texting back and i brushed it off. But then i ran into her in my local nightclub and she told me she stopped getting back in touch touch with me because i was too arrogant, would take 5 hours to get back to her and she needed someone to worship the ground she walks on (lol) I told her i wernt that guy and why would she want such a weak man anyway. needless to say, we hit it off well that night and got back into texting.
Recently however things have taken a turn for the worse
Heres a transcript
me: hope you are looking after urself hb9
hb9: im good good babe how are you.x
me: im good just finished wrk. just spent day training a new bloke who said im a good teacher maybe i should be a school teacher (she teaches)
hb9: they wont love you as much as they love me, i got a card from the kids saying im speshul. when are we hooking up?xx
me: (some banter about kids buttering up teachers) depends, when you gonna ask me out on a date
Hb9: im not asking, im the girl
me: what happened to girl power?
hb9: i was too young when spice girls were hot i missed the memo
me: ok i forgot you were a wee kiddo. well my schedule is tight till my holiday i can do tormoro but not till late as i need my beauty sleep for my early flight the day after.
hb9: lets do it after you get back from holiday
me: sounds good. lets hope i dont end up getting married to a gold digger called precious out there or it may never happen
hb9: please there is no way you would find a girl better than me. woke up at 5am today!
me: i like your confidence, luckly for me ive been thru my golddigger phase fancy being my alarm and waking me at 5am for my flight?
hb9: ok ill try to remember what phase you in nowxx?
me: confident young speshul girls who wake up at 5am to wake up dashing gentlemen
hb9: lol lets see if i remember or u gonna need to search for girls on holiday
the morning of my holiday
me: can i get a refund on this alarm, lol. just woken up
hb9 lol sorry total forgot you should have reminded me
me: an alarm for an alarm. hoep you have a goo work free wkend, take a break you earned it.
hb9 lol babe my weekend is not work free. working at ann summers this weekend but you have enough fun for both of us xxxxx
a week and a half later back from holiday
me: well arent you gonna thank me for bringing sun back? i didnt have to you know
hb9: lol thanks godfather. good hols?
me: very good thanks hb9. (explain the hols with dhv's) you got day off?
hb9: good good was working i work 7 days a week
me: forgot you are hardcore watch you dont burn out young'un. u chilling in sun?
hb9: nah catching up on paperwork ill speak to you in the week
me: ok hb9 well theres a drink here with your name on in (local pub) if u decide to take a break. spk to you next week
4 days later
hello speshul one. u free tomor. if not then what days you free next week. i know its late notice but i only know if im free late in the day!
hb:9 next week is better babe im on half term xxx
me: thurs or fri is best, u free?
hb9: prob not. lets not bother. i have so much going on atm
me: lol you remind me of andy form little britain with all the changing of your mind. or a female version of me....up to you really
hb9: i just have so much happening atm, its bad timing. Ill text u in a couple of weeks n see if i have time- (THIS MADE ME LOSE MY TEMPER A BIT, LOL)
me: lol i recko just leave it for now might see u out and about sometime in the future. look after urself hb9 :-)
hb9: ok bye
WHY DID I WRITE THIS NEXT BIT.....I LOST MY TEXT GAME COMPOSURE
me: lol ur funny. i didnt mean it to sound like i was saying bye. jsut saying leave it untill its a good time. i was saying look after uself cos it sounds like u got a lot on. u doing ok?
no response ( of course)
so she updated her status later this evening moaning about how she has no social life.
3 questions guys
1. how do you rate my text game? i know the last few were weak but the rest of its solid right? How bad was my final text?
2.is this retrievable? lost my composure for just a moment and may have ruined months of good work. old insecurities starting to come back to my pua self but from her facebook status and what she has been saying in texts it seems as though she is genuinely busy and this is the real reason she keeps flaking/ doesnt want to meet yet. im thinking of just leaving it for a few weeks, or perhaps ill end up bumping into her at my local club??
3. do you agree with me that rather than a lack of attraction to me, she actually genuinely is too busy to do anything. i always use the example of what if brad pitt invited the girl on a date. im sure they would find time to spare no matter what. setting my standard high, but its done me good thus far
thanks for reading guys, and thanks in advance for any help given!I
update: coincidently she has responded just as i finished typing this thread.
hb 9: yeah i just have a lot to sort out and a lot on my mind atm. ill text u soon x
so perhaps my last text aint so bad eh? just gonna txt a short message maybe saying i hope shes ok, or maybe i should encourage her out. i do really like this girl, she has the hard working ethic that is lacking in so many hb's and good banter and i love a challenge. some one on one time with her is all i need, but its impossible to get her out!
this girl is crazy. i texted back with
ok, keep pluggin away, it'all come good eventually. g.nite
the next morning she comes back with
Lol has anyone ever told u u come across as very patronising? u constantly sound like my dad or somthing
man this chick is rude! that was a few days ago and i aint responded. tempted not to to be honest but if i did i would text somthing like "hi my little munchkin, how are you rosepetal, hope your week is going well my little gem" just to put a bit of humour on her rudeness. we guys are supposed to be unaffected right?? sometimes things are just plain rude.
How about calling her out on it? I dont put up with a lot of shit from women that think they are on a pedestal and the fact she already told you she would call you IF she has time shows she feels in control and you will be around for her whenever she decides to give you the time of day.
Sounds like she loves to shit test. You'll need some sharp wit and thick skin with this chick. Also, have you even seen her in person since the club? Sounds like "months of good work" over the phone could easily be 3 weeks of good work by not beating around the bush and getting down to business. I'm not a fan of long text conversations. It can build attraction, but you can't have intercourse over the phone.
As for the shit tests, each time you cave in with a woman like this, it feeds her ego. Flip the script. Use replies like "it's funny that you think that"... or "you don't have to play that game with me." She's on the offensive and thinks she's getting in your head, but that should stop her dead in her tracks, paving the way for you to call her out on her behavior. She'll most likely respect you for it and lighten up. It will also help you towards scoring with her as well.
Your Text Game
Originally Posted by godfather545
I found your text game to be pretty good man. There was definitely some good humor & confidence within the first part of your text game, pretty much up until the point when she started being a bit flakey. Attractive girls clearly have a lot of options - both there female friends & male "orbiters" give them a lot of attention & power - you have to be a little bit different with HB9's. Being sporadic is probably a good thing; get a bit of humor going, work out a time to meet & then leave it at that. I think that you just gave her a bit too much control at certain moments during the texting. You have to remember that any girl that you do bring into your life, should really have to invest & work for you, otherwise it just won't work. This especially goes for really attractive girls, because if they don't feel like they have to work for you then they pretty much lose interest & respect & then they start being badly behaved & you really don't want that. I highlighted some of the points where I felt you lost some power/control within the texting. I think it's definitely recoverable though, maybe just don't text her for a week or so & then invite her out somewhere fun later on.
I also really like what BRunoG was saying - "You don't have to play that game with me" & "It's funny that you think that" - those are great responses to shit tests that I've never actually heard before. The both just show that you're unaffected by her bad behavior, self aware, in-control & that she is risking losing you by being a brat. Nice!
Last edited by time_for_adventure; 06-11-2012 at 02:22 AM.
Reason: I just felt like it
Yeah what stands out is that there is a lot of texting for very little person to person contact. Text is a poor second cousin of actually seeing her. Your text game is actually pretty tight, but after a while she's gonna wonder why you aren't actually seeing her OR she is just stringing you along and is a super flaky chick
Try inviting her to specific events on the spot rather than time-bridging to 'something' in the future. Don't ask when she's free, just say "i'm going to a fuckin awesome comedy club tonight, you wanna roll with?", or even better "it's your lucky day - i'm taking you out somewhere cool on thurs, dress casual, i'll pick you up at 8"
I definitely agree with brunog above about the shit testing. One thing I've been doing is actually calling it a shit test, like saying "oh classic, is that one of your lines to test if the guy has balls? my sister does that, it's a good strategy" or some shit like that
You're right about remaining unaffected - my philosophy is never defend myself... ever. I am the man so I never need ot justify, explain or apologise for my behaviour. And learn the power of ignoring shit, like she texts "you're really patronising" you text "thanks, i just bought this shirt. so you coming to the comedy club?"
Ahhh yes! A few very good points from BassBoy as well.
A) Don't schedule things with her too far in advance. Hot girls have a lot of options & things do come up with them - Yes, if Brad Pitt called them up, they would cancel & go with him, but must of us don't have his looks or fame. So yeah, i like the idea of just randomly calling her to tag along with you to different events. The thing that is really attractive, mysterious & charming about that as well, is that then the don't really know how you feel about them, it's different from asking her out on a private date, it seems more like something you were already going to do & that she is welcome to "tag along" to keep you company. Definitely a good approach!
B) You're right about remaining unaffected - my philosophy is never defend myself... ever. I am the man so I never need ot justify, explain or apologise for my behaviour. And learn the power of ignoring shit, like she texts ******"you're really patronising" you text "thanks, i just bought this shirt. so you coming to the comedy club?"********* & this is just great too. Made me laugh.
& this - (BassBoy) One thing I've been doing is actually calling it a shit test, like saying "oh classic, is that one of your lines to test if the guy has balls? my sister does that, it's a good strategy" or some shit like that - That's actually genius because women really like the idea of a guy who "gets it". So, if you seem so aware of what she is doing when she shit tests you that you can call her out like that, it shows that you "get it", you know a thing or two about women & you have some real social intelligence. Great stuff man!
"How is daddy's lilttle girl?"
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