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Known this girl my entire life, went to highschool together the ...
Very Confused Please Help
Known this girl my entire life, went to highschool together the whole nine yards. We had small conversations here and there but hungout with different people so nothing ever became of it. Last week I took her out to a restaurant, everything was going great, lots of laughs, good conversation, no askward moments, hands down the most comfortable date i've ever been on. Afterwards took her back to my place and we cuddled and watched a movie, after the movie we talked for about fifteen minutes and i took her home and ended the night with a kiss. Next day we texted for the majority of the afternoon, and she was texting me back immediatly. I told her i had a great time last night and we should do it again and she agreed. I was thought all was well but recently she has been extremely cold with texts, either texting back one word answers, or responding hours later.
My thoughts are shes either interested in another dude, She was dissapointed in my lack of aggression on the first date, or she didnt have a good time. How do i play this? What is my next move? This girl is incredibly hot and fun to be around and i would like to see where our relationship goes.
Kinda in the same spot. Haven't known her near as long but went on a date with this awesome and gorgeous girl. One of those that doest seem to realize she's sexy. A little back ground, i met her bc a buddy i work with was talkin to her, but he doesnt seem too interested in settling down, so he just had some fun and shes a little emotional from that bc she likes him still. He doesnt know me and her are talking either. From the moment I park to the moment I put her in her car, it's the best date ever. Non stop laughs and everything. Easily the best chemistry I've had with anyone in a long ass time.
The next day, we meet up at Barnes&Noble, hang out a bit, go eat and I take her back to my place to watch a movie. She's cuddling and initiating contact, but not moving too far bc she'll let me kiss her but wouldn't kiss back. She's eventually topless loving the hell out of a massage im givin her. Movies over and she has to run so I say good bye. Get this... Three hours later, shes back over. Sexy see thru shirt she put on just for me, freshly shavin legs (I made a joke earlier about them not being freshly shavin earlier that day), and she's all over me making out, grinding, and me slowly removing her clothes as the night progresses. Thins where goin awesome. End up not having sex, and she leaves talking about how she makes things difficult for herself. I know she likes me... And I think she still likes the other guy... She says she's not lookin for a relationship, but honestly, I know from the way she talks when she gets emotional, she's afraid of getting hurt again. Maybe she sill wants things with him to happen, and knows she can't choose us both.
I haven't had a chance to hang out with her since, but so far I think we've agree to just remain friends for now and live in the moments and do whatever we feel like doin when we're hangin out. I'm gonna keep trying with her, but I've also got other girls to occupy my time too.
Anyways. Good luck bro. Maybe you could text her and propose a "no obligations, no commitments" thing with her and say "let's just hang out, and do whatever feels right at the time". Now that I type it up, it kinda sounds a little AFC, but it's what I did and it seems to be what she wants at the moment.
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I'm no genius in the feild but I have alot of "pre relationship knowledge".
Maybe you need to tone it down, show that you're willing to leave because you may have planted the thought you are HERS, and now she gets to ride all over you, whether she's bored of having you fully (70%) or she likes having you but now that she has you fully she doesnt need to waste time on answering your texts (meh...ill text him later) try showing her you're willing to leave, dont be needy.
Please don't take my advice if you're not ready to go head to head with her because it may not work fully depending on how much more value she has over you and depending on how patient you are with giving her up temporarily (giving her up for good mentally is the frame you need to set to be congruent) either way if she doesnt come running back for your attention you then walked away with your pride, that's good manhood training and heart desensitizing (ive had too much of that training )
Thanks Xai, that sounds like the best way to go. what do you think would be the best time frame for me to wait and show her that im willing to leave?
Make her decide. Make her choose between being a flake with nothing or being with you.
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The best time frame is simply..........ASAP!!!
Originally Posted by cashmoney42
You see, she likes you! obviously she does, when a girl likes a guy or vice versa, they grow attached which means they would rather have this person around than not have them around, you would rather have her around than not have her around, she would rather have you around than not have you around. That is because she feels better with you! that's what makes people get married, love is another word for being too attached to said person to leave BUUUUT, what is the price of her having you around? if you grew too clingy that shows her that there is no price, she can have you at any time and she can relax now and bathe in the glory of having this guy around forever BUUUUT, with this feeling, as it escalates, she thinks of you less , therefore spiralling down to not thinking of you at all, and then dumping you.
Now! You need to be SMOOOTH, no sudden movements, you cant walk up to a girl suddenly and kiss her out of nowhere right? you have to slowly escalate below her subconcious, such as kino, you touch her in ways under the radar but she still registers that she is now comfortable with that touch, from touching her hand up till making out up till sex, it needs to be slow and natural...
So first...Show her that her lack of attention is turning you off( act natural and busy, playful and cool but as if you are got a bit bored with her, answer with short texts and smileys and later say you gotta sleep bye xxxxx), you fell for the girl that made you laugh and talked to you, that'll get her missing your texts and thinking WHAT DO I DO NOW??? she will come back trying to win you back, you reward her with the old talks, she texts again you reward her,whent she doesn't..walk away and wait for her to run and win you over again, gain momentun and slowly escalate this game until she thinks the price of keeping you is talking to you all day, meeting you every hour, whatever you want it to escalate to, aslong as you are smart with showing other girls r interested in you too, and that you can walk away whenever you wish, IN A SUBTLE SMART WAY, embed it into your cool laughy talks, talk about how shy you were when some girl asked your number, or when your friend at the club proposed you guys go the next step but you only see her as a friend, ESCALATE, if you are good at this, the price of keeping you around will be fucking you every night, making you sandwiches and being a good little gf, but don't go that far.
P.S: Don't panic, aslong as she hasn't completely gotten over you and is cold to the level she doesn't want to talk to you (or the pity-zone AKA friend-zone) you can still slowly go up the stairs with escalation, learn to reward for good behaviour and punish her bad behavior (not talking to you) Oh and the next few days is the time to DHV when she comes back running.
appreciate the advice xai
I think you hit the nail on the head with that one, i tend to become to clingy fast in an effort to not lose my girl. I have a lot to work on.
Very insightful. I've looked back on my latest interactions and realize I've lost sight of the fact that I'm the prize, that I'm in control, that they should be chasing me, not the other way around.
Originally Posted by Xai
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