List of Facebook status reports that are DHV - Page 29

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  1. #281

    Quote Originally Posted by River00 View Post
    [I]River00
    River00: a one minute kiss burns 26 calories, so if you need help working out, I've been told that I'm a great spot.
    stolen.


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  2. is what Willis was talking about

  3. #283
    Join Date
    Jan 2008
    Gender:
    Age
    37
    Posts
    1,951

    Quote Originally Posted by Convo View Post
    is what Willis was talking about
    That's fuckin funny.

    Seriously, this is the first time I've actually considered stealing one off here.
    Who is ninja? I am ninja.

  4. _____ walked into a room at this party last night and someone yelled "dibs!"...

    ______ seriously iPhone. stop autocorrecting all my fucks into ducks. you're making all my strong worded texts look harmless and adorable.

    ________ You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS

    ________ chasing vodka with high fives .

    ___________ was wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.

    _________ I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically

    __________ forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.


    ___________ just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.

    ___________ getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.

    ___________ Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B?

  5. #285

    ...wonders if you can bring Sexyback without a receipt?

    ...is kind of ashamed... but you've really got to hand it to blind prostitutes!!

    ...thinks it's bullshit what they say about blondes; brunettes definately know how to have more fun!

    ...is now accepting applications for Evil Sidekick.

    ...isn't ignoring people on purpose, he's just busier than a cucmber in a women's prison right now! I'll get back to you soon.

  6. #286
    Join Date
    Apr 2009
    Gender:
    Posts
    38

    Quote Originally Posted by Lionheart_UK View Post
    ...is just busier than a cucumber in a women's prison

    LMAO! ..stolen

  7. #287

    Quote Originally Posted by stormrage360 View Post
    _____ walked into a room at this party last night and someone yelled "dibs!"...

    ______ seriously iPhone. stop autocorrecting all my fucks into ducks. you're making all my strong worded texts look harmless and adorable.

    ________ You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS

    ________ chasing vodka with high fives .

    ___________ was wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.

    _________ I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically

    __________ forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.


    ___________ just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.

    ___________ getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.

    ___________ Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B?
    Someone has been to textsfromlastnight.com lol.

  8. Defenitely!

  9. #289

    ...is cooler than the other side of your pillow

  10. #290

    I used the "...Thinks brunettes definately know how to have more fun than blondes!" status, and a blonde girl who I was in a mini-relationship with, but didn't go anywhere as she caused too many problems has replied with:

    "maybe you think that because this blonde wouldn't give you a chance to find out how much fun blondes can be"

    I need a good response!!! Please help :[

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