Thought I'd throw a few of the ones I came up with. Some are definitely DHV while others are slightly and more funny. All have a good amount of likes.
"Just had sex in a janitors closet... and they say romance is dead!?"
"I wanna sail the high seas, drink rum all day, and have a silly mustache.... Why can't being a pirate be a more common job!? :/" Thought this one was good because it shows you're fun.
"Thinks almost only counts in horseshoes, hand grenades, and having sex with a twins sister."
tips? feel free to use btw ;]