Something you did that I think MANY guys can learn from:
You put a HINT of sexuality in there (enough to intrigue a woman and make her OPEN to propositioning you) WITHOUT being too explicit/turning her off/scaring her.
The line about the Trojan Magnum XL's in the "six things" was added nicely, NOT FORCED. Good job.
The line at the end about "tasting my sword" could be taken either way, since you mentioned slaying Unicorns. Great job.
Even I can take that type of 'under-the-radar' seduction and apply it in my profile. Subtelty has never been my strong suit so this helps.
By the way, was that the very FIRST message she sent you, or were you two already exchanging notes back & forth first?