Discuss Girls Flaking Out on online game Why. at the Online Game and IMs within the The Attraction Forums. Dating Advice.; Girls Flaking Out on online game Why.
Girls often flake on me after the second ...
Girls Flaking Out on online game Why.
Girls often flake on me after the second or third chat.
I always bring on a higher energy level on the first chat,teasing,joking,playful stuff.
when i talk to them on the second or third chat,their replies are often boring ones.
I have no idea what i did wrong here and i'm the giver of the conversation and doing a power vacuum does not work alot.
I've been thinking about this very topic myself. I feel I am pretty good at online game when it comes to dating sites ( Have met a good number of women, always have girls messaging me because of my profile ) and have experienced the same. There are a number of reasons for why she would flake, maybe she wasn't fully interested to being with, the messages didn't really give her much to go on ( based on her interests of course ), she is talking to multiple guys are you were simply the odd man out, etc. I just had a girl message me again that I remember sending something to maybe a year ago... she never replied, another few months went by and she sent me a message, then never replied to my message back. Now today she sent me this excited email saying she would like to get to know me better and can't wait to chat with me. I know she's totally bat shit crazy, but there's just an example of what can go on when it comes to online dating.
My advice would be focus on the quality of your messages ( make sure they are congruent with who you are, mention something in the girls profile if you can, don't spend too much time on the message, but make sure it shows that you did put in some effort ) and let the stragglers go. There are tons of women on these sites to message and don't just get hung up on the one. You never know, maybe she will come back and message you at some point ;-)
Sometimes people just run out of things to say, esp. if it was in a matter of a few days. Should be meeting up sooner than later.
If they don't want to meet up, next them so when you blow them off and they ask where you went, they've already been burned by the guy they wanted more than you and can focus more on you now. I'll expect that there's prob. 3 or 4 other dudes she's talking to along with me, that for some reason, whether it be time, or someone she feels like is her "soul mate", someone who's better at cold reading her online via her interests and gaming her better, or just photographs well, she was more interested in that.
If there's a common trend going on, you should start tracking what the discussions are in the chats, and read them back to yourself. Then - do a summary of the chat, asking a few questions in the forum about where you think it's going wrong. Don't post the entire chat, but just a few things where you feel it's going in the wrong direction. If you say it's happening often, it sounds like a trend of starting off strong, chatting a lot in a small time frame, and run out of things to say.
Sd hit it. To summerise.
Consider how many options she has. Women are well known for changing their minds.
Originally Posted by mjt10
Yeah true.Thanks mate.
I guess female brains are programmed in such a way that they always find lot of male so that they can pick out the most alpha person or the most attractive.Once they're done with them they slowly move down the food chain.I've since deleted her as i don't see interest in her anymore.
I've also observed that talking about relationships,have you been in love and stuff to girls is actually pretty good for evoking interest in them.Tell them about experiences and feeling you felt.
One of the other reasons why i think they flaked on me was because i wasn't able to bring out that energy level that i had on them the first time i talked to them.This kinda make things boring and if you can't maintain that energy level,attraction will not stand strong for long.
You want to leave a positive impression on her, not give too much of yourself away, but want to save most of the energy for the first couple of meetups. I'll just flat out tell someone where I'll be, what time, and to find me. If they can't make it, fine but I'll give her the benefit of the doubt to see if she does show up. If she doesn't and she hasn't contacted me with a "sorry", I don't bother with her for much longer.
If she starts asking me about my past relationships and becomes very nosy and opinionated about it, trying to find a weak spot with me, I'll ask her why she's a loser at love, seen her on the site as long as I've been on there, so she's in the same boat I am.
If she's a polite, sweet girl, I'll reciprocate, be a complete gentleman but get her fired up a bit and wanting more. She does want a guy she's going to feel safe and secure around, so I have to play that up a bit. If she's got a strong opinion on everything and has to be right - I have to bring my cup because she's going to be breaking my balls for the next hour. I've gotten into yelling matches. If you go out with a girl like that, it can get very loud and get everyone's attention, but you're both on the same page, and doing it for pure amusement. Sometimes it's like hanging out with a dude, and you have to remember to calibrate and not cross the line... she's still a chick and have to restrain yourself a bit from going overboard. Like if she punches you in the arm, you can't hit her back. You can't use certain words that she'll fly off the handle about, but behind closed doors , in the bedroom is fine.
If you have a good memory for faces, odds are you've seen at least 5 girls out of hundreds, from the profiles out in town, out at the clubs, etc.
But if a girl isn't willing to meet up, she just wants a pen pal or put you on the backburner because she still has to catch up to the other guys she put off, while she dated one guy for 2-3 weeks that turned out to be a fail.
Thanks man.You're post is pretty good It's good to share experiences and failures,We can learn from mistakes and improve ourselves better.
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